Meifu's Gate ::Prequel::
by VraieEsprit
Summary: Ukitake and Kyouraku come from opposite sides of the social spectrum, yet both have their own challenges to overcome on their way to becoming Shinigami. A 'prequel' of chapters depicting how their childhoods might have been and how they got to the Academy
1. 1: Ukitake: Unlucky Fourteen

_**Meifu's Gate  
~Prequel~  
**_

_  
This is not so much one story as a series of scenes featuring Ukitake and Kyouraku at various stages during their childhood. Obviously, since we know little about their childhood, this is just a fan interpretation of how things might've been for them back then, and what they might have faced on their journey to Genryuusai's Academy. Each boy has eight scenes in chronology. They're just meant to be a set of key scenes - a prologue of flashback oneshots pulled together into one prequel story. Ukitake's are linked to one another and Kyouraku's to one another. They do not overlap in any way (not at this prologue point!)_

_We're starting with Juushirou, and they'll alternate from here._

_I had planned to write about them at the Academy too - and possibly still will, with any luck - so this is the prequel to that - the backdrop if you like. But I've had arm nerve issues lately in my right (main) arm, so my writing has been slowed down somewhat (and I've only just got to the point of finishing this)._

_Of course, Bleach and the terrible twosome belong to Kubo Tito and not to me. I just play around with them randomly in my spare time :)_

_December 21st is Ukitake's birthday according to the manga, by the way, so _誕生日おめでとう、十君！_  
_

* * *

_**  
**__**Unlucky Fourteen**_

The sky was thick with winter cloud on the day that the baby was born.

As the mother lay back, exhausted from her efforts, all who had attended the birth surrounded the child, peering down at his tiny face and remarking on his perfectly formed features. He was a small baby, true enough, and it had been a long and difficult delivery. But even as the light began to fade in the big back chamber of the rambling, dilapidated manor house, the mood was one of celebration. He was handsome, after all. Flawless, as though made of perfect porcelain, with his eyes already the distinctive hue of the ancient clansfolk before him. He would be his father's son, there was no doubt about it. He would be everything the family hoped for. He would be their hope for the future.

He would be their heir.

There were storms that night.

From sunset to sunrise, lightning split the heavens above the mountain shelf, rain roaring down against the wooden structures, and even from that distance the angry swirl of waves lapping against the cliff-side was enough to keep maidservants flurrying from this place to that, many trying to hide their terror in their work as they struggled to maintain order within the estate.

It was an old building, and every gust of wind whistled through the cracks and splits in the wood beams, piercing through to even the most inner of chambers.

No one slept that night.

None except the child.

That morning, the family elders met in the parlour of the estate to decide on a name for the infant who had slept so soundly even through such a violent, tempestuous storm. His uncles boasted that the child must be possessed of great courage and forbearance, to have withstood such an event on his first night of life without even raising a scream. His aunts claimed that he was simply safe and secure in the comforting surroundings of a close-knit family, and, as all heirs of their family should, had no fear of the burden which would one day fall on his head.

Only the Lord kept his silence, a troubled look in his dark eyes.

The afternoon wore on, as more and more relatives of more and more distance stepped forward to state why the child should be named for their particular favourite ancestor. Why should they not, after all, have hopes of a son who would raise their family's condition from the perimeter of noble society, and lead them forward to the heights many felt a clan of their vintage and dignity should reach? Was it not true, after all, that the current Lord of the Manor had been educated with those claiming connections to the Great Nobility? Was it not the case that, despite the gulf in social status, that Lord had succeeded in securing a wife whose pedigree was fortuitous and beyond doubt? It had undoubtedly been the honour and fairness of their own Lord who had overcome this gap in status and achieved such an unbelievable feat of negotiation. Was it not only right, therefore, that the child born of that union should be a blessed one, charged with taking the Ukitake-ke from the edge to the centre of Seireitei society?

For the first time in several centuries, there was a buzz and excitement surrounding the family that night. Their land was more profitable than it had ever been, allowing them to rent out farming space, employ staff and own their own aging, dilapidated manor house. Over the course of their Lord's fifty years in charge of the family, they had been transformed from one of the most struggling families on the cusp of Seireitei's awareness to people that their nearest neighbours had come to rely on for help and arbitration in times of need. Had they not, after all, now outranked the adjacent Kira-ke in annual income and wealth?

And now, in the midst of all this fortune, their Lord and Lady had been blessed with the birth of a son.

Surely the omens were shining on the Ukitake family that night, brighter even than the frosted Winter moon that cast it brave glow amid the lightning that split the sky.

As the discussions intensified, various names of honour and bravery continued to be tossed about as they struggled to decide on one. As the volume in the chamber rose and rose, a maidservant came to the hall in a great hurry, anxiety in her dark eyes as she dropped breathlessly down before the manor Lord.

The baby had stopped breathing.

In an instance there was chaos, as the aunts wailed and cursed the gloomy omen of the storm and the bleakness it had cast upon their house. The uncles raged and swore that such a young life should be so afflicted within the safe haven of his own home.

The manor Lord said nothing, merely meeting the maidservant's gaze with resigned, troubled eyes.

In the nursery, the child's mother, still exhausted and bruised from her exertions the day before, held the infant close to her chest. Closing her eyes, she prayed fervently with all her spirit and strength to whatever God looked over them, to spare her baby's life even if it cost her her own.

In the still, solemn darkness of the baby's bedchamber, her lips moved soundlessly, reciting prayer after prayer and spell after spell as she clung to the child, not wanting to set him down even though his tiny form did not flinch or cry at her touch.

And then, as though the whole house had been hit by the crash of a tornado, the world trembled and shook right through to the earth's core. In the midst of the aftershock, the baby stirred, opening his hazel-green eyes as he drew ragged, faint breaths into his tiny, struggling lungs. Miniature fingers stretched out and clasped themselves loosely around his mother's thick, sweat-drenched hair, as though looking for some comfort or an anchor in a wild world of light and colour he could not yet understand. Despite his ghost's pallor, faint flushing rose in his cheeks, as though through some divine force the life had been pushed back into him, and whatever dark energy had threatened to rent his body apart had settled and stilled, allowing him to put together the most basic signs for life.

For the first time since his birth, he began to cry.

At the sound of the infant's voice, rejoicing was heard throughout the manor, for the child had been spared by God and returned to them even despite the omen of the storm.

The Lord alone did not give thanks to God. Instead he took the baby from his wife's tired arms, holding him and gazing at him with a look of deep pain in his face.

The child did not stop crying, and as his cries grew more fervent, faint specks of blood began to bubble at the edges of his lip, staining the collar of his snow-white wrapping. As the infant squirmed in his father's grip, the brave spirit of the mother who had held him faded and buckled before them, and she fell to the floor, eyes fluttering shut as she let go of her grasp on her consciousness.

The Lord simply held the child, his grasp tightening as he reached up to wipe the blood flecks away from his tiny mouth.

That night, the baby's mother died, her breath stilling in her sleep as the last of her spiritual aura dissipated and flew to the heavens above. Through the wailing and moaning of her passing, the child slept soundly, seemingly growing in strength with every passing moment.

Yet even though it was never said, the family knew all too well what this child was.

The child bore the curse - the curse of the clan which had condemned so many children to death within their first hours of life.

The baby lived, but even so, the taint of death still lingered in his aura. His life had been spared, but at the cost of the mother who had already given so much effort to bring him into the world. With her spirit power, she had brought him back from the brink of oblivion, yet she had paid the ultimate price for the instinctive, maternal love towards her tiny, infant son.

And so, on the day they laid his mother's remains to rest in the family mausoleum, the Lord named the baby "Juushirou".

* * *

_**Author's note.**_

_Fourteen is apparently unlucky and has connotations of impending death in Asian culture, specifically Chinese and also Japanese. I figured with Juu-kun's birth going back so far as it does, it doesn't really matter too much which culture the omen is drawn from in this case. Juushirou is written in Japanese with the kanji for fourteen plus the kanji 'rou' which can be read roughly in name terms as 'boy' or 'person'. I've always thought there's a reason for it - and now I'm wondering if this is it...after all, Kubo-sensei does love giving his characters names with hidden meanings!!_

_Certainly the kanji for 'four' is associated with death in Japanese culture because it has the same reading - shi - as the kanji for death! People put a lot of focus on the 'Shirou-chan' connections of his name with Toushirou, but I can't help but think it really means something more sinister..._

_As for the social status of the Ukitake, all we know is that they're from the lower level of Seireitei's society and though 'nobility', they're nowhere near the levels of the Kuchiki etc. Yet I didn't want to make them out to be completely impoverished, either. I figure families have strong and weak moments in their history, and that this is perhaps the peak of the Ukitake family's position in society, thanks to the hard word of his father to get them there._

Whether 'Seireitei' is an appropriate name for that side of Soul Society or not during this era is a matter of preference - but I've kept it and Rukongai because it's simply easier that way :P  



	2. 2: Kyouraku: Stray Blossom

_**Stray Blossom**_

The Lord was away from the manor when the child was born.

As his wife delivered the infant into the world, he was far from the main estate, intertwined in the limbs of one of his many mistresses as he slept the deep soporific sleep of the alcohol-saturated.

As the baby took his first breaths, screaming his presence through the huge, elaborate manor house, the head of the clan lay oblivious, neither knowing nor caring that a new life had begun.

In his absence, the child was named Shunsui.

It was the height of summer, yet that year the first twitch of gold and bronze had begun to frame the edges of the trees that stood in the courtyard, and to the many servants that populated the manor, this was an omen. The child was clearly a blessed one, birthed in the season where sun and supplies were plentiful and colours vivid and beautiful for all to see. Yet the faintest of autumn edging that brushed even the most green of leaves suggested something else. Something deeper. Something darker.

He was blessed and auspicious, beyond doubt. Yet even as he bore his father's handsome features in his face, so he bore his father's flaws within his heart.

As his mother held him, she alone cried.

The Lord did not return to the manor for three days.

On his arrival, he was told of the birth of his new son, and asked to join with the family in celebration for the baby's future in the heart of one of Soul Society's most prosperous noble houses.

When he heard his wife had birthed a son, he laughed, dismissing the servants' eagerness with a careless flick of his hand. For him, after all, the baby held no interest. For him, these days, even the heart and home of his family held no interest. He was Lord, as his Father and his Grandfather before him. He was the descendant of one of the richest families in Seireitei, and served by house staff second only to those who paid homage to the great Kuchiki who towered over all, leaving the others in their slipstream and their shadow. For most, to be associated with the Kyouraku family was an honour and a privilege, even at the most base level.

Yet that prosperity lay on a knife-edge, and even the most loyal of retainers knew that, from the Lord's blood-shot eyes and bleary smile, the day may yet come when the name Kyouraku disappeared into the myths of Seireitei past, never to regain their former standing among their peers.

Even now, after all, it had been some five years since the Lord of the Kyouraku manor had ventured from his lands on anything other than the illicit business of begetting illegitimate heirs and soaking his intelligence in the dangerous lure of rich noble sake. Above his desk, the sword by which he was supposed to protect Seireitei gathered dust, the edges blunt where they had once been sharp and precise when it had been wielded against the dark magic of invading Hollows.

In the nursery, oblivious to the politics that surrounded him, the baby slept.

As he did so, many of the Kyouraku family put their hands together in prayer.

That somehow, someone, somewhere would drag the honour of the clan from the depths of despair, and bring them once more to the place that they should be.

--------------

_**Author's Note**_

It's never been said whether Kyouraku is or isn't a Great Noble House, but it's clear they have higher status than the Ukitake. I figure that even if they're not a Great House now (and they might be, we don't officially know), they could have been one, once (like the Shiba). So I've worked on that premise with Shunsui and his family :)


	3. 3: Ukitake: Childhood Fancy

_**Childhood Fancy**_

"Repeat it back to me, please - I want to make sure you've fully understood."

In the blazing, dry heat of the school-room, the slender young man with his well-featured, distinctive face stood back against the wall, gazing at his pupil expectantly as he waited for the child to obey him. Though it was the height of summer, and for many of the children hereabouts that meant playing in the lapping ocean or climbing trees for fruit or birds eggs, lessons still had to continue. And for Juushirou, that meant a morning of arithmetic, letters and philosophy, even though he as much as any other eight year old was dying to feel the cool sensation of salt water between his toes.

"Juushirou-sama? Please, I'm waiting."

The teacher's gentle words brought the boy back to himself and he smiled sheepishly, a winning smile that had so often thrown teachers on the verge of scolding him off guard with its frank, open honesty.

"I'm sorry, sensei. It's hot in here - I suppose I became distracted."

"Yes, I suppose you did." Despite himself, the teacher's lips twitched into a faint smile. "But I have my orders from your Father. You're not to leave this room until you've shown me that you can remember all of the things we've discussed in this morning's lesson."

He reached out his long, polished shaft of wood towards the board, tapping it gently as he did so.

"Now, let's go through this again, shall we? Let's see how much you've understood."

Juushirou sighed, resting his chin in his hands as he turned his gaze reluctantly back to the lists of characters that decorated the makeshift wall at the furthest end of the chamber.

"Everything in our existence is founded on the concept of balance." He said softly, realising that, nice as his teacher could be, he meant every word of what he said. "Everything we do has a significant opposite factor - for this world's existence, something else exists to keep it in balance. If that balance was to be obstructed, then the balance of those other things would also be obstructed. Therefore the most important thing is to keep this world in balance with itself, so that the other factors can also remain stable and secure."

"And in terms of Seireitei, what is the overall implication of this?"

The boy furrowed his brow, wishing his thoughts weren't so easily distracted by the faint sounds of splashing and laughter that were drifting in through the open shuttered window.

"That so long as everything here is safe and calm, everything everywhere else must be too?"

"Not quite." Despite himself the teacher laughed, coming to rest his hand on the child's shoulders. "Sometimes, Juushirou-sama, you speak with all the sense and maturity of a boy twice your age. Yet from time to time I'm reminded just how young you are. It's a difficult concept to grasp, in any case. And fundamentally you're not wrong - while Seireitei and Soul Society as a whole is calm, it generally means nothing outside is threatening its stability. However..."

"However?"

"Come with me." The teacher beckoned, leading the way across the classroom to the rear window. Juushirou got obediently to his feet, confusion and curiosity mingled in his clever eyes as he followed the older man across the floor.

"What do you suppose lies beyond Seireitei?"

"Rukongai, sensei."

"And what is Rukongai, do you think?"

"I...I don't really know too much about that." Juushirou reddened, despite himself. "Papa said something about souls from outside Seireitei living there...I don't really know what it means, though."

"You know what Shinigami are, though, don't you?"

"Yes." Juushirou answered promptly. "They're the noble-born sons of Great Families who slay invading Hollows and keep everything in balance."

The teacher smiled.

"It's true that, in the current order of things, Shinigami are born from the highest of Noble families, and that it's always been one of their key duties to keep Seireitei safe from the invading threat of Hollows." He agreed. "But Seireitei alone is their concern, Juushirou-sama. They protect this area as part of their honour - within the walls, they take their business very seriously."

He eyed the boy keenly.

"Do you recall, then, the names of the eight Great Houses that rule Seireitei beneath the King himself?"

"I can." Juushirou nodded.

"Well, then? Remind me, for I seem to have forgotten." There was a teasing note in the teacher's tone, and Juushirou grinned, knowing that his companion was playing with him.

"Yamamoto, Shihouin, Urahara, Unohana, Shiba, Kuchiki, Endou, Kyouraku." He said purposefully, holding up his thin pale hands to count each one off as he spoke the name, and his teacher laughed, nodding his head.

"In the correct order, too. I'm impressed."

"Well, it's easy to remember things like that." Juushirou said honestly. "Because you taught me them in an easy way."

He cast his gaze back out across Seireitei, his brow furrowing as he took in the high towers of the imperial style buildings that stood in a circle around Seireitei, as if guarding the inner territory from outside dangers. They were like guard dogs to Juushirou's young eyes, and something about the sight of them made him feel safe and secure within his family's coastal home. Seireitei was a large expanse of land, within which many families of various noble standing made their home. But it was these eight pillars of their community on which the law and the security of their world depended, and Juushirou had always taken comfort in the strong fortresses that, no matter which way he looked, were always somewhere in his line of sight.

Like spokes on a wheel, the estates had not been built in their current locations by chance. Three or four centuries earlier there had been a civil uprising between noble clans, with disagreements and divisions over land and territory. Although most of the Great Noble Houses were too rich for Juushirou's young mind to properly appreciate, with estates and territory in several different sectors of Soul Society, the power hub of Seireitei had always been a bone of contention, and so, after much fighting and bloodshed, representatives of each family had been drawn together to one central place, and, in a solemn agreement, had divided the most desirable central territory into eight segments. Within these eight segments, each family held full sway - and Juushirou knew that it was a matter of great pride for each to hold the justice and peace of the people below them in their hands.

"An easy way, huh?" The teacher looked pensive. "I can see I'm going to have to plan some more challenging lessons, if that's the case. I can't have you getting bored."

"I'm not bored." Juushirou hurried to tell him. "I like hearing about things like that. About the Noble Families and what they do to protect Seireitei."

He grinned.

"And I know that this sector belongs to the Kuchiki-ke." He added importantly. "Because Father told me so."

"That's true." The teacher agreed. "Within Seireitei there are eight divisions, after all, and within them the quality of life among the people is much the same. And even though, these days, the Kuchiki-ke is still thought of as the family with the greatest spiritual gifts - the agreement of four centuries ago keeps the peace between the divisions."

He pursed his lips, glancing back towards Seireitei's walls.

However, beyond the divide, it's quite different."

He faltered for a moment, then,

"Maybe you are too young to learn about this, yet." He reflected. "But even so, I don't want to conceal it from you, either. The souls that inhabit Rukongai are brought here by the blades of certain Noble-born Shinigami especially selected as the elite among the elite to take on the job. You've heard of the Gotei, haven't you?" As Juushirou nodded. "That from each of the Eight Noble Families, one Lord or Lady is chosen as the most spiritually strong in their generation, in order to leave Seireitei and take care of keeping the balance of this world in check by cleansing the other world of Hollows. When the Gotei go to the Real World, they often encounter stray souls there, too."

"Stray souls?" Juushirou frowned.

"In order to keep the balance of our world, the Gotei cleanse these souls, too, and send them to Rukongai." His companion agreed. "As part of the agreement they made four hundred years ago, protecting Seireitei's stability is their number one priority. Rukongai was established originally to take care of these souls - since they aren't like those of us born within the walls and so can't come to Seireitei in the same way."

"I see." Juushirou's eyes were huge as he absorbed this. "Then the Noble Families are even more amazing than I thought. Not only do they protect people here, but they rescue people from other places, too."

The teacher smiled, a faint sadness in his eyes as he rested his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"There's that innocence again." He murmured. "Yes, Juushirou-sama, it would be nice if that was the case. But the Gotei are but eight individuals in total. And Seireitei is already a big place. Besides, Rukongai is not like Seireitei. The divisions there are far more numerous and far more uneven. It's a very different world to the one you and I know."

"I don't understand." Juushirou rested his small fingers on the sill, gazing out towards the huge stone wall that divided his world from the one beyond, curiosity in his gaze as, seaside splashing forgotten, he absorbed his companion's words. "If the Noble Families help them and send them there, surely it's all all right? Even if the Gotei number only a few, the Noble Families are incredibly powerful, aren't they? Otherwise they wouldn't be able to do things like cross worlds and kill Hollows."

"The Hollows infiltrate Rukongai, too." The teacher said quietly. "It seems that, over the course of the past few centuries, the world from which those souls come has been rent by warfare and turmoil in several different places. As a consequence, more and more souls are being ripped from their lives and families. Their uncertainty drives them to become prey for the darkness that lives within them. Because of it, there are now more Hollows than there ever have before. The Noble Families are neither willing nor able to control this stark rise in numbers. So Hollows invade Rukongai. And what was meant to be a haven is now no longer."

"But...why can't they stop it?" Juushirou stared at his teacher in alarm, and the teacher shook his head.

"Because the Gotei has always been formed from the peak of noble blood." He said sadly. "And the peak of noble blood means the elite among the elite. You know what elite means, don't you?"

"Yes." Juushirou pursed his lips. "So even though they're strong, there are too many Hollows for them to kill them all?"

"Exactly."

"And no one else can do anything about it?"

"At the present time, Juushirou-kun, very few people are trying to."

"What's this, Kamikura? Are you trying to teach my boy politics again when he's barely grasped all of the kanji that make up his latest reading texts?"

Before Juushirou could respond, the door slid back to reveal the manor Lord, a grin on his face as he cast the pair of them a rueful look. "Don't you think he's a bit young for horror stories about Hollows and Rukongai just yet? Give the child a chance to grow up, at least, before you scare him half to death."

"I'm not scared, Otousama." Juushirou protested, shaking his head as if to emphasise his point. "I just think it's horrible, that's all. If the Hollows are there and no one is stopping them. Because if that happens, won't we be unbalanced? Won't the Hollows break Soul Society, if they keep coming to it and hurting people here?"

Despite himself the Lord stopped dead, staring at his son in surprise, and Kamikura chuckled.

"Your son is far more intelligent than you give him credit for, my Lord." He said softly. "He grasps things quite well, for the most part, once you explain them to him clearly."

"So I see." The Lord gathered himself, offering the teacher a rueful smile. "But that's enough for today. Good as those braincells are, Juu-kun, I don't want you burning them out completely in this blazing heat. Go and change, and join your siblings - but mind you keep to the shade and don't do anything too strenuous. If you start to cough, I want you back inside at once - I won't tolerate another attack like last month, because you wouldn't keep out of the spray even though you were warned."

Juushirou sighed heavily, bowing his head in resignation towards his father.

"Yes, sir. I'll remember." He said heavily. "Thank you for my lesson, sensei. I'll go now."

With that he scooped up his books, crossing the classroom and pushing back the sliding door. As he made his way along the hallway towards his chamber, he could just about hear the voices of his elders in the background, and he frowned at their words, kicking idly against the wood panelling as he went.

"He truly is intelligent, that's for sure." That was his father. "And I've always known that, in some vein or form. But Hollows, Kamikura - Juu-kun's always been very particular about right and wrong and those things. Plus, he has a tendency to be far more active than his body wants him to be. The last thing I want is him diving off to save the world because he thinks there are people in peril."

"He's an eight year old boy, my Lord. With all respect, even with his intelligence, his focus is still far more on playing with his siblings than it is the politics of Seireitei."

"But the situation is becoming more serious, and even Genryuusai-sama's great idea is probably going to pan out as too little too late." His father sounded strained, and despite knowing that eavesdropping was bad, Juushirou found his pace slowing as he paused to listen to the conversation more carefully.

"Do you think so? I've begun to think it's the only hope that this world has to keep existing." Kamikura sighed.

"That depends, I suppose, on whether the Yamamoto-ke keep indulging it the way they so far have." The Lord admitted. "It's well spoken of in many circles that Genryuusai-sama should have been the next candidate for the Gotei, after all, when his father died - but instead he's stuck to Seireitei and begun this project of his. I simply wonder how long that situation can go on."

"Genryuusai-sensei has a tremendous amount of popularity among the Noble Houses, I suppose." Kamikura reflected. "Even for one like me, that much is clear, my Lord. He has a good deal of respect from most of the other clans because of his fairness and his unwillingness to bend to coercion or deceit."

He sighed.

"I realise that I'm in no position at all to say these things, as the illegitimate son of an insignificant noble lord, but even so, sir, I can't help but dwell on it. At least Genryuusai-sensei is trying to find a solution to the problem. Whether his Academy will continue to grow or whether it will simply be another place for noble peacocks to strut, I don't know. It is at the very least somewhere that lesser members of the Great Houses can gain training and education that may have passed over them in times gone by. But there's one thing in which I'm in no doubt at all. The current system is not going to be a solution forever. However strong the Gotei chosen are, the work is too great for them to take on alone. And, as Noble warriors are wont to do, they fix their interests closest to home."

"Remember who you're talking to before you make such statements, Kamikura. Even though we have been friends a long time, and even though I may be of a level several ranks below the people you mean, by legacy my clan are nobility too. More importantly, we rely on the goodwill of the Upper Nobility to keep our family in the position they currently are."

"I meant no offence, my Lord."

"I know you didn't." The Lord sighed. "But I'd sooner you didn't put those ideas into Juushirou's head before he's old enough to understand them fully. I don't want him up against any of the Clans. Strong as he is where his will is concerned, his health is still delicate. And even the tenuous ties of distant kinship won't forgive him rudeness in the eyes of the Kuchiki manor lords, if he should decide to act foolishly."

"I'm not so sure, my Lord." Kamikura sounded thoughtful. "I rather imagine that they might come off the worst, one day, in a battle of wits with that boy."

"Perhaps. But let us at least allow him to grow to adulthood before we give him that kind of inspiration, all right?"

"Juu-sama, there you are!"

The sound of one of the house maids startled Juushirou's attention back to the present, and he turned, his eyes guilty as he met the warm gaze of one of the household's longest standing servants. She had helped deliver him, he knew, on that dark, terrible day when it had seemed he was never going to take a breath in the world at all, and for this reason Juushirou had always been fond of her.

She glanced at him now, amusement on her features as she took in his furtive expression.

"Are you sneaking away from classes early, by any chance?" She asked lightly, and Juushirou shook his head hastily, meeting her gaze with his own.

"No, Anika. It's not that." He said quickly. "Father came and told me to get changed to go outside. I was just...thinking. About this morning's lessons. And about the Hollows in Rukongai."

"Who's been telling you horror stories about Rukongai?" Anika tut-tutted. "That's not something a boy of your years should be concerning himself about just yet. Let it rest, Juu-sama, and come with me. I'll help you pick out the best robe to keep the sea chill from your chest, and then you'll be able to go play with the others."

"It's hardly playing with them, if I always have to stay to the shallows." Juushirou murmured, and Anika laughed.

"You are an odd one, you know that?" She said affectionately, ruffling his unruly mop of dark hair with her hand as she did so. "You want to do everything you're not supposed to do. I don't think I've ever known a child with such a penchant for life before."

"Father always says it's mother's love inside of me making me want to live." Juushirou said seriously. "I don't know if it is or it isn't, Anika - but I hate it when I can't do things the others do. I'm the oldest, after all. I don't like sitting on the side watching them swim. I want to swim too. I'm sure I could, you know."

"The Lord would have my hide if I let you do anything so strenuous." Anika said matter-of-factly. "If he's spoken to you that way, my boy, you should understand more clearly why he makes the rules he does. You mean a lot to him, after all. The whole world, in some respects. You oughtn't try to worry him so much. It's not kind."

"Worry him?" Juushirou stared at her, confused. "I don't do that on purpose. And it's not like I'm going to swim. I just would like to. I like the water."

A dreamy smile touched his lips.

"Sometimes I feel it's calling to me." He murmured. "It's hard to explain, but I always feel most at peace by the water."

"There you are, saying things in the way an old man convalescing by the sea might." Anika teased. "But even so, there'll be no swimming today. All right? Not on any terms. Have some patience on your father's nerves and behave yourself for once."

"I behave myself a lot!" Juushirou's pride was wounded at this. "And wanting to do things isn't misbehaving. Not if they're things the others can do."

He pursed his lips.

"You're just like your mother." Anika sighed in resignation, marshalling him into the bedchamber that, by dint of being the eldest had been his and his alone since he had been a tiny infant. Though the Ukitake clan were nobility, and of a high enough standing to command serving staff, they were not rich nor extravagant, and Juushirou had always felt this particular privilege a special honour that was his and his alone. "She would have said the same thing, and no doubt have ignored any advice to the contrary, too."

"My mother?" Juushirou sat down on his bed. "You don't talk about her very often, Anika."

"That's because it makes your Father sad, to hear about her." Anika said matter-of-factly, rummaging through the wood closet as she selected the most suitable clothing for her companion to wear down to the water's edge. "And I don't like doing anything to make the Lord sad."

"But..."

Juushirou's brows furrowed, and for a moment he was silent, contemplating this. Then, as he held up his arms for his companion to help him loosen the upper portion of his clothing, he raised his gaze to Anika's once more.

"Father loves Okaasama very much, doesn't he?"

"Kaede-sama? Yes. A good deal, I imagine." Anika agreed, pulling stray wisps of dark hair out of her way as she helped him struggle out of the plain clothing his father had insisted he wore for all his lessons, rain or shine. "Why?"

"Then why would it make him sad, to remember Mother?"

"Because he loved her very much, too." Anika said simply. "You're too young to understand that yet, and maybe you never will - I don't know. But your Father and Mother grew up together. They were childhood best friends, after all."

Juushirou's expression became clouded.

"Then...why does he love _me_?" He asked in a soft voice. "Because _I_ was the one who took her away, wasn't I?"

"Oh, you silly boy. Not at all, and your father knows it too." Anika scolded him, tapping him gently on the head as she sent him a reproachful glance. "He loves you because you're his son. There's no reason for you to feel your Mother died because of you. She died because she was weak after your birth. That's all. And no baby decides on when he'll be born, or how. Your Father is simply glad you survived. He has you, and you're a part of your mother's memory. So he loves you."

"Mm." Juushirou got to his feet, glancing at his reflection in the mirror thoughtfully.

"I would have liked it, you know, if I could have seen her once." He said quietly. "Just once. To see if she was as beautiful as everyone says."

"As beautiful and more, right down to her heart." Anika assured him. "And though you have your father's eyes, Juu-sama, you have your mother's features in your face, too. She's right there, you know, if you look at your own reflection carefully. As you grow, you'll find it more and more. She lives within you - as all parents do inside of their children."

Juushirou was silent again, then he nodded his head.

"I'll be good today." He said soberly. "I won't go too far into the water and I won't let Sanji-kun or Hiro-kun splash me, no matter how excited they get."

"Good boy." Anika patted him playfully on the head. "Then let's go see what your siblings have got themselves up to. Though I can't imagine they've done too much mischief, with Kaede-sama there to watch over them."

"Okaasama is there, too?" Juushirou looked surprised, and Anika nodded.

"Even busy mothers need a moment to sit back and relax." She teased him, and Juushirou blushed.

"I suppose so."

"She'll be glad to see you too, though, I imagine. Hiro-sama doesn't seem to listen to anyone but you when it comes to his wilder exploits, and when I left them he was trying to catch crabs in the sleeve of his robe."

Despite himself, Juushirou sighed.

"That sounds like fun." He murmured wistfully, and Anika shook her head.

"Juu-sama..."

"It's all right. I understand and I already gave my word so I won't break it." Juushirou assured her. "It'll just be nice to be out by the sea again. Father hasn't let me since my attack last month - and I've missed it so much."

"You really do love the waves, don't you?"

"They make me feel peaceful, I told you." Juushirou responded, as they walked together towards the rear exit of the estate, taking the rocky pathway down to the shore where the younger members of the Ukitake family were merrily shouting and splashing around. "I never feel even a little bit ill when I'm by the sea."

"You really are an odd child." Anika chuckled. "The night you were born, you slept through the most ungodly storm, and the waves were right up against the cliffs then. And even though your siblings cry when it thunders, you're always there, standing at your window, watching the lightning dart across the sky. Now it's the sea - you really are going to have to get this dreamy side of yours in proper check before you reach adulthood, you know. How are you going to take over the family estate if you're constantly thinking about such random, abstract things?"

"I don't think of them when I'm in my classes." Juushirou protested. "I work hard then, Anika. I promise I do."

"I'm sure you do." Anika looked resigned. "All right, here we are. Remember your promise, all right? I don't want to have to drag you back to the house early or get a scolding from the Lord for indulging your whims - so mind yourself this afternoon. So long as you do, after all, there's no reason he'll stop you coming here tomorrow or the next day, while this weather continues."

"I won't forget." Juushirou promised solemnly. "I'll not do anything to make Father angry or upset, Anika. I swear."

Anika smiled, gently tweaking the boy's short tail of dark hair.

"Then go and join your siblings, before it's time to come home and too cool for you to even paddle." She suggested lightly. "Go on. Your family are waiting for you."


	4. 4: Kyouraku: Cold Justice

_**Cold Justice**_

The meeting had been in session for eight hours now.

Creeping through the slats that separated the roof panels from the draughty lofts over his head, the six year old boy scrambled and wriggled himself into a more comfortable alcove, pressing his hands hard against the wood as he squinted through the slight gap in the craftsmanship.

He had often used this place as his secret hideout, whenever his nurses wanted him for something unpleasant like a bath or, more usually, to finish his morning studies. Yet today it was a completely different reason that had drawn him to his favourite vantage point within the expansive Kyouraku manor.

That day, after all, a visitor had come to the estate.

Shunsui had never met his Uncle before, but from the finery of his clothing and the sharp, impatient way he had spoken to his retainers, the small boy had quickly realised that he was as different to his lazy, indolent father as night was from day. Even inside his six year old brain, Shunsui was wise enough to understand that this was part of the reason family reunions between the brothers had always been few and far between. After all, he had reasoned to himself, with impeccable infant logic, his father had scarcely spent two minutes in the same room as _him_ since the moment he was born. And though no one had ever said it to his face, Shunsui's sharp ears were quick enough to hear the whispers of the serving maids as they went about their daily duties.

Matsuhara, Lord of the Kyouraku estate, had no interest in or time for either his lady wife, or the son that she had birthed him on that summer's night, six years before.

Yet Shunsui did not hate his father. Rather, the man was a shadow who existed on the periphery of his understanding, flitting in and out like a ghost at all hours of the day or night. In fact, there had only ever been one time that Shunsui had been angry with his father for his bad behaviour.

It had been his birthday, two years before, and it had been the first time he had seen his mother cry.

Even though he was only six years old, Shunsui had had enough presence of mind to realise that the sudden coming of his Uncle was neither coincidence or likely to be on an innocent errand. The black cloud that had hung heavily around the man's aura as he had stalked stiffly inside, pausing only to pass his cloak to a waiting servant had pierced through Shunsui's young senses like a knife, and the boy had quickly decided that keeping out of the way was the safest strategy. Yet even so, his curiosity had gotten the better of him.

And so, within the crevices of his favourite hiding place, he had concealed himself, watching the grown ups below him as they paced and argued and reasoned with one another over things that he did not understand.

Occasionally words such as 'Gotei' and "Family responsibility" drifted up towards him, but although Shunsui knew that it had some connection to the dusty silver sword that hung over his father's desk, he did not really grasp the importance of the conversation. His father had never once taken the weapon down from its perch, after all. In fact, most of the times Shunsui had seen his father, the man had been too inebriated to even recognise his own son. Shunsui was used to being called a variety of different names, and for simplicity's sake he had long since stopped trying to make corrections. There was, after all, no point.

Shunsui was not the kind of child who wasted time and energy on pointless ventures.

He shifted against the wood, wishing that the adults would finish their conversation soon. He was hungry now, and whatever his interest had been earlier, now it was waning as the day drew on into the late afternoon. Yet he did not leave his post, afraid that even the slightest attempt to do so would alert someone to his presence. Even at six, Shunsui knew eavesdropping was a Bad Thing - and he had no mind to take a whipping from his father's houseman to uphold that fact.

Though with the glint in his Uncle's eye, Shunsui half expected that the houseman's ministerings would be preferable to anything his kinsman could produce.

He peered through the crack once again, his gaze taking in the thin form of his father slouched at his desk, gazing at his brother with empty, hollow eyes as the younger man ranted and raved, waving his hands to illustrate his point. How his Uncle knew so many words, let alone how to string them together at such speed for such a long time, Shunsui did not know. All he knew was that it seemed his Uncle had barely stopped to draw breath since the doors had been locked earlier that morning, and his father had barely even tried to speak in his own defence.

If he hadn't known better, Shunsui would have thought that it was his Uncle, and not his father at all who held full sway over the Kyouraku family estate.

In the chamber below, a sudden shift in spiritual energy sent a shockwave through Shunsui's unprepared body, and he flinched as if struck by something hot, stiffening as his attention was drawn back to the confrontation. Something had changed, he realised. The men were no longer talking, and yet, even from so high above them, Shunsui could clearly feel the prickling of electricity in the chamber, tension rising with every passing second.

With one sweeping movement, his Uncle had grabbed the shelved sword from its resting place, tossing it down on the desk in front of his father with a sharp command that Shunsui could not quite make out. His father had gazed at the weapon blankly for a moment, then back up at his brother before slowly shaking his head. This only served to enrage the uncle further, for the younger man banged his fist down on the polished oakwood, agitation in his every movement.

"This family will come to ruin because of your licentious acts!" Now the man's voice was loud enough for Shunsui to hear every word clearly. "You are destroying this clan from the inside, Oniisama! I will not stand for it - no, the clan will not stand for it any more!"

He banged his hand down again for further emphasis.

"For eight years we've let it go, but it cannot go on!" He said darkly. "I find it impossible to believe you are unable to see the shame that creeps over our family day by day thanks to your actions. Your elder son and heir is being raised by a rival clan, since you've apparently absolved yourself of a father's responsibility. Your younger son is let loose to do as he pleases around this estate, without any thought to form or education! Your actions and behaviour threaten your Gotei position and ridicule your rank as one of the Eight Great Nobles, Matsuhara - and we will_ not_ be the laughing stock of Seireitei any longer!"

There was a moment of silence, as Shunsui's father gazed at his sword again. He said something too quiet for Shunsui to hear, and the Uncle snorted.

"A noble does not have that kind of attitude." He snapped, derision in his tones. "You are a man of this estate! A _man_, not a boy with a penchant for wild games! You have a duty - a duty to everyone! Take up your sword and acknowledge it before me - or I swear, I will beat it into you myself!"

Shunsui realised at that moment that he really did not like his Uncle very much.

Slowly and unsteadily, Matsuhara got to his feet, grasping the hilt of his sword loosely in his right hand as he used his left to steady himself against the desk. With a lightning fast flick of his wrist, the Uncle's blade was in that man's own grip, sweeping with a glitter of light through the air and even in his hiding place Shunsui felt the brisk breeze of reiatsu that swept through the atmosphere.

A cold chill gripped the boy's heart as he understood the meaning behind their gestures.

They were going to fight.

Shunsui sat frozen to the spot, watching almost numbly as the others in the room stepped back, allowing the two men to face one another head on. None of them made any move to prevent the brothers from meeting swords, and Shunsui felt a sick sensation curl itself up inside of him as he realised that no one meant to intervene. That his Uncle, who had come from so far away wearing such fine clothing had truly come here to challenge his brother for leadership of the Kyouraku clan.

And, if need be, it would be a fight unto death.

For the first time in his young life, Shunsui was truly afraid.

He knew, for many, many people had said it, that his father was a useless, drunken, waste of space of a man. He knew that Matsuhara was a virtual stranger to him, and that even when the man was home, rare were the times that Father and son met. Yet something in that cold resolve to kill or be killed penetrated even the deepest recesses of the boy's infant heart, and he knew in that instant that, useless as his father was, he had never seen the man try to kill anyone.

In fact, he knew, for his mother had told him, that his father had always hated conflict.

"He has vices enough to fill all the Eight Noble Houses." She had said once, when he had overheard her speaking to her chief maid in waiting. "Yet somehow I forgive him, Funayo. I forgive him because I know that his duty has destroyed him. This clan has destroyed him. Becoming head of the family and one of the Gotei's chosen broke any spirit he ever had inside of him. It's not me he's running from, nor Shunsui. It's himself. Himself and the duty his family have shackled him to. So I cry for him. But I cannot hate him for it."

Shunsui had pondered on those words for a long time without understanding them. Yet in that moment, he understood them, as he saw the glimmer of true pain in his father's brown eyes.

And he also knew that, useless and weak as his father might be, Shunsui did not want him to die.

He clenched together his tiny fists in despair and anger, emotions welling up inside of him as he watched the two nobles circle each other like hunting wolves, one tired and lacklustre, the other bristling with indignant energy.

Whatever this _Gotei_ was, it was surely something terrible.

A terrible thing that had made his Uncle want to kill his father.

And then, in the briefest of instants, it was over. A flood of spiritual energy flared across the chamber, almost paralysing Shunsui's infant senses, then, just as suddenly it was gone, leaving the air empty and flat behind it. Desperately Shunsui gathered his wits, pulling his attention back to the chamber below, and his tiny heart almost stopped in his chest as he interpreted the scene below.

His father lay motionless on the floor, a small pool of blood beginning to spread out around his still body.

Over him, his weapon still glistening with the glow of fresh blood, Shunsui's Uncle stood, breathing hard, his expression a mixture of ice and resolution.

"For the sake of the Kyouraku, Oniisama, nothing else but your blood was acceptable." Shunsui heard him say, over the pulse-beat that seemed to be echoing fit to explode inside of his ears. "For your son's sake and the future of this clan, I'll take over everything. You can have your peace, after all. And I'll bring the Clan back to where it should be."

He turned, beckoning to one of his retainers, who had stood motionless throughout the entire bloody confrontation.

"Kane, find Shunsui." He said evenly. "And also, send word to Yoshiko of her husband's passing. Tell her that from here on in, her duties regarding her son are at an end. As Matsuhara's blood brother, I intend claiming wardship of the boy myself, after all. And I'll see to it that he's educated in a way that befits a member of this clan, no matter what."


	5. 5: Ukitake: A Seed's Strength

_**A Seed's Strength**_

It could not have been a more perfect summer's day.

Excitement in every step, Juushirou bounced along the pathway, following his father's long, even strides further and further from the estate as they delved into the thick forestland that surrounded the Ukitake manor. When he had been very small, Juushirou remembered being told various stories about fairies and spirits that lingered in the trees here, and as he gazed around him, he wondered whether or not any of those tales had been true.

Certainly, with the sunlight radiating through the gaps between branches to the ground below, the environment was mottled and hazy, as if he had stepped into another world, and there was a fresh scent of blossom on the air which, though faint, seemed to add a whole new aura to his surroundings.

He paused, taking a deep breath into his lungs.

"Juu-kun?"

At his hesitation, the Lord stopped, turning to glance at him questioningly, and Juushirou blushed, hurrying to catch up the gap that had opened up between them.

"Are you all right?" As he reached the older man's side, the Lord cast him an anxious look, and Juushirou nodded his head firmly.

"Yes, sir. It's just, this is my first time in the forest like this. And I was just enjoying the atmosphere. The air seems clean here, and it doesn't make me cough. I like that."

"I'm sure you do." His father grinned, reaching across to tousle the boy's thick, messy dark hair. "That's why we came to this altitude in the first place - because I thought it would give you the best chance of being able to breathe more easily. You've been in stronger health lately, in any case - but I don't want to take unecessary chances with you while you're still growing."

"I feel fine, sir. Thank you." Juushirou assured him, with all the dignity a twelve year old could possess after having had his hair ruffled loose from its ties. "This is the first time we've ever done anything like this - I've been looking forward to it. I wouldn't dare be sick today."

"I'm glad about that." Despite himself, the Lord laughed. "Very well, then. This is as clear an area as any, and we're far enough away from home that none of your siblings will accidentally interfere. This is, after all, a very special ritual between Father and son, Juushirou-kun. You're my eldest child, and one day, you will be the head of this clan. As such, you must be able to defend yourself and your family - at least to a basic level. It's one of the things that every Head of every clan must one day learn, after all. Even if what we have to defend pales in comparison to the Great Noble Houses - we have our pride too."

He reached across to squeeze Juushirou's thin, pasty arms.

"There don't seem to be many muscles here yet, but I'm sure we'll find a way to change that." He added playfully, and Juushirou blushed furiously, wishing his father had not made the observation so bluntly. "I suppose it can't be helped, either - though Anika has often told me that if you want to fight against something, you're more than capable of doing so."

He winked, releasing his grip.

"Though I suppose, these days, you no longer allow Anika to bathe or dress you like you did when you were small, do you?"

"I'm not a baby any more, sir." Juushirou got a grip on himself, shaking his head. "And there are the little ones who need her more. I'm quite able to wash and clothe myself, after all. And like you said, I'm the eldest. So I have to do things first."

He glanced mournfully at his hands.

"I need to catch up to Hiro-kun, too." He murmured. "He's been learning Kendou for two years already, and he's eighteen months younger than me."

"That's partly why I gave into Kamikura's advice and allowed you to have a go for yourself." the Lord pulled the wooden sticks from the _obi_ of his kimono, glancing at them and then tossing the lighter of them towards his son, who caught it clumsily in his right hand. "Ah, good catch! Your reflexes aren't slow, it seems, even if they lack training."

Juushirou glanced at the stick, running his finger carefully over the smooth surface of the wood for a moment. Then he nodded.

"I'll do my best." He said simply.

For the next hour, the boy found himself drilled in the basics of wielding the Kendou stick, repeating the same things again and again until his father was happy that he had grasped the rule before moving on. Despite his slow development, Juushirou had found that it was not difficult to understand what he was supposed to do, and he was almost disappointed when his father dropped his stick down by a tree, indicating for his companion to do the same.

"Enough. Time for you to have a break." He said firmly, and Juushirou sighed, yet obediently did as he was bidden.

"How's your chest?" His father asked softly. "Your cheeks have more colour than I've ever seen, Juu-kun, but I don't want that to be because you're about to suffocate or choke."

Juushirou frowned. If he was honest, his lungs did ache somewhat from the unaccustomed exercise, yet even as he took in a deep breath of air, there were no spasms or twitches of pain, and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm all right, sir. Thank you." He said seriously. "I can breathe just fine. I'm just not very used to so much exercise - but I don't feel like I'm going to have an attack."

"Then stopping when we did was a good plan, and we'll take a few minutes to let you cool down." His father suggested. "No, don't sit," As Juushirou made to drop down in the shade of the tree beside his stick. "It's better for you to keep on your feet. Stopping suddenly after exercise is more likely to make you ill than not, after all - and Okaasama won't forgive me if I bring you back home fevered and coughing."

"I didn't know that." Juushirou eyed his father in surprise. "Is that really true, Otousama?"

"It's something my Father taught me, when we came to practice here when I was a boy." The Lord responded simply.

"Otousama came here to train, too?" Juushirou was startled, and his companion nodded.

"Many, many times." He agreed. "Believe it or not, Juu-kun, your Grandfather was a harder task-master than I am, and he didn't give me much leeway to miss a session, no matter what else was going on."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"We're not Nobility of the Kuchiki-ke's level, that's for sure." He added softly. "But even so, there are sometimes dangers we need to be able to protect ourselves from. We're Seireitei-born, which means we have that power inside of us - all of us - no matter what level our birth happens to be. Even if we're not elite members of the Gotei, Juu-kun, there's no excuse not to learn how to be stronger. For the sake of the people at home, it's important to know everything you possibly can do. There's always someone weaker than you, after all - someone who needs protecting."

"Someone who needs protecting?" Juushirou repeated this carefully, pondering the meaning of his father's words as he did so. For a moment there was silence, then, "Does that mean that even _I'm_ able to be strong?"

"Even you?" The Lord gazed at him for a moment, then he smiled ruefully, shaking his head. "That's a foolish question, my boy. You've never been weak in the first place, after all."

"But I'm always ill." Juushirou said sadly, chewing on his lip as he did so. "And the others can do so many things I can't do, even though they're all younger than me. People stop me - Otousama, you stop me most of all - just in case I bring on an attack. So if I'm that weak - how can I be strong enough to protect someone? Even just a little bit - there's so much I can't do."

His companion eyed him for a moment, then, without a word, he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, guiding him away from the clearing and through a knot of trees until they reached the perimeter of Ukitake land. As they stopped, Juushirou gazed at his father in confusion.

"Otousama?"

"Don't look at me." His companion shook his head, gesturing out over the rise to where Seireitei was laid out like an elaborately painted map, a mix of greens, browns and golds that seemed to stretch for miles. "Look at that instead."

"Seireitei." Juushirou's eyes widened as he absorbed the beauty that lay before him. "But...I don't understand..."

"In comparison to that, my child, we're all small. We're all weak and insignificant - yes, even the Gotei themselves." The Lord said softly. "How can any of us compare to a sight as beautiful or powerful as that, after all?"

"But I..."

"You're not weak, Juushirou." The Lord put his finger gently to the boy's lips, gently cutting off his protestations as he met his son's gaze with an earnest one of his own. "And I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way. It's not because you're weak that I've protected you. It's in the hope that you'll be strong, instead."

"In the hope that I'll be strong?" Shock flashed across Juushirou's expression, and his father nodded, getting down on his knees as he reached across to brush the tiny leaves of a nearby sapling, pushing bravely through the dirt as it reached up towards the clear blue sky.

"Last autumn, this was simply a seed." He said gently. "A tiny, insignificant seed which had nothing more to recommend itself to the world than any other speck of grime or dust on Seireitei's land. Yet here it is, now, a young plant - growing upwards towards the sun."

"Otousama?" Juushirou looked bewildered, and his companion laughed.

"To be able to grow is the first battle this seed won." He said evenly, getting carefully to his feet and resting both his hands on his son's shoulders. "Not all seeds win that battle. Several die before they even have a chance to live. But even though it won that battle, Juu-kun, it's still vulnerable. A storm or a gust of wind could rip it from the earth. A wild animal could tear it down. People could trample it, and break its grasp on life. There's still much time that needs to pass before it will be like its fellows here...strong enough to withstand the worst of the elements without needing the support of those around it."

Juushirou's eyes opened wide, and he bent down to touch the tree's tiny leaves.

"I...I hadn't thought of it like that before." He murmured.

"You're like that sapling to me, Juu-kun." The Lord said simply. "You survived the lottery of being born, and you're now growing and developing towards the sun. I know in my heart that one day you will be a proper tree with roots and trunk so sturdy none can knock you down. But right now you're still a child. You still have weaknesses and vulnerabilities. And that's why I protect you. Not because I think you're weak, but because I know, one day, you will be strong."

He smiled.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Juushirou raised his gaze, nodding his head as a faint smile touched his lips. "I think I do."

He pursed his lips, wondering whether he dared voice the question, then,

"In that case, Otousama, was Mother still just a sapling too, when I was born?" He asked hesitantly. "Was that why she didn't survive any longer...was it because she wasn't strong enough after all?"

"Oh, Juushirou..." A flash of pain touched the Lord's expression, and guilt flooded the boy's heart as he registered that even now his father loved his mother as much as he had then. He bowed hastily, his shock of dark hair flopping over his shoulder as he did so.

"I'm sorry, sir." He said contritely. "I didn't mean to say something thoughtless."

"No...no." The Lord shook his head, seeming to bring himself out of his reverie as he cast the boy a smile. "You of all people have the right to speak about Raiko, after all. She was as much part of you as I am, at the end of the day. If it's you asking, Juu-kun, there's no apology needed. Raise your head, child. I'm not upset or cross."

Hesitantly Juushirou did so, chewing on his lip once more as he eyed his father hesitantly.

"We've never talked about it before, not with you, and perhaps that's been wrong." The Lord leant up against the trunk of a nearby tree, folding his arms absently across his chest as he did so. "But you're not the first child in the Ukitake clan to be born with this choking illness. Generations back, it struck through our ancestors like a literal white plague, and many of them died. Even those who didn't weren't totally free of it - they carried the illness in their blood, and birthed children just like you."

He smiled sadly.

"Many in the clan refer to it as a curse." He added. "And perhaps it is."

Juushirou swallowed hard, gazing at his father in consternation.

"So I...I'm cursed?" He whispered. "Did that...is that...what killed Mother?"

"No." The Lord shook his head. "You see, most of the babies born with the illness don't survive their first night in the world, Juu-kun. Those of us who know such things know that a Ukitake baby who does not cry when he's born is likely one who will never cry - whose life will be as brief as a candle flame flickering out in a summer's breeze. But your Mother, she didn't accept that. She _couldn't _accept that. You were not just another Ukitake baby struck by disease, after all. You were _her_ son. To her you were the thing most precious to her - the thing she loved most of all."

He reached across to touch his son's cheek, and Juushirou could tell from the faraway look in his father's eyes that the Lord was picturing his mother even now.

"I told you that the Ukitake clan aren't like the Noble Elite, but that we still have some power deep within our hearts which we can use to ward off evil if it ever comes near." He said softly. "Even you have that power, Juu-kun. A newborn baby can't very well control that power - not even a little bit. That's why, you see, babies born sickly do not survive. Their bodies cannot handle that inborn power, and so it overwhelms them and they succumb."

Juushirou frowned

"But I...I survived?"

"That's because your mother didn't give up until she had managed to bring breath back to your body." His father said softly, in tones little more than a whisper. "That was her choice, because she loved you."

"Then it is my fault, isn't it?" Juushirou sighed heavily. "Anika always says it wasn't, but it _was_ my fault that Mother died."

"Juu-kun..."

"I don't understand why you're always so kind to me, even knowing that." Juushirou raised sad eyes to his father's, tears glittering silver on his lashes in the afternoon sun. "You've always treated me properly, sir, even though in the end I'm the child who ended Mother's life."

"No, it's not that way at all." The Lord shook his head, reaching up to gently brush the tears away. "Your mother gave you the gift of life, that's all. None of the blame lies with you. And I love you very much, no matter what. I love you because you're what your mother loved most of all. Enough to give you her strength, and help you to live."

He smiled.

"She wouldn't have regretted her choice." He added. "She has plenty to be proud of, after all."

"Do you think so?" Juushirou looked surprised, and his companion nodded.

"You are very precious to me, Juu-kun." He said softly. "Remember that. A parent will always love their child more than they love themselves, after all. What your mother did is only what any mother would do for her child. So you see, you did nothing wrong, did you?"

"I...I suppose not." Juushirou digested this slowly. "I suppose, then, all I can do is make sure that she's still able to be proud of me, if she wanted me to live that much. It must mean that she wanted me to do my best, after all. So I will. To be strong and protect the family, just like you said."

"That's my boy." The Lord grinned, though Juushirou could see tears in the older man's eyes too. "I'm glad you understand."

"But if I was born with this disease, Otousama, surely that means that, if I had children, they could be born with it too?" Juushirou realised, and his father sighed.

"That's not something we need concern ourselves with yet - such matters are a long way into the future." He said pragmatically. "For the time being, Kendou is our priority. All right? Let's leave future problems till they have to be faced, and focus instead on your physical strength."

"Yes sir." Juushirou nodded. "I think I can go again now, in any case. I don't feel tired any more."

The Lord eyed him thoughtfully.

"Your mother would always say when she was carrying you that her son was going to surprise people with his strength." He said softly. "Sometimes, when I look at you, I understand what she meant. Even though you've done scarcely any physical activities since you were small - this afternoon you've barely coughed at all, and you're already ready to try a second time. Perhaps you are stronger than I realised, even now."

He smiled ruefully.

"But then, I shouldn't be so surprised." He reflected. "After all, Raiko was Kuchiki-ke, albeit a loose, distant blood connection."

Juushirou stopped dead, staring at his companion in surprise.

"Mother was...Kuchiki-ke? Mother was...from the Great Noble Houses?"

"A distant relationship, but yes, in a manner of speaking." His father agreed. "Some several degrees removed from the elite at the Clan's core, mind you. But there's a certain steely resilience in their people that's always intrigued me. And from time to time, Juu-kun, I think I see that same steeliness in your eyes."

He shrugged.

"Imagination, perhaps." He mused. "But either way, you've shown a natural understanding of what we've begun today. If you continue that way, Juu-kun, it won't be long at all before we get some muscles on those arms of yours!"

* * *

_**Author's note:**_  
_I think Juu-kun's hair was originally black because he has dark brows.  
His eyes drive me crazy because they're animated brown, occasionally drawn green. I don't know what canon says. Hazel is my compromise. :P_


	6. 6: Kyouraku: Bitter Pride

_**Bitter Pride**_

"I want an explanation."

Shunsui stood before his Uncle's desk, a dark defiance in his deep brown eyes as he stared resolutely at the floor, making no attempt to part his lips or even acknowledge that the man had spoken. Instead he traced the lines of the floor mosaic beneath his feet, counting idly the number of colours he could make out as they blended cleverly one into the other, creating the image of the Kyouraku family crest.

Though it was lustrous and bright in its depiction, Shunsui wasn't fooled.

On the floor, under our feet, that's the best place for it to be, he thought savagely, even as he heard his companion get to his feet, crossing the floor until the two of them stood mere inches apart.

So he was going to get another flogging then. Fine. So be it. He didn't care.

"I'm speaking to you, Shunsui." The Uncle's voice was soft and gentle, yet Shunsui's ears were sharp enough to read the edge that underlined each word, and he knew that, reasonable as the conversation had been up to that point, his companion's hair-trigger temper was within an inch of letting rip.

Slowly he dragged his gaze up, meeting his Uncle's angry eyes with defiant, unrepentant ones of his own.

"I want to hear your explanation." The man said slowly, meaning in every syllable he spoke. "As to why you've skipped out on three separate morning classes this week."

"I suppose I wasn't very interested in what was being taught, Ojisama." Now Shunsui answered, speaking with as much nonchalance as he dared.

"You're a child of barely more than twelve - what makes you think you have the right or the knowledge to decide what you should or shouldn't be taught?" The Uncle demanded, grasping the boy by the shoulders and giving him a short, sharp shake. "Your job is to do as you're told - to study when you're meant to study, and understand the ways of the clan. That is your _only_ concern. Everything else should be left behind. Do you comprehend? This is what I expect from you - and I _will _get it, whether by easy or hard means."

Shunsui shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not like it matters so much as all that." He said lightly. "It's not like I'm the heir to the family, Ojisama. My _brother's_ the one who'll be head of the clan, not me. So it's really nothing to do with me. There's no point wasting time on teaching me anything, either. I'm not as smart as all that. It's worthless."

The Uncle's eyes narrowed, and for a moment Shunsui thought that he was going to strike his nephew. Inwardly he tensed, waiting for impact, but then the older man thought better of it, lowering the hand he had instinctively brought up at the boy's fresh cheek.

"_Your brother_ is nothing to do with this." He said, in controlled, forcedly pleasant tones. "We are discussing _you_, Shunsui. Not him. _You._"

"But it's still true though, isn't it?" Shunsui said matter-of-factly. "My brother is the one who'll inherit the clan. Not me. So it's a waste of time. Soon as he comes of age, too, he'll knock you off your perch and you won't be able to do anything about it either. So I don't know why you're worrying so much. It's not like any of this means anything. And I'm not cut out to be the study bug type."

His Uncle drew a deep breath into his lungs, clearly trying his best to hold back a burst of rage at his nephew's calm assessment of the situation. Shunsui met his gaze evenly, knowing that in this, at least, he was right. And that in fact, since the day he had been forcibly taken from his father's bloodstained estate, this was the one thing he had clung onto.

It was his brother, after all, not him who was now heir elect of the Kyouraku clan. And it would be his brother, not him, who would be forced to follow the pomp and ceremony of sucking up to important neighbours and getting involved in unnecessarily dangerous hero manoeuvres.

Shunsui had never met his older half-brother, for Tokutarou was six years his senior and had been sent away to train with the illustrious Shiba-ke the year before Shunsui had taken his first breath in the world. Though no one had said so directly, Shunsui had picked up enough bits and pieces from conversations he had overheard to realise that Tokutarou had been claimed by his mother's kin almost as soon as was reasonably possible after his father's remarriage. Ostensibly the reason had been to help the family 'adjust' to the changes, but Shunsui knew that it had been in order to prevent the boy from falling more heavily under the influence of his ever-failing father and his loose morals. Though Tokutarou had not made any return visits to his true clan, he had written often to Matsuhara up until his death, yet he had not acknowledged Shunsui's existence, and so far as Shunsui was concerned, he might as well have been an only child.

As the second son of the clan, Shunsui knew his position was more ornamental than of any great significance. And though for the time being his Uncle held the reins of power that brought the family together, in little over a year's time Tokutarou would come of age, with the power to overthrow his claim and grasp control of the family home and title.

Ever since he had realised this, Shunsui had liked to bring Tokutarou into the conversation at every available opportunity, observing with interest his Uncle's reactions whenever his brother was mentioned. Tokutarou was, after all, part Shiba, and Shunsui was smart enough, despite his claims, to realise that the man who had slain his father was worried about their family being swallowed up whole by the more powerful other clan and its claw-like connections.

In short, Shunsui knew he was a pawn - a potential stopping block in his Uncle's plan to prevent Tokutarou filling the Kyouraku retinue with Shiba men and women or taking revenge for the death of their father. And he both hated and resented it wholeheartedly.

No one had, after all, thought to ask him how _he_ felt.

And so far as Shunsui was concerned, Tokutarou could send the Kyouraku family directly to the pits of hell.

He had no interest himself in a clan which condoned one brother slaying the other over petty matters of power.

Even now, he had not spoken to his Uncle of what he had witnessed, six years before in his Father's study. In fact, though he had written to his mother at least once a month since their parting, he had not even told her that he had seen his Father's demise, or overheard any of the things that had been said. He had locked it away inside of him, resenting it yet not acknowledging it, as he struggled with the problem of grieving for a man who had, for most of his life, been nothing more than a stranger anyway.

One thing Shunsui did know beyond all doubt, however, was that he did not like his Uncle's high-handed way of doing things. And as a result, he had decided that if his Uncle was wrong, his Father must, in some vein or form, have been right.

After all, flawed as he might have been, Matsuhara had not killed. He was not a murderer with the blood of his brother on his hands.

And Shunsui had long since decided that if there must be another battle between brothers, he would not take his Uncle's part. If he had to face Tokutarou in such a way, he would follow his Father's example, and submit, even if it meant his death.

There was no honour, after all, in spilling the blood of a kinsman.

As the silence threatened to stretch out between them, his Uncle suddenly sighed, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"Your father was useless, but I thought at the very least your mother would have taught you basic discipline." He murmured. "I always thought her a sensible type of woman."

Shunsui bristled, anger flaring in his brown eyes at this.

"You don't know anything about my mother." He said flatly.

"You're wrong." His uncle shook his head. "Because through you and your behaviour, I see her in a very, very clear light. A doting mother who spoiled her son - I wouldn't have guessed it, but I suppose, given the way my brother abandoned her to indulge his vices..."

He frowned, his grasp tightening on Shunsui's shoulders.

"In that case, there's only one thing for me to do." He said frankly. "Threats don't affect you. Whippings only serve to make you slower about your studies and give you an excuse to indulge your laziness even more in pretence of recovery. So I will do the last thing that I can. I will withhold your mother's mail to you, until you see fit to prove to me that you are capable of doing as you are told."

Despite himself, horror flooded Shunsui's lean frame as he gazed at his Uncle in dismay.

"But..."

"I will not tolerate any argument on the matter." The Uncle shook his head. "This indulgence stops now, Shunsui. You are a Kyouraku, and it's time you understood what that means."

His eyes narrowed.

"I was just as you are - the second son of two boys." He said softly. "Just because you were born last does not mean you can't strive to be first. Remember that."

Shunsui stared at him for a moment, an angry retort burning on his lips, but with some effort he swallowed it, unwilling to let his Uncle see how bad his threat had shaken him.

"I intend to be just like my Father." He said instead, keeping his tones even as he gazed at his companion obliquely. "Because I don't think I'm going to be able to be like you, Ojisama. We're just not the same kind of people, after all."

"Your father was an alcoholic and a philanderer, Shunsui. What kind of an ambition is that, to follow in his footsteps?"

"I don't know." Shunsui shrugged casually. "I guess I just think it's better that way. That's all."

Before his Uncle could respond, he had pulled gently free of the man's grip, crossing the chamber and slipping out through the sliding door, shutting it firmly behind him. Inside, his emotions were still swirling, but somehow he kept them under wraps, sauntering nonchalantly down the hallway and even whistling softly under his breath as he passed a couple of maidservants busy sorting the family's laundry. They turned as he passed, bowing their heads towards him as he shot them a rakish grin, but at that moment he did not want conversation, and so he did not stop, raising his hand in a wave as he disappeared up the winding stairs to the chamber which had become his six years before.

Once alone inside, he dropped down onto his bed, burying his head in his pillow as he clenched his fingers tightly around the edges of the silken, finely woven blankets.

_Of all the bastard things for him to do! It's not like he even has the right to keep me here, and the only reason Mother let me go without a fight was on the understanding that we'd keep in touch. Now he's going to take that away from me too? Stupid, evil, cold-hearted man! Does he really think he can break me down, by trying to hurt me like this?_

He rolled over, gazing up at the ceiling as he allowed his anger to flood through his heart fully.

_But I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I saw what he did to Father. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that I've realised exactly what he's trying to train me for. I won't become his puppet to fight against my brother the way he fought against his. I don't care if I've never seen Tokutarou-niisama face to face before, or if he is going to sell the family out to the Shiba-ke when he comes of age. It doesn't bother me one bit. But I'm not going to be taught to fight someone I don't have any reason to hate, anyway. And even if I did hate him...well, I'm not like Ojisama. So I'm not going to kill anyone. Especially not to help __**him**__!_

He sighed, rubbing his temples.

Not for the first time over the course of the past six years, he wholeheartedly hated the concept of nobility, and all the skeletons it meant keeping in the family closet.

_I won't let him see that he bothers me, though. I won't let him know that I care if he stops me writing home or if he doesn't. _

His lips thinned as he hardened his resolve.

_I'm not going to play by his rules, no matter what ploys he thinks he can try on me._

He dragged himself to his feet, glancing at his reflection in the mirror as he ran his fingers loosely through his tousled brown hair.

_Being nobility means people can be taken out and no one does anything about it because it's for the good of the clan. If that's really what's good for the clan, I don't want to be a part of it. I want to be a million miles away from all of this...but there's nowhere to go. Nowhere you can hide, when you're born to one of the Eight Families. Everyone knows just by looking at you...there's no escape.  
_  
He groaned, shaking his head as if to clear it.

_Just one more year, though, till my brother is old enough to take control of the family. And when he does...dammit, when he does, I'm going to make him think I'm the most useless brother he could possibly have wished for. I'm going to make him think that I'm so hopeless that he sends me far, far away from the core of the clan...and then, maybe, I'll be able to live my life my way. Just like Father wanted to. Before he was killed._

He pursed his lips.

_Only I won't make Mother cry in the way he did.  
_  
"Shunsui-sama? Shunsui-sama, are you within?"

The voice of one of the hall staff alerted him to the fact he had company, and his gaze flitted to the sliding door, anxiety in his expression as he realised he was probably about to be dragged either to the classroom or back to his Uncle's office to hear more strictures on his lackadaisical behaviour. To think was to act, however, and as the man knocked again, Shunsui grabbed the expensive sheet from off his bed, rolling it swiftly into a rope as he flung back the shutters on his window, judging the drop down to the ground below in a split-second. Even as he heard the servant call his name a second time, the sheet end was firmly looped around the hinge of the shutter, and Shunsui had deftly slipped down into the gardens below, giving the makeshift escape rope a gentle tug to bring it loose and close the shutters once more with a resounding bang.

He frowned, eying his escape route thoughtfully for a moment.

He'd have to think of something better for next time, since the sound of the clattering shutter was only likely to bring attention on his method of escape. Still, for now, he was free of his room, and he dropped the sheet on the ground, slipping away through the undergrowth through the network of pathways and short-cuts he had mapped out impeccably in his mind's eye. Though by nature he disliked having to hurry in any regard, there was some small satisfaction in knowing that he was evading his Uncle's attempts to bring him to heel, and before long he had reached the old boat-house which had become his second home since his sentence had begun.

With all the deft confidence of an almost teenager, Shunsui scaled the back wall of the old building, settling himself on the flat of the roof as he sat back on his hands, gazing up through the tall trees that surrounded the location to the narrow, vivid blue of the sky above.

He'd bought himself another couple of hours, he knew, for the house staff were unimaginative and would spend far too much time scouring the land immediately around the outside of the house before realising he had headed further afield. With a sigh, he relaxed back properly, watching the faint wisps of cloud as they drifted lazily across the heavens.

_I wish I was like that, easy and free and able to move at my own pace. It's such a pain, being here. It's such a damn pain, when everything I do has to be calculated just to get a break away from his plotting and his strictures._

He let out a heavy sigh.  
_  
I shouldn't have to work so hard at doing nothing. It ruins the whole point. I hate being part of this family. I hate it!_

"That's a big sigh, Shun-kun."

A fresh voice startled him and he turned, meeting the mischievous gaze of a teenage girl peering over the edge of the roof, messy dark hair falling haphazardly over her shoulders and an impish glint in her black eyes. At his surprise, her grin widened, and she hauled herself up beside him, tut-tutting as she gazed down at her companion.

"You're slipping." She scolded him. "You didn't hear me coming, this time."

"I wasn't really listening." Shunsui relaxed back against the roof, shrugging his shoulders carelessly. "It's not that I'm slipping, more that it was too much effort to pay attention to your scrabbling about, Saku-chan."

"Well, whatever suits, I suppose." Saku settled herself down more comfortably, glancing at him then up at the sky. "What are you doing? Aside from nothing, as usual."

"I'm good at doing nothing, so I like to make sure I get plenty of practice." Shunsui responded lazily. "What about you? Did your father let you out early, or did you escape from confinement, just like me?"

"Unlike the blue-blooded among us, Shun-kun, some of us don't hate the people we live with." Came the sparky rejoinder. "And I just finished helping him fit out the barn. So now it won't leak when it rains."

"Sounds like a lot of bother to me."

"I'm sure it does." Saku agreed. "You rich bocchan types don't get your hands dirty enough to know what a good day's work is like, after all."

"Mm. Something like that." Shunsui nodded.

"Did you have another fight with your Uncle, then?" Saku demanded, and Shunsui shrugged.

"Nothing new." He said dismissively. "He wants me to go to my classes. I'm not really interested. Same old story."

"I really don't understand, sometimes, why you don't at least let him kick some knowledge into you." Saku reflected. "A lot of kids would kill to have the kind of education you're skiving off, you know. It's not right, somehow, that way around."

"If those kids want it, they're welcome to it. It's not my thing." Shunsui pulled himself into a sitting position, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not interested in Ojisama's ideas on education. I'd much rather hang out here with you."

"Sometimes I wonder if you spend time with me just because if your Uncle found out, he'd blow a fuse." Saku admitted. "It's hard to know what you're thinking sometimes, Shun-kun. Whether you even know I'm there or not, sometimes, when we're talking like this."

"Not know that you're there?" Shunsui looked surprised. Then he laughed, shaking his head. "Saku-chan, you're the only person I properly speak to here. Just because I'm lazy and stupid doesn't mean you can pick on me, you know. That's what's not fair, after all. You're too pretty for me to find a good comeback."

"And you're pretty cocky for a twelve year old." Saku retorted neatly. "Besides, as for lazy and stupid, you may be the first but you're not the other. You might fool other people, but you don't fool me."

"That's Saku-neechan for you." Shunsui said absently, and Saku shook her head slowly.

"You really are a lot too cocky for a twelve year old." She reflected, and Shunsui shrugged, sudden mischief entering his dark brown eyes.

"I'm thirteen soon." He said softly. "And thirteen is almost fourteen, which is the same age as you are. So I'm catching you up, aren't I, Neechan?"

"Hah. Not even close." Saku shook her head firmly. "You've a long way to go, Mr Precocious, before you're even close to catching me up."

"Well, you'll just have to teach me, won't you?" Shunsui said casually. "I'm sure I'd be a much better student, after all, if you were my sensei."

"Enough!" Saku held up her hands. "Stop talking rubbish you're too young to understand. All right? I hate it when you're like this. I don't know what to do with you."

"That's a pity, because you look pretty today." Shunsui shrugged his shoulders. "And if you don't teach me things, Saku, who's going to? That poe-faced old Uncle of mine? Not likely. I'm counting on you - are you going to let your good friend down?"

Saku sighed, shaking her head.

"Today's fight was obviously a bad one." She reflected shrewdly, getting to her feet. "But I'm tired, Shun-kun, and I'm not going to play with you today. I'm going to walk by the lake a while, all right? When you stop being silly, you're welcome to join me - but I don't want to have to deal with your messing around. Okay?"

With that she was gone, and Shunsui pursed his lips, watching her disappearing towards the lake with a pensive frown.

Even he did not fully understand it, the urge to tease and tweak at Saku's composure and the amusement he felt when she blushed or showed her embarrassment. When they had first met, he had not felt that way at all, but now he knew that Saku intrigued him, just as the maids at the estate sometimes intrigued him. Yet Saku was something else - something beyond his grasp.

He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

Perhaps, in the end, it was just his failing - wanting to reach out for the things he could not have.

But what exactly the appeal was, he did not know. All he did know was that Saku had it, and his Uncle did not. And that, given a choice in the matter, he would happily have spent all day in Saku's company rather than an hour in his Uncle's office, listening to him drone about the ties of family, duty and honour.

He got to his feet, carefully negotiating the climb down from the boathouse roof as he headed slowly into the woodland beyond, following in the direction his young friend had gone.

Even if he didn't know yet what it was he couldn't have, or what it was about Saku that had begun to fascinate him so strongly, he knew that she was a much more interesting prospect than arithmetic or history.

With that thought in mind, he slipped through the trees, hurrying to join his companion.

"Saku-chan, I'm coming too!" He called, as she stopped to wait for him, a question in his eyes. "I've nothing else to do this afternoon - let's go!"

-------

_**Author's Note:**_

_Is anyone else irritated by the character naming list in the Bleach category? Why is Ukitake listed surname first then initial and Kyouraku with his first name and last initial? I'm not really a fan of westernising Japanese names, but at least stick to either one method or the other, right..._

_Perhaps its because "Juushirou" and "Kyouraku" can be romanised in several ways, whereas "Ukitake" and "Shunsui" can't, really...and they're playing it safe.  
_

_Although that doesn't explain why Ukitake's name is spelt Ukitate.  
_

_Maybe someone needs to beta the character choices, too :Z_

_**On the subject of romanisation...**_

  
_Because I know there are so many thousand (exaggeration) versions of the boys' names online, I've been half waiting for someone to try and correct my spellings (lol). It hasn't happened yet, but I'll take this opportunity to explain it anyway. (People may already have noticed it in Rain Dragon with Ishida Uryuu, in any case).  
_

_I've always romanised exactly as a word would be written in hiragana. (The only exceptions to this rule are the sha/shu/sho/ja/ju/jo sounds, because although they're written shi + ya, shi + yu etc, the Japanese pronounce them as "shu" "ju" etc not "shyu" "jyu"). Otherwise, if a word has a long vowel, I write out the vowel. For example, Kyouraku's name is written in hiragana with the characters KYO-U-RA-KU. （_きょうらく）_. Juushirou's first name is spelt JYU-U-SHI-RO-U_ (じゅうしろう）_. The Japanese often romanise their own words in several ways too._

In Japanese there are a lot of words which, where you change the length of the vowel, you get a whole other word (eg. yuki - snow, yuuki - courage). These extra vowels are pronounced almost as separate syllables, so they do matter. Having seen far too many romanisations where the long vowel is omitted but no indication given that it should be there - I grew to dislike them being omitted from the actual text. 

_All the various ways of spelling their names in roman characters aren't incorrect (providing the long vowels are correctly indicated, of course!). I just prefer this way because it makes the most sense to me :)_

_So yes, to get back on the topic..._

_Something terrible is going to happen in the next chapter. You've been warned :P_


	7. 7: Ukitake: Hollow Dawn

_**Hollow Dawn**_

The forest was peaceful that evening.

Juushirou scrambled carefully up between the uneven rocks that marked out the well-worn pathway, humming a soft tune under his breath as he made his way to the clearing where, two years earlier, he and his father had first begun the tentative forays into Kendou training. Since then, he had come to the woodland many times, sometimes to practice on his own out of sight of overly protective house staff, and at other times simply to sit on the ledge that looked out over Seireitei to marvel at the different colours the different seasons painted his homeworld.

As he stepped through the last cluster of trees, he caught sight of the small sapling which, two summers earlier, had been just bravely showing its first tiny leaves.

A smile touched Juushirou's lips as he crouched down before the small tree, reaching out to touch its thin trunk with the index finger of his right hand. It was still small compared to its companions, but it had grown almost threefold over the course of the changing seasons, thriving in the soft glen where rain and sun were both in plentiful supply.

_Just like Otousama said, in the end. A seed becomes a sapling, and little by little, a sapling becomes a tree._

Juushirou sat back on his heels, regarding the infant tree thoughtfully.

_I wonder if I'm any closer to becoming a tree yet. Since I began Kendou, my chest hasn't been as problematic as it used to be. Since Father spoke to me about Mother, I've felt less ill at ease about that situation, too. It's almost like now I feel her watching over me in some way. And somehow it's like Father's always said. Her life force is making me stronger. It's helping me break the curse._

He got to his feet, his fingers brushing the smooth wooden stick at his waist for a moment before he pulled it from its resting place, glancing at it pensively.

Even with all the practice he had given the art over the course of the past two years, he was still only about at the same standard as his younger brother, and something about this fact rankled against his pride. Hiroyuki was, after all, a good eighteen months his junior. And he, Juushirou was the family's clan heir, the one with distant Kuchiki blood running through his veins...the one who was going to protect his family in the future. He had to be stronger. And the only way to do that was to practice harder.

If Juushirou was honest with himself, however, a large part of his resolve was that he relished the freedom to at last be able to engage in some kind of physical activity. Having been shielded from so much for so long, he had thrown his heart and soul into learning every one of the positions and strikes that his father had taught him, building up his endurance little by little until he knew now he could hold his combat position for a good hour and a half without feeling as though he was going to cough. Though he was wise enough to know there was no cure for the Ukitake family curse, Juushirou had begun to hope that he could at least overcome it -pushing it to the back of his concerns until the attacks that he so loathed were nothing more than a rare and spasmodic occurrence.

_Father wanted me to get strong, and I'm sure it was because he knew, if I did, I could fight it._

He stiffened his stance, preparing himself for a warm up run through of short, sharp parries and strikes into the clear mountain air.

_If I did, then I'd be able to move past it. That's why he said not to worry about things in the future, but only about things as they come._

He took a deep breath, steadying his breathing in the way that he had learnt put the least pressure on his scarred lung tissue, and then he raised his stick once again.

_Because in the future, I'll be different. In the future, I'll be able to fight for longer. I'll be able to be stronger. It won't matter, then, being the one with the family plague._

He thrust the stick forward against the lower branch of one of the nearby trees, watching in satisfaction as the bough shook, dropping leaves to the ground under the force of his blow. He paused for a moment, then bowed his head towards the immense plant.

"Thank you for the fight." He said properly, knowing that his opponent would not respond to him, but feeling the need to do things correctly in any case. They were grown trees, after all...things which had survived the battle of life, and therefore things he ought to treat with the utmost respect. In his Father's absence, therefore, many of the ancient local trees had become his impromptu sparring partners as he strove to put more and more endurance into his skinny body.

He moved across the clearing, pausing to gaze out across Seireitei once more as he did so. From that vantage point, almost the whole of the soul's land spread out before him, even to the walls that divided his home from the mysteries of Rukongai that lay beyond. Even now, Juushirou did not fully understand what kind of life the people in Rukongai lived. Kamikura had taught him little more about the place since that classroom lesson his Father had interrupted several years before. All he really knew was that the souls that lived outside the wall were different from the ones within, and as he squinted into the distance, trying to make out anything beyond the divide, Juushirou realised that this more than anything intrigued him. Why were those souls forbidden to enter Seireitei? Why could they not live the same way as he and his family did? Was it because of what Kamikura had told him - that they weren't a part of Seireitei in the beginning, and so never could be, after all?

A sudden chill on the air made him shiver, wishing that he'd remembered to bring a cloak as a cold wind blew through the clearing, piercing right through his kimono to the fragile body beneath. With a sigh he scooped up his Kendou stick once more, realising that if the weather was beginning to change, he would do better returning home. After all, he knew, a slight chill could turn into something much more serious, and he wasn't willing to risk putting his progress in jeopardy by letting himself in for one of his attacks.

It was Spring yet, after all. There was time before the sun would properly heat the landscape and provide long, temperate days in which he could fully hone his skills.

As he turned back towards the path that led to home, something else assailed his senses, and he stopped dead, a sudden sense of unease creeping up inside of him as he felt the hairs on the back of his neck beginning to rise. Where, a moment earlier, he had felt completely safe and secure within his training retreat, he now felt as though something was stifling him, and despite the fact it was only mid-afternoon, the sky above the treetops had begun to grow darker, blurring the pathway in front of him and making him doubt his instincts.

What was it, then? A sudden Spring storm?

But Juushirou knew it wasn't a storm. Ever since he had been an infant, he had never yet been afraid of thunder or lightning. Yet this blackness, whatever it was, had sent a heavy wave of fear rushing through his young body, weighing down on his heart and clasping itself almost around the boy's throat as he struggled to make sense of what he was feeling.

Then, from the ledge behind him, he heard a terrible, blood-curdling roar.

His blood almost freezing in his veins, Juushirou swung around, his eyes widening in horror and alarm as, in the growing gloom he made out the shape of something large and unwieldy, something which in his fourteen years he had never happened to set eyes on, yet in that instant, he knew exactly what it was.

A Hollow.

For a moment, terror ruled Juushirou's young body, rooting him to the spot as the huge beast turned its glittering eyes on him, letting out another soul-chilling shriek. Slowly it began to shift its immense, heavy claws forward, making the whole of the landscape tremble as it drew itself closer and closer to Juushirou's shaking form. As the monster approached him, plants and bushes were crushed in its wake, and something stabbed through Juushirou's young heart as he saw the sapling which he and his father had so often tended snapped in two like a mere dead twig under the monster's leathery paws.

This was enough to break the spell over Juushirou's young body and, as though his fear had given wings to his feet he turned on his heel, fleeing into the forest as fast as he could go. He did not know where he was going, his sense of direction overruled by his instinct to put as much distance between him and the Hollow as he possibly could, and from behind him he could feel the vibrations of the beast's footsteps, the suffocating stench of its aura still pervading his senses.

He did not know how long he ran for, or how far into the forest he had gone. But at length his chest could stand no more, and he collapsed down against the gnarled trunk of an old willow tree, gasping air into his lungs as he struggled to compose himself. The Hollow was not far away, he knew, even now, and fear pierced through him once again as he realised that the beast had come after him specifically. Their encounter had not been random, but deliberate - for some reason that he did not understand, the masked creature had sought him out in particular, and was in no mood to give up his pursuit just because Juushirou had run out of breath to run.

As the sound of the splintering tree trunks and heavy footsteps grew ever closer, Juushirou swallowed hard, knowing he did not have even a single scrap of energy left inside of him to flee with.

Was he going to die here, then? After everything, was he going to be consumed by one of these monsters, right here in the middle of his family's own land?

At that moment the Hollow broke into the clearing, roaring its intentions with a deafening screech that rattled through Juushirou's eardrums and beyond to the core of his brain. As the beast bore down on him, Juushirou clenched his fists, staring up at it in fear and dismay as he prepared for the monster to sweep its terrible claws across his throat, devouring his soul in one easy fell swoop.

As he did so, however, something surged up inside of him, ripping through his body with relentless, unforgiving force and he gasped at the sensation, suddenly feeling as though his entire body had been set on fire. As the sensation grew stronger, his vision began to blur before his eyes, pain stabbing through his chest and his throat as he felt the all too familiar sensation of blood rushing up through his vocal chords and into his mouth, spilling past his lips as he struggled to even breathe through the intensity of the spasm. He closed his eyes, willing for it to stop, but instead it grew stronger, pushing up and up into the air around and for the briefest of moments the Hollow seemed to falter, stopping a few feet from the hunched, pain-wracked form of the teenage boy as if he could get no closer.

"Juu-kun!"

The voice sounded so far away to Juushirou's ears, as though it had come from somewhere near the edge of reality, but faintly he was aware of something coming between him and the masked monster, a shadow falling over his huddled body.

"Get away from him!"

Now the voice was enough to bring Juushirou back to his wits a little, and he gazed up in disbelief, making out the outline of his father's strong form somewhere in the blur that currently formed his vision. He opened his lips as though to speak, but nothing more than a croak would come out, and every breath he took burned and scalded through his lungs as though, somehow, every single cell within his chest had been burst by the force of whatever had rushed through him. Too weak and confused to even move, Juushirou could only watch as his father shielded him, the man's frame stiff and resolute as he held up his hands to the beast.

"_Shakka-hou_!" He exclaimed, and before Juushirou's disbelieving gaze, a flare of red fire shot forth from his father's hands, hitting the Hollow square in the chest and knocking it backwards. It screamed as if burnt, swinging its immense claws around and catching the nobleman across his torso, tearing through the fabric of the Lord's kimono and through to the flesh beneath. Juushirou heard his Father's cry of pain as though it had been struck deep within his own heart, yet although he tried to struggle forward to help, he was no longer in control of his own body.

"_ Soukatsui!_"

Somehow the Lord gathered himself, firing another blast towards the Hollow then, before the beast could recover itself, he had dropped down at Juushirou's side, clasping his helpless son to his blood-soaked chest and clutching him tightly.

"Don't worry." He gasped, his voice hoarse yet reassuring to Juushirou's wrenched senses. "I'll get you home. Don't worry, Juu-kun. It's going to be okay."

Juushirou was beyond responding, even as his Father closed his eyes, seemingly pulling them through time and space and back to the family estate. As the Lord set his burden down on the ground, he drew a deep breath into his lungs, reaching out to brush the blood from his son's lips with a Kidou-charred finger.

"You...pushed yourself...a little too hard, didn't you." He murmured. "But...you're safe...now."

"Otousama!" The door of the house swung open to reveal Hiroyuki, who darted forward, anxiety in his young gaze. "Juu-nii? What happened? Why are you covered in blood? What...?"

"A Hollow. In the forest." The Lord's words were getting more and more strained, his breaths coming in shorter and shorter gasps and distantly Juushirou was aware that the pool of blood around his Father's body was steadily increasing moment by moment. In contrast, his skin was an almost deathly pale hue, and Juushirou felt a sense of dread seeping through his severed senses.

"Otousama?" He croaked, and his Father glanced at him, shaking his head.

"Don't speak." He ordered. "It'll be all right, Juu-kun."

Somehow, Juushirou knew from the way his Father met his eyes that it was going to be far from all right, yet he did not have either the strength or the coherence to respond.

"Hiro, go inside and tell your...Mother what's...happened. Get Anika for Juushirou, and...and...tell Kamikura to...to go to the Kuchiki manor. Tell them...a Hollow...attacked Raiko's son."

Hiroyuki stared at his father for a moment. Then, as if appreciating the gravity of the situation, he hurried back inside, leaving Juushirou once more alone with his father.

"Your strength isn't ready...to be used against...monsters like that." The Lord spoke softly, as though he no longer had the ability to put any force or volume into his words. "And I'm sorry, Juu-kun. That this family's curse means...using it...can hurt you so much."

"Otousama..." Juushirou swallowed hard, feeling dizzy and nauseous. "What...you...are you..."

"Shh." His father shook his head. "Don't. It's all right."

Juushirou gazed at his companion, and from somewhere deep in his scattered consciousness, one realisation began to stir itself within his heart. Just as he'd felt his own strength surge up inside of him when the Hollow had attacked, now he felt his Father's slowly seeping away, and this truth sent waves of fear spinning through him.

His Father had taken a fatal injury.

He had taken on a Hollow, used skills that Juushirou had not understood, and had taken a wound protecting him that would not heal.

His brave Father had shielded him, but even his Father, who had seemed indestructible, was not equal to fighting a Hollow.

And he himself had been useless.

He himself had been_ cursed_.

And because of it, his Father had sacrificed his life.

Tears glittered on his lashes, and he bit his lip, letting them trickle down his cheeks.

"Just...like...Mother." He whispered. "I'm sorry. I...I really...am...cursed."

With that his strength gave out, his eyes fluttering closed as darkness and fever rushed in to take control of his senses. The last thing he was aware of, as he sank deep into oblivion, was the final, fluctuating tremors of his father's reiatsu, as it too dissipated into almost nothing at all.

Then Juushirou's mind was full of only blackness, as dark as the sky from which the Hollow had come.

* * *

  
**Author's Note:**  
_  
Happy New Year everyone and thank you for the ongoing support!_

Yeah, I know, it's not ending the year on a high note. Gomen...but at least it has dramatic effect...??

See you all in 2009 :D


	8. 8: Kyouraku: Childhood Innocence

_**Childhood Innocence**_

"You know, for a rich bocchan, Shun-kun, you're not bad at scaling trees."

Saku sat back against the sturdy trunk, sending her companion an amused grin as she gazed upwards into the heavy branches over her head. From his vantage perch, Shunsui stared down at her, mischief in his dark eyes as he casually shrugged his shoulders.

"Hiding in trees is something the son of a Kyouraku noble disdains." He said firmly, in a startlingly accurate imitation of his Uncle's stiff, unyielding tones. "Therefore I have studied the art to perfection, as you can see."

Saku burst out laughing, getting to her feet and brushing the stray leaf litter from her rough clothing as she did so.

"You sounded scarily like Kyouraku-sama just then." She remarked. "Though you ought to be more careful. If he hears you, you'll be in for a whipping, won't you? Especially if he finds you've been clambering round the forest like a wild boy in his absence."

"He's been particularly tense of late." Shunsui agreed, sprawling out on his stomach as he gazed down at her pensively. "Twitchy and on edge, so I've done my best to avoid contact with him except where absolutely necessary. I've learnt to drown out the lectures about my studies at the dinner table – that aside, I don't usually see him more than briefly during a full day."

He kicked his legs idly against the tree trunk as he did so.

"He knows that bringing me here was a mistake, and he's said so a few times, too." He added casually. "He's stopped forcibly dragging me to the schoolroom and locking me inside with the tutors, too, so perhaps he's given up on trying to educate me to his way of thinking. I do hope so, in any case. It's a lot too much hard work, right now, slipping out and spending time to myself."

"The irony of it being that you probably work harder at evading his attention than you ever have at gaining it." Saku snorted. "But if he thinks it's such a mistake, why has he kept you here? When we first met, Shun-kun, you were a brat of six or seven. Now you're fourteen – surely eight years is a long enough time to regret and repair whatever he thought he was doing when he brought you to his estate."

"Are you saying you want rid of me?" Shunsui pouted, and Saku pulled a face, shaking her head.

"You know I don't." She said frankly, her tones no less matter-of-fact than usual, but Shunsui's sharp eyes picked up the faint pink that touched her cheeks at his question. "But I know you're not happy here, and I know he's kept you away from your Mother. Considering that, if he's starting to regret it, why doesn't he send you home? _I_ might not want rid of you, but _he_ evidently does."

"He never really wanted me in the first place." Shunsui swung himself round, descending neatly to the ground and casting her a grin. "He didn't take me because of that, after all. The Noble Families are a ton more twisted and messed up than you know, Saku-chan. It's all to do with clan politics and dynasty and power struggles between family. Nothing to do with affection or anything like that."

"I always thought it was because your father died, that he took you in." Saku reflected, reaching up to pluck a stray leaf from Shunsui's un-groomed, wavy mop of brown hair. "Honestly, to look at you, no one would ever believe you were a blood-descendant of the previous Kyouraku Lord. You look more like someone who's been running between villages as an errand boy. If it wasn't that the clothes you're wearing are woven from expensive fabric…"

"And torn in places, too, from the tree." Shunsui glanced at himself with a grimace, fingering a fresh rent across the folds of his shirt. "Uncle will catch on, if he sees that."

"That's simple enough to solve." Saku slipped her hand through his, offering him a conspiratorial smile. "I'll fix it for you. Come back with me, all right? It won't take long to stitch up, and I can do it neatly, I promise."

"All right." Shunsui looked relieved. "If you don't mind. I'd rather he didn't know where I was going when I slip out of the house – it would be inconvenient if he found out my hiding places."

"Well, it would be inconvenient for both of us." Saku said frankly. "Your Uncle might be strict where you're concerned, but he has done a lot for my family, after all."

"He has?" Shunsui paused in the prodding of the tear, staring at her in surprise. "In what way?"

"Idiot." Saku cuffed him gently across the back of the head. "Why do you think we're here, anyhow? Living on Kyouraku land? We're not kinsfolk, and we're not employed by the main manor in any especial way."

"I hadn't ever thought about it that much." Shunsui admitted. "I know your mother passed away, and that you moved because your Father needed to find a more stable market for his skills. But I didn't know it had a connection to Uncle. I didn't realise he had anything to do with it at all. After all, it's not like your family are from Rukongai. You're from Seireitei, like me."

"Well, I don't know his feelings on the subject." Saku admitted. "I've never seen him face to face, let alone asked him questions about his politics. But when Mother was sick, Father spent all of the family's savings on physicians and medicines to help her as much as he could. Plus he lost work because he was nursing her and looking after me, too. So when she died, we had pretty much nothing to fall back on."

"And Uncle helped you?" Shunsui's eyes became huge, and Saku nodded.

"Father petitioned him and he accepted the petition." She agreed. "Father does a certain amount of craftwork for the Kyouraku-ke here, and in return we have housing and stability. When I'm eighteen, I'll probably go into service at the estate, too – at least, that's always been the plan. Father refused to let me go in earlier and be broken by the work – but in a year or two's time I'll probably be taking up working myself."

Shunsui's eyes narrowed as he digested this, and for a while they walked in silence back towards the building Saku and her father had called home for the past seven and a half years.

"I suppose it helps a man who stole his title to be generous to the people whose lives he's taken control of." He murmured at length. "But I don't suppose he ever did it out of kindness. It's because he has to, that's all. Because he's a Kyouraku and he's taken the Clan leadership. This area of Seireitei is Kyouraku land. And perish the thought that we'd drop in the eyes of our neighbours by refusing to help a citizen in distress."

Saku gazed at him for a moment, then she sighed.

"Sometimes you say the most horrible things, Shun-kun." She murmured. "And you don't seem like a child at all, then."

"They're not horrible. They're true." Shunsui defended himself. "And fourteen isn't as much of a child as six or twelve, either."

"It's still two years shy of my sixteen." Saku reminded him. "And besides, it's the truth in them that make them so horrible. But I don't like thinking of Father and I as forced charity done as a publicity stunt to boost the Kyouraku name. I'd like to believe there was some kindness in it. After all, you're his blood kin, and you can be kind."

"I'm nothing like my Uncle." Shunsui said firmly.

"You said he was agitated of late." Saku reflected, pushing open the door and ushering him inside the small yet neatly decorated home. "Stand there and don't break anything – I'll find a needle and thread and I'll fix you where you are, so don't even _think _about undressing."

Shunsui, whose fingers had already drifted to the ties of his clothing paused in mid movement, sending her a sheepish glance.

"You said that without even looking at me." He objected. "Do you have such a negative opinion of me after all then, Saku-chan?"

"No, just that of all the young men in this area, you're the one I need to keep my wits about with most of all." Saku turned, shooting him a playful grin. "You might be fourteen, Shun-kun, but I know how that mind of yours is working. There's no innocence in it, even if you'd like me to believe there is."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Shunsui leant idly up against the wall, folding his arms loosely across his chest as he met her gaze easily. Saku laughed, shaking her head slightly in amusement, then disappearing into a back room to find what she was looking for.

Left alone, Shunsui's own lips twitched into a grin.

It was fun, after all, spending time with Saku.

It had begun as a simple friendship – the kindness of a local girl to a tearful young boy ripped away from his mother and his home by a cold, unsympathetic man. Through his time at his Uncle's manor, Shunsui had come to look on Saku as his friend and his confidant – even, sometimes, his sister. Yet over the course of the past year, even that had undeniably changed.

Saku was no longer his sister. Saku had become something more. And these days, he never called her 'Oneechan'.

She had grown up well, he reflected absently, picturing in his mind's eye her sleek, wavy dark hair, her indigo violet eyes and the easy and natural curves of her body when she moved. She was not skinny and stiff like the woman his Uncle hired to keep the housemaids in check, nor was she dumpy and broad like the woman who cooked his and his Uncle's meals and who had always insisted on calling him 'Shunsui-bocchama', no matter how many times he had objected. Saku was not like either of these women. Saku was young and full of life, beautiful yet somehow there was nothing delicate or remote in that beauty. It was as though she sparkled with life, Shunsui had often thought. That in her eyes, the light he saw there was freedom, and being in its glow had somehow become intoxicating.

Nobody had ever explained such things to him. On the contrary, his Uncle had steered clear of the subject of women, ensuring that his nephew's strict education regime was overseen entirely by male tutors of age and rank considered trustworthy enough not to lead the impressionable youth astray. Even the female maids and house staff had been forbidden from spending time alone around the growing youngster – and though he had not been able to pinpoint it entirely, Shunsui felt certain that at the root of it had been his Uncle's deep contempt for his brother Matsuhara.

The meaning of words such as 'licentious' and 'philanderer' had never been fully explained in Shunsui's presence, and he had never managed to find enough time or energy to look them up for himself. But he had deduced enough to realise they were aspects of his father's character, and aspects that his Uncle found offensive.

To Shunsui's young, resentful mind, this suggested they were values to be properly explored. And by indulging in Saku's company as often as possible, he already felt he had learnt far more than he ever had in a dusty classroom with an aging, droning male teacher.

However, he was still only fourteen. And though he had never been fooled by his Uncle's motives towards him, he had deliberately not questioned his reasons for enjoying Saku's company so deeply. In some ways, he knew, the answer to that question was complicated and problematic, so, in his characteristic way, he had preferred to take the easy path, simply leaving the thoughts unanswered.

Saku was the person he trusted, after all, and that was as much as he needed.

"All right. I got it." At that moment the subject of his thoughts re-emerged, needle and thread in hand. "Stand still, Shun-kun, else I'll prick you and you'll have blood staining that fine cloth as well as my stitches."

"That's a nice thing to say." Shunsui objected, nonetheless standing more firmly upright. "Is that how you treat your close friend, Saku-chan? I'm hurt."

"You will be, if you carry on." Saku warned him. "Don't twitch, all right? You're at least as tall as me, now, too, so you can make sure you keep your eyes at their proper level. The excuse that my chest happens to be in your line of sight won't work now – since your growth spurt last spring, you've shot up."

Her gaze narrowed.

"And no trying to look down my clothing, either." She warned. "I know you're a virtual prisoner here and I know I'm about the only female you ever come into contact with – but some things are above and beyond the call of friendship, Shun-kun, and I'm not your life teacher."

"It would be more fun if you were." Shunsui sighed. "All right. I was only teasing you, anyway. I think you're pretty, Saku-chan. It's not bad manners to think a girl is pretty, is it?"

"Depending what comes next, I suppose not." Saku eyed him wryly. "Don't play the innocence card, Shun-kun. I told you. I'm fixing your shirt. That's all."

"You're really mean, you know." Shunsui reflected. "I haven't said or done anything, yet you're all suspicious around me today. You're no fun this way, Saku-chan. You're as agitated as Uncle – and it ruins your pretty face."

"Now you're doing it again, trying to be the Casanova." Saku rolled her eyes, but the pink tint was back in her cheeks, and Shunsui felt a sense of satisfaction swell up inside of him that he'd managed to provoke such a reaction. "No one ever told me noble sons were this much trouble, you know – no wonder your Uncle locks you up. Otherwise the housemaids probably wouldn't be safe from your games."

"I'm not interested in them. I only have eyes for you, Saku-chan." Shunsui grinned mischievously, and she glared at him, stabbing the needle purposefully through the fabric until it pricked against his skin.

"Ouch!"

"I warned you." Saku said unrepentantly. "Behave, or else."

"I'm behaving!" Shunsui objected, though there was humour in his gaze. "It's just that I like how you are when I say things like that. That's all. S'why I do it. Because it's too much fun."

Saku sighed heavily.

"Maybe your Uncle does have the short end of the stick, after all."

"Uncle's frustrated with me, but I'm not the reason he's wound up like a top at the moment." Shunsui shook his head. "It's not me he's worrying about at all. It's Tokutarou-niisama that's got him concerned."

"Tokutarou…niisama?" Saku stared at him, and Shunsui nodded.

"Yes. My older brother."

"I didn't even know you had one." Saku looked accusing. "You've never mentioned him before."

"Well, there wasn't a need, since I've never met him." Shunsui said casually. "His Mother was Shiba-ke, so he went to live with them when she died. Uncle's had a bee in his bonnet about it a while, it seems. S'why he wanted me. Because he figures the Shiba-ke are going to try and take over the Kyouraku land and clan, if Tokutarou-niisama is able to come of age and take control of the clan. But he's running out of time, see. Father's death meant that Tokutarou-nii was too young to take charge. So Uncle did. But when Tokutarou-nii is twenty, the rest of the clan will want him to take control. And that means Uncle will be out of luck."

"So he took you for insurance?"

"No. I'm pretty sure he took me as a weapon." Shunsui said calmly. "Except I don't want to fight my brother over anything. Even if he is a stranger to me. I'm not interested in the Kyouraku family title or estate or any of that. It's too much work and I don't like my Uncle's way of doing things."

He sighed.

"Tokutarou-nii's birthday is sometime soon. This week, I think." He added. "Then things will start to happen. And Uncle knows it too."

"You sound almost as though you're looking forward to it."

"So long as I don't have to play a walk-on part, I guess I am." Shunsui admitted. "They're all strangers to me, in any case. And I've no real tie to the clan, after all. It's not like with you, Saku-chan. You and your Father are close. I barely knew mine. I'm no longer able to write to Mother, and I never met my brother. It's a different kind of world – and I'm happy enough keeping out of it."

"I won't pretend I understand." Saku admitted, finishing her stitching and breaking the thread with her teeth. "But you're done, now. Just be careful, okay? I've sewn it neatly, but it won't take a lot of strain."

"It looks fine." Shunsui shot her a grin. "Thank you, Saku-chan. I owe you one."

"You owe me several, but I'm used to that by now." Saku teased him. "Well? Do you have to get back to the house or shall we walk down by the lake a while? Father's not due back till sunset, and I've done my chores this morning, so there's nothing for me to worry over."

"The lake sounds good to me." Shunsui agreed. "Maybe we could go swimming."

"Maybe not." Saku said firmly. "Just walk, will you?"

"Fine." Shunsui held up his hands in mock-surrender. "You lead, I'll follow."

"The other way around seems a better idea." Saku teased him, pulling him out of the door and down the pathway that led down to the sparkling lake that fell within the Kyouraku grounds. "So your brother will come here, then? Tokutarou-sama, you said? And what, he'll try and take back the clan?"

"He might challenge Uncle for it, and if Uncle resists, there might be a fight." Shunsui agreed.

"A proper one? Swords and all?"

"Mm. Something like that." Shunsui's eyes shadowed. "It happens, in noble families. That there are fights to the death sometimes over clan leadership."

"And no one does anything to stop it?"

"It's not something that's easy to stop." Shunsui said sadly. "It's just a Great Noble thing, I think. I don't understand it either, to be honest. And even though I don't like Uncle, I don't really want him to get killed, either."

"Well, right. He's your family, after all."

"Hardly." Shunsui was amused, despite himself. "I just think that if you start killing people for pride or vengeance, it will never stop. In the end, someone will die who shouldn't die, and then people around them will be hurt. That's all."

"Sometimes, Shun-kun, you sound grown up." Saku sighed. "You're right, I suppose. Death always does change things, after all. Mother's death changed a lot for me. And your Father's meant you came here. So it's better, if it can be prevented."

"If it can." Shunsui murmured. "I don't know. Tokutarou-nii...what sort of person he is. The Shiba-ke have a reputation for being strong and resourceful in combat and so on. I'm sure he's strong. And maybe he'll be angry with Uncle - so I don't know what might happen. Which is why I hope I'll be well out of the way when whatever happens, happens."

At that moment they reached the water's edge, and Shunsui sank down onto the grass, pulling his companion down with him.

"Enough of that, though." He said firmly. "It's depressing. You're lucky after all, Saku-chan. Your Father and you are close, even though you only have each other. I don't really have anyone like that. I was close to Mother, once - but I haven't seen her since I was six, and I can't write to her now. So I'm more or less on my own most of the time."

"You're not alone." Saku objected. "You have me, don't you?"

"That's true." A smile twitched at the edge of Shunsui's lips. "Which is why you shouldn't be so mean to me. I don't have anyone else who I can rely on, after all."

"Oh, you..." Saku gave him a little shove, and Shunsui laughed.

"It's true, though." He said softly, suddenly aware of how close she was to him. "There are a lot of things you can teach me about, Saku-chan."

"Things?" Saku stared at him, and Shunsui nodded.

"Lots of things." he agreed.

"Such as?" Saku eyed him warily, and Shunsui sent her an unrepentant grin.

"Things like this." He said softly. Then, before she could respond, he leant across, kissing her firmly on the lips.

"Shun-kun!" Saku pushed him back, staring at him in dismay, and Shunsui laughed.

"You've gone all red." He said, his heart flickering with warmth at her expression. "Did I do something wrong?"

"You're really such a kid sometimes, you know that?" Saku sighed, but she did not make to put space between them. "I suppose I have to teach you everything, don't I? Honestly, you're such a pain, Shun-kun. You really have no idea how much of one, sometimes."

Gently she leant forward, kissing him gently and as she did so, Shunsui was aware of something else stirring inside of him, a sensation unlike any he had ever felt before.

As they broke apart, he stared at her, and Saku grinned.

"Now you're red too." She teased. "If you can't stand the heat, Shun-kun, you shouldn't put your cards on the table. Should you?"

"Shunsui-sama!"

Before Shunsui could respond, a voice cut through the warm atmosphere like a knife, and as one the two youngsters froze, Shunsui's heart leaping in his throat as he heard the footsteps crossing the grass towards them.

He had recognised the voice immediately.

His Uncle's aging, austere, prudish houseman, Shikimura.

And he had not sounded amused.

A firm hand grasped itself around the collar of his shirt at that moment, hauling him to his feet.

"What do you imagine this is?" Shikimura demanded, meeting the boy's gaze head on, and Shunsui stared at him, for once completely lost for words as he registered the steely darkness in the man's gaze.

At Shunsui's lack of response, Shikimura turned his gaze on Saku.

"You are dismissed." He said softly. "The Lord will be hearing plenty from me about your disgraceful conduct with his nephew this afternoon, so do not make your situation worse by lingering here now. Go back to where you belong. Shunsui-sama is coming with me."

Saku's eyes widened, meeting Shunsui's gaze with a frightened look of her own. Then without a word she got to her feet, bowing towards Shikimura and hurrying away from the lakeside.

Now alone, Shunsui found himself dumped unceremoniously back on the ground.

"Your Uncle will have plenty to say, I imagine, about today's actions." Shikimura said coldly. "I advise you to think well before you answer his questions. The honour of the Kyouraku clan is not a matter to be taken lightly. You are not in your Father's care now, after all."

"I wish that I was!" Shunsui found his voice, and Shikimura's eyes narrowed, a hand coming down firmly across Shunsui's cheek at the insolence.

"You need not say anything more." He said flatly. "Stand, and follow me. Insubordination will not be tolerated. I act on your Uncle's distinct orders in this regard, so you would do better to obey without complaint."

His eyes narrowed.

"Otherwise, I think, the consequences for yourself and for your young friend will be all the worse."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

_Woo, look! Shunsui got Chapter 8! :D I hadn't realised but that means Juu will also get Chapter 13. How geekish is that??  
_

_Oh yes, the other thing was..._

_**Ukitake and his father (previous chapter)  
**_

_It seems that I've managed to cause some confusion up to this point about why the Hollow was in Seireitei and why it attacked Juu - therefore for anyone who's confused still, let me clarify._

_In **Ukitake's Chapter 2**, Kamikura and Juu then Kamikura and Juu's father discussed the Gotei and the fact Rukongai was overrun with Hollows that the Nobles did not or could not keep under control. At this point Yamamoto's Academy was a new venture. It was also explained that Soul Society is even bigger than Seireitei, but Seireitei covers much more land and living territory than it does in modern day Bleach (because of families like Ukitake's and the neighbouring Kira-ke living there in the way they do).  
_

_In **Ukitake's Chapter 3**, it was made clear that where Ukitake lives is within view of the Rukongai border, at the edge of District Six, far from the Kuchiki-ke manor, since this is where his Father took him during their training session.  
_

_In **Ukitake's Chapter 4,** a Hollow attacked Juu in the forest and his father intervened._

_At that point, six years have passed since the conversations about the Gotei and Rukongai. With nothing improving, of course Hollows are beginning to stray into Seireitei more and more and are not being kept under control. The actions/behaviour of Kyouraku Matsuhara in Kyouraku's chapters also help explain part of this._

_It's also Bleach canon that Hollows attack those with the highest reiatsu. We know Juu has high reiatsu and that he and Shunsui are unmatched by their peers at even the Academy. Therefore outside of the Kuchiki-ke, there are probably no other children in District Six with the same kind of spiritual potential._

_Ukitake lives near enough to the Rukongai border to be a target. He has high enough reiatsu to be a target. Therefore **he is a target**._

_I'm not the kind of writer who likes to state everything baldly into the chapter, and so I didn't see the need to say directly "The Hollow came to Seireitei because of x and y and it attacked Juu because of z". That kind of explanation is called 'Info Dumping' and it makes a story jerky and stilted. Besides, I rather thought people would've inferred those things from what had already been said in earlier chapters. Juu and Shunsui are living in the same world even though they are not acquainted, too. There is a whole picture of how I see their Soul Society being painted in the chapters alongside their own development.  
_

_My sincere apologies, however, to anyone I've confused along the way :)  
_


	9. 9: Ukitake: Omen

_**Omen**_

The world was stifling and hot.

Juushirou struggled to draw breath into his lungs, fighting to see his way out of the dark shroud that seemed to engulf each of his senses in its cloying, suffocating grip. From somewhere far, far away in the distance he was dimly aware of sounds, but none of them meant anything to him in his fevered delirium and though he somehow knew they meant he wasn't alone, he could not see or sense anyone else deep within this black world that had imprisoned him.

_Like being inside a Hollow's core._

The thought flickered into his mind unbidden, as the ghostly shadow of a twisted, howling beast became etched ghoulishly against the charcoal backdrop of his consciousness. He opened his mouth as if to speak, yet as he did so something blazed through him, and he coughed and wretched, suddenly choking on hot ash and scalding blood as he felt as though his entire insides were burning away into nothing more than dust.

And then, with his next breath, it began all over again.

He did not know how long he had been in this world of blackness. It seemed like he had always lived his life here, with anything else a distant, unreachable dream or worse, a mirage formed by his desperation to escape. There had been people, once, who had reached out to him, but now he could not envisage their faces or their names, and the harder he tried the stronger the pain that stabbed through his core. Something was missing, ripped away from him like a Hollow's heart being wrenched from its twisting, writhing body, and though he feared the place he was, something made him fear the one beyond even more.

He feared seeing what, somewhere deep down inside of him he already knew.

And so he struggled half-heartedly against the darkness, trapped in a limbo between life and death.

Then, from somewhere in that blackness, he felt something brush against him, light and insignificant as a feather yet gentle and soothing as it brought faint flickers of light to his ragged senses. Like a newborn child seeking his mother's comfort, Juushirou reached out towards it, searching for its gentle, reassuring aura as it threatened to disappear completely from his mind. Hot and parched though he was, the closer he drew his wits to this unknown intrusion, the more he began to feel that air could enter his lungs, after all – and that he had not been cut adrift in hell to burn into eternity.

For the briefest of moments, he thought he saw a face – the face of a stranger, ghostly pale yet tangible within his thoughts. She reached out a spectral hand towards him, brushing it gently against his cheek as she offered him a gentle, reassuring smile. The next instant she was gone, the touch nothing more than an already fading memory, yet now the sounds that encircled him had begun to link together into words, and more, into sentences, and as his sluggish brain pieced them together into coherence, he realised that there was another world separate from the prison inside his head.

"I think he's finally resting."

That was a man's voice, and Juushirou knew he had heard it before, yet he could not place it in his mind. He tried to open his eyes, but his body would not cooperate, preoccupied with the agonising battle of dragging air in and out of his lungs, and at length he gave up, giving all his strength to maintaining the ragged yet steady necessity of breathing.

"The fever has been violent, after all – it'd be best if he slept now until his body was ready for him to wake."

"But he will…he _will_ recover?" A woman this time, and from the anxiety in her tones, Juushirou knew that this was his stepmother speaking. They were speaking about him, he realised, yet somehow he felt there was someone else he needed to ask about – someone else whose condition had been worse than his.

"At this point, I don't know." The man admitted. "It's one step at a time. I've never seen Juushirou-sama's symptoms flare in this manner before – we're on new ground and I don't know where it's going to lead us."

A pause, then,

"Hidenobu will not forgive me in this life or the next, if Juushirou dies." The woman murmured. "Whatever can be done, it must be."

Something cool touched Juushirou's burning hot fingers, then,

"Not only for Hidenobu's sake." She added, in pained tones. "This boy is as dear to me as though he were my son, Fajino-sensei. To lose him…to lose him too…"

Her voice shook, and she faltered, clearly unable to put her feelings into words, and the man – the family's physician, Juushirou realised – let out a sigh.

"Kaede-sama, you should get some rest too." He murmured. "You've done nothing but nurse the Lord and this boy since the incident – your own health will fail at this rate."

"I'm all right." There was a faint note of obstinacy in Kaede's tones. "So long as Juushirou can recover, I won't let him be alone. I won't let him feel it's his fault – I don't blame him. No one must. I won't let him feel that way."

"I would advise against talking to Juushirou-sama about his father's death until he's more stable and aware." The words burned through Juushirou's stifled consciousness as though made of molten lead, and had he been able to scream out in pain, his cry would have echoed through the whole of the Ukitake manor. The agony of his physical condition paled in comparison to the sudden, emotional knife that had pierced through the core of his very being, as piece by piece he began to remember the thing he had so wanted to forget.

He had been attacked by a Hollow.

His father had come.

And now his father was dead.

"He's coming through the worst of the attack now, and it would be better to tackle it when he's coherent enough to understand."

Oblivious to how much internal suffering his patient was undergoing, the doctor continued his assessment, the calmness in his tones somehow twice as cruel to Juushirou's grief-stricken ears.

"I can't imagine how to tell him." Kaede whispered. "Juushirou loves his father more than anyone. They have a special bond, sensei, a bond that I don't share. Because Juushirou was Raiko's son – because Juushirou was born with the family curse…Hidenobu has always been especially attentive to his eldest and with good reason."

Something brushed Juushirou's sweat damped hair out of his eyes.

"Hollows always bring bad omens." She added sadly. "The night Hidenobu left me was the same night Juushirou's hair turned white. I really thought at that point we would lose both of them, sensei. I'm grateful for your hard work – even if it's slow, I can't bear to lose Juushirou too."

She let out a faint, half-hysterical laugh which jarred against Juushirou's raw senses.

"And to think, when I married into the Ukitake-ke, I was so afraid of meeting a sickly child." She murmured shakily. "That I wouldn't know what to do – or that I'd be repelled by his frailty and want to turn him away. Do you know, sensei, the first time I met him, he held his hands out to me and smiled. He wanted, even then, to welcome me – even though I'd thought such cowardly things and had such groundless fears. I knew then why Hidenobu loved him so much – even though having him had meant not having Raiko any longer. He never stopped loving Raiko, after all. She was his first and his real true love...though I know he came to love me, our marriage was born of pragmatical benefits more than long term affection. He never forgot about her, not once. And he never stopped loving Juushirou."

"Juushirou-sama's inner strength is what can save him now." Fajino said softly. "It's up to him, Kaede-sama. I can't predict what will happen from here. His body suffered great strain during the Hollow's attack. His lungs are rubbed raw and the resultant scarring is far worse than it has been before. His body's meagre reserves of strength have been exhausted and his whole self has been wrenched and ripped through by some horrendously strong spiritual energy. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. He is no longer so delirious as he was. He's resting more peacefully now. It may take a good deal of time, but I believe he will live. I believe he has that strength."

"Thank you for all your hard work." Kaede murmured, and Juushirou knew that the doctor was about to take his leave. "I'll sit with him a while longer. Even if he's asleep, somewhere he might be able to sense I'm there. He's remarkably sharp, after all, and I'd rather he wasn't alone, even if he has no idea of anything yet."

"As you wish." Fajino responded. "But please, Kaede-sama, remember your own health too. You have many grieving and worried children other than Juushirou-sama to consider, after all."

"Yes, sensei. I won't forget."

There was the sound of footsteps, then the door sliding back and shut as the physician left the chamber, and Juushirou heard his stepmother sigh.

"Much as I want to see you meet my gaze, I'm afraid of it, too." She murmured, and Juushirou felt a gentle hand caress his brow, somehow soothing the edges of his grief as he registered the genuine love in his companion's touch. "I'm not enough, I know - I can't hope to replace someone who meant as much to you as your Father did. I wouldn't even know how to begin. But I do love you - we all love you. And we want you to recover and come back to us. It won't ever be quite the same, I know. It will take time to adjust, and I know your body took a battering. But however long it takes, I won't give up on you. So long as you need me, Juushirou, I'll be here. Even if I'm not enough, I'll be here. You needn't feel alone or abandoned after all."

There was a pause, and Juushirou thought he felt the gentle, warm wetness of her tears against his skin as she bent over the bed, kissing him lightly on the brow.

"Would that you were my son." She whispered. "Maybe then, things would have been different. And maybe then I'd know how to tell you...that the person you most admired in the world is gone. Somehow we all have to go on without him, Juushirou. And somehow, as a family, we will. All of us. No matter how long it takes. Somehow, starting from here and now."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_If it's not obvious by now what paths I'm following, Juu is the 'so called Cursed Child' and Shunsui is the 'so called Blessed Child'._

_Yet Ukitake is the loved child and Shunsui is the neglected child. So even in Juu's darkest times, he's not alone. And even in Shunsui's happiest times, he is._

_Meh. I spent too long on a freezing station this morning. I'm rambling. Just ignore me, okay?  
_


	10. 10: Kyouraku: Brotherly Love

_**Brotherly Love**_

It was coming to the end of the fourth day.

Shunsui rested his elbows on the sill, gazing absently down at the ant-like house staff that scurried across the ground below, each one apparently bent on some vital errand as they disappeared into the hallways of the Kyouraku estate. None of them spared even a moment to glance up at the uppermost chamber, or to meet the gaze of the fourteen year old prisoner, locked so firmly away inside with four padlocks at the door and bars at his window.

His Uncle had soon learnt that simply shutting him in his room was no way to keep him anywhere, so he had taken extreme measures to ensure his nephew was always exactly where he expected him to be.

But this was even more extreme than usual.

_So he was worried, after all._

Four days ago, Tokutarou had had his twentieth birthday.

And four days ago the messengers had come announcing that, as Matsuhara's eldest legitimate son, Tokutarou was now acknowledged as Head of the Kyouraku clan.

His Uncle had run out of time.

_Yet he still hasn't worked out what to do about me._

Shunsui pursed his lips, for once taking little pleasure from having thwarted his Uncle's ambitions so plainly. Never in all of his fourteen years had he hated the man so much as he did at present, and locking him away in the cell-like tower room was only a small part of the root cause. Shunsui's true grievance ran deeper – it ran back to the harsh words and condemnations that had flooded his ears the night before he had been so firmly confined in the upper reaches of the estate.

It had to do with Saku, and his Uncle's innate ability to taint everything with his malicious, suspicious mind.

Shunsui sighed, wondering absently what Saku was doing now.

Deep down he realised too that, at least in part, _he_ had been the cause of their sudden dismissal from the estate's surrounding lands. Because of _his_ actions, Saku's father would have to work his trade for the commissions he could get from travellers instead of relying on the goodwill of the Kyouraku estate to see him by. Though Shikimura had seemed to think the punishment of banishment was a light one, Shunsui had fiercely resented it from the start.

He did not understand all of the behind the scenes manipulation and discussion that must've taken place, for he had been kept to quarters and under observation while his Uncle had raged at Saku's father from behind closed doors. Yet even so, he didn't need a full explanation to know what the implications were.

And he had seen and understood the look of censure in Saku's dark eyes as she had followed her father away from their small house.

She and her father would have returned to their draughty, dilapidated old home by now, some two or three _ri_ west towards the border that divided Kyouraku land from the neighbouring territory belonging to the Endou-ke. Though the house was not fit to be lived in, and had played host only to rats and other vermin for some years, they had had no choice but to go there. What they would do in order to support themselves, Shunsui didn't know. His background was privileged enough that he realised he didn't truly understand what poverty or hardship were.

But he _did_ know that, like the hypocrisy of the Gotei, they were both concepts that he was strongly coming to hate.

And he also knew that because of him, Saku had been forced out of her home. And because of it, she now hated him.

For this thing alone, Shunsui knew he would never forgive his Uncle.

Saku had been his best friend – in some ways, his only friend. The one thing that had made his life here bearable.

It might have been all right, Shunsui reflected sadly, had they not been discovered on that particular afternoon. Maybe Saku would not have been scolded, and her father not sent away from the estate if he had not acted on the impulse inside of him just as his Uncle's household chief of staff was patrolling the area looking for him. If he had not chosen that moment for his innocent, adolescent experiment, everything might have been cleared up as a chance encounter by the water's edge.

He frowned, resting his chin in his hands as he struggled with his emotions.

He would probably never see Saku again, now. The way she had looked at him when he had sneaked out of his Uncle's office in order to apologise to her still cut through his thoughts, vividly burnt there as though he would never forget it as long as he lived. And now they had left…now they would never be coming back.

Because he was the son of a Kyouraku lord.

And she was just the daughter of an impoverished local craftsman.

Shunsui knew that no matter how old he lived to be, he would never understand the logic behind that explanation. On the contrary, the longer he had been aware of the restrictions of being a Kyouraku, the more he had felt that to be free like Saku and her father was a much greater privilege. For the first time, he had truly lost his temper and told his Uncle his feelings on the matter. And as a result, he had been confined here like a prisoner – locked away in solitude with only his mealtimes bringing him any company at all.

A commotion from the ground below startled him back to his senses, and he squinted down, making out his Uncle's chief of staff in the centre of the surrounding area as he gave out barked, anxious orders to the already frantic staff. Despite himself, Shunsui found himself full of curiosity. What had happened, then, in the brief moments he had been daydreaming about Saku and the lost chance that he would never be able to repair? Clearly, something was amiss, for he had never seen Shikimura quite so on edge before.

Then his eyes widened as he made out the cluster of men and women surrounding the gate, his sharp gaze making out the distinctive colours and the emblem that patterned the breast of their clothing.

_Kyouraku_ retainers, then.

But not his Uncle's.

Shunsui frowned, noticing that in the midst of these familiar suits there were four or five who bore a different emblem. Shunsui gazed at it for a moment, dragging up the right information from the depths of his brain as he struggled to identify it. At last, however, he had his answer.

The Shiba-ke.

A faint smile touched his lips.

So his brother had come, then, at last?

He stepped away from the window, sinking down on his bed and leaning up against the wall as he slipped his hands behind his head. It was not his business, after all, or his problem…he had no part in the dynastic struggle that had preoccupied his Uncle's every waking moment since the slaying of Matsuhara eight years before. So far as he was concerned, it didn't matter who had control of the manor or the land that surrounded it. All he knew was that he did not want it. And he had no intention of doing anything to help anyone get hold of it.

Almost as soon as that thought crossed his mind, there was a commotion from the bottom of the steps that led up to his cell, then the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs and despite himself Shunsui jumped, gazing at the old wooden door in apprehension as a firm, decisive fist rapped three times against the panelling.

"Shunsui? Are you in there?"

The voice was not one he had heard before, and Shunsui hesitated, uncertain of what he should do.

There was a pause, then the knock came again.

"Shunsui, dammit, if you're there, speak up. Unless you plan on rotting there for all eternity, damn well say something so I can hear you!"

At this brusque manner of address, Shunsui's eyes widened.

Who at his Uncle's manner had _ever_ spoken to him in that abrupt, matter of fact tone of voice?

"I'm here!" He responded, even as he heard the sound of tools clashing against the locks. "I'm locked inside."

"Then that housemaid was telling the truth." He heard that same voice mutter, then, "All right. Break the locks and let me see for myself exactly how deep this family's poison runs."

"The locks won't give, sir. They're forged metal and high quality." Another man said.

"Then break down the door." Came the unequivocal response. "You can do that, surely, can't you? Even if your swords can't break the metal, they can surely slice through an aging wooden door?"

"Yes, sir!" Came the replies, and Shunsui froze, staring at the door in dismay as he heard the sound of metal scraping and slashing at the wood surface. To begin with it sounded like an army of rodents had invaded his tower, but then the first blades broke through, the glittering tips catching the light of the sun that streamed in through the chamber's only window. Within a matter of moments, a large hole had been beaten through, planks and panels shoved aside by the hard pommels and determined thrusts of a group of burly retainers, and as the door buckled, a young man came forward, stepping through the gap and into the chamber itself.

For a moment, Shunsui stared at him, taking in his unmistakeable Kyouraku clan clothing, coated in wood dust though it now was. At the stranger's waist hung a red-guarded sword, and the man's gloved hand was already half closed around the hilt, as if anticipating some kind of sudden ambush on entering the small room.

He held up his hands, hastily getting to his feet.

"I don't have a weapon." He said honestly. "And I don't intend to fight you or anything. That's not why I got locked in here…I'm not going to attack you."

At his honest words, the man hesitated, then smiled, releasing his grasp on his sword.

"I know that." He said quietly. "I just didn't know if you were alone here or if someone was keeping watch."

"Keeping…watch?"

Shunsui blinked, and the newcomer nodded.

"I've heard from your mother all about it. All about everything, in fact." He said simply. "When you stopped writing to her eighteen months ago, she wrote to me and begged me to do something to ensure that you weren't dragged into something you weren't able to escape. I wasn't able to do anything about it till now, but I did ride to the manor yesterday to meet with her and to properly consolidate my standing there. She impressed me in a lot of ways, your lady Mother. I thought that the son of a woman that strong must be someone not easily broken to someone else's will. And so I came here, to find you locked away like a prisoner in a cell not fit for a disciplined servant."

He frowned.

"Father would have hated that." He said grimly. "And I don't like it either."

Shunsui did not respond, and the stranger rested a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"You don't even know who I am, do you, saying things like this to you?" He asked ruefully, and Shunsui gathered his wits, nodding his head.

"Tokutarou-niisama." He said softly. "I knew from the moment you stepped in the room, sir. Because you look a lot like Father."

"I see." Tokutarou eyed him keenly. "You must have been young when Father died, however…yet you remember his face so clearly as that? I was under the impression from Yoshiko-dono that you barely saw him when you were still in her care."

"That's true." Shunsui admitted, his mind flitting to the night his Father had lost his life. "But it's not something you ever forget, sir. The face of your Father. I couldn't forget him. Not even a little."

He eyed his companion apprehensively.

"What happens now?"

"What happens?" Tokutarou pursed his lips. "That depends on you, I think. Your Uncle seems quite determined to make you an obstacle in my claim to the Kyouraku clan leadership, but I don't think you feel the same way, do you, Shunsui? Otherwise why would he lock you away, knowing that I would no doubt come to confront him?"

"Because I kissed a girl whose father was a craftsman." Shunsui remembered belatedly how he had intended to give his brother the impression of his own idiocy, yet somehow the confession only pained him, a sensation that only grew as Tokutarou began to laugh.

"Then you truly are Father's son, are you?" He asked lightly. "I see. I suppose we all have to learn about these things in one way or another. How old are you, anyhow? Thirteen, perhaps? Fourteen? I suppose it's time you found out about the opposite sex."

"Fourteen, sir." Shunsui somehow felt unsettled, as though all his resolve had been brushed away in the light of his brother's casual, friendly approaches. He had often imagined Tokutarou to be cold and distant, a brother who had not had any interest in the younger child his father's second marriage had spawned. Yet here he was, standing right there in front of him. Almost as if…

"Oniisama, did you…come to Uncle's estate…to make sure he recognised you as leader of the clan?" He asked softly. "Or…did you come here…to find _me_?"

"Both things." Tokutarou assured him. "Our Uncle is a dangerous, scheming, greedy individual, after all. When mother died, Father asked her kin to take me in and train me, because he knew that as well as anyone else. I think he felt, sooner or later, it would come to this point. And he wanted to be sure I didn't come to harm."

He smiled sadly.

"Only he didn't have time to do the same for you." He murmured. "He wrote to me, after all, not long before his death. And he told me that he was worried about what might happen in the future. But by the time I read his letter, you were already brought here. And until now, I had no power to claim you. If I had tried, it would have been seen as a Shiba invasion. And you might have been killed instead."

Shunsui stared.

"Father…worried about me?" He whispered. "Even though…he barely looked at me once?"

"Father often wrote about you and your mother to me." Tokutarou confirmed. "About how he didn't want to taint you – either of you – or your innocence by allowing you too close to his disgrace. He knew he was out of control, Shunsui. That he'd lost his will to fight and had begun to slip into bad habits that got him from day to day. But he wasn't a cruel man. And he never wished anyone harm. In the end, that's what killed him. That he didn't want to kill anyone else."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I think you might be more like him than me in that regard." He said softly, brushing the hilt of his sword. "It's only the fact it's the will of the clan that I haven't yet slit Uncle's throat for all the things he's done to try and wrest the leadership away from our branch of the family. But if he causes us further trouble, I _will_ do it. In this I'm not like Father. In this I'm more like my Shiba kin."

He smiled, as distress glittered in Shunsui's eyes.

"Ah, but you really are Father's son, aren't you?" He murmured. "You don't want me to kill him, even though he's kept you a virtual prisoner these eight years?"

"I don't think killing each other solves anything." Shunsui said with a sigh. "It just causes more complications and creates more work."

"Well, for now, I don't intend to do it." Tokutarou told him frankly. "But I _am_ placing him under house arrest here with some of my most trusted companions in charge of keeping him out of trouble. I hoped to take you back with me – back to the main estate, where your Mother is waiting to hear news of you. But if you don't want to…"

Shunsui hesitated for a moment, an image of Saku flashing before his eyes. Then it faded, and he slowly shook his head.

"If it's no trouble, I'd like to see Mother." He said firmly, making up his mind as he put Saku out of his thoughts. "I'm not smart or strong or much use in any regard, oniisama. But I can at least not try and fight you or steal what's yours by right. I don't want to be head of any clan, and I don't want to be used as a figurehead for it, either. So if it's all right, I'd like to go back home. Even though I don't know now if it's really a home at all."

"For me either, since I've spent so many years with my Shiba relations." Tokutarou admitted. "So we'll both make a new start there together."

He patted Shunsui on the head, and strangely Shunsui did not feel put out at having been subjected to such a condescending gesture.

"You're young yet. There's time to find your strength." He added. "I'm sure you have it, after all. If you're truly Father's son – it must be in there, deep down inside. And we'll find a way to bring it out – your true purpose as part of the Kyouraku clan."


	11. 11: Ukitake: Wisdom of Pisces

_**Wisdom of Pisces**_

Autumn looked like coming early this year.

Juushirou leant up against the wood frame of the window, listlessly gazing out across the landscape towards the forest that marked the edge of his family's land. Even from this distance, he could see that the leaves were beginning to turn, a scattering of gold and brown already patched amidst the vivid, vibrant green of the tree tops.

He frowned, pushing the drape across so that the forest was no longer clearly in view. Though the sight was beautiful, for Juushirou it was simply painful – a harsh reminder of his father's passing. Bitter resentment curled in his young heart as he contemplated yet again the unfairness of it all. The forest still lived, after all. Birds still nested in the trees and plants still grew and thrived in the soft soil. Yet his father – his strong, brave father – he would never walk there again.

And it had all been because, in the end, Juushirou was weak.

He sighed, getting wearily to his feet and padding the few steps across the chamber towards his bed. Eighteen months had passed now since the day his father had died, and since that time, Juushirou had barely left the confines of the family home. Where once he had been so full of life and determination, now he passed the days as nothing more than an invalid – a pale shadow of the man he had once looked like becoming. Without his father's guidance and belief, Juushirou felt empty – that after all, he was tainted by the family's inescapable curse. As if to prove it right, his symptoms had flared all the more since that awful day - trapping him in a cycle of fever and debility until he had given up looking for the way out. All it had led him to believe was that, in the end, his mother had been wrong to preserve his life.

His mother and his father both, if he was brutally honest about it.

He flopped back on his bed, gazing sightlessly up at the slatted ceiling over his head as he did so. The panels were old now, cracked and a haven for spiders and dust, yet even though the neglected chamber often made his breathing worse, he had refused to let anyone do anything to fix it. Since the day he had learned of his father's death, a bitter resolve had formed inside of him.

He was the cursed one. The unlucky one. The one whose existence had meant the loss of both of his parents.

Such a child did not deserve help from anyone. Such a child did not deserve sympathy.

Such a child did not deserve to live.

He closed his eyes, a dull ache beginning behind his temples as a sense of helplessness washed over him. His chest ached from a night of coughing up blood, and he knew even without Anika or his step-mother telling him that the fever that had plagued him on and off for several months would soon be hitting its peak yet again. If he was honest with himself, he had long since stopped caring what kind of health the day found him in. He had seen, after all, the sapling in the forest as it had been crushed before his eyes. Not all saplings made it to becoming trees. And in the end, Juushirou's father had been wrong.

Juushirou was not a tree at all. Juushirou was nothing more than a parasitic, invasive weed.

And if the curse killed him, in the end, it didn't matter.

"Juu-niisama?"

A voice from the door made him open his eyes, his gaze flitting to the intruder with a mixture of languid resignation and irritation at the interruption. He made no attempt to either sit up or speak, and at his lack of response, the visitor sighed, slipping into the room and closing the door behind her.

"Juu-niisama, aren't you at least going to say 'good morning' to me today?"

Juushirou's eyes darkened, and he merely turned his head away, gazing back up at the ceiling as he willed her to go away.

Chihiro was the next in line to him, the older twin sister of his wild-natured brother Hiroyuki whose games he had so wanted to join when they had been small children. At just past fourteen, Chihiro was a half foot smaller than her brothers, yet with all the steely resoluteness of the eldest daughter of the house, and in the past few weeks, she had taken to invading her older brother's chamber each morning, as if taking it upon herself to bring him forcibly from his confinement.

Juushirou was not interested in Chihiro's attempts to play family, however. In fact, of all of the children, it was Chihiro he dreaded seeing most of all, for his father's handsome features were most clearly reflected in the young girl's face.

She was a constant reminder of what he had done, and he hated it more than anything.

At his silence, Chihiro sighed again, but did not go, instead approaching the bed and setting something down on the unit beside him.

"I brought you breakfast." She said softly. "It's still hot, and Anika's flavoured it to make it sweet and easy for you to swallow with your throat so raw."

"I'm not hungry."

That was a lie, he knew it as well as she did, for despite his frail body Juushirou had always commanded a healthy appetite. Even when he had been riven by the worst of his fevers as a small child, he had always managed to put away more food than most of his younger siblings ever had, and though his skinny body belied his appetite, he had always been the first to the table when it came to family meals. It had been a joke many times in the past, he remembered, a painful sense of nostalgia touching his senses at the recollection, and relatives had often commented on how he was able to consume so much and yet still remain barely more than skin and bone.

Still, even though the same hunger gnawed away inside of him today as it had then, Juushirou did not want to eat. He did not want to fuel his body to do anything it didn't need to do – because in the end it had been because he had taken his own initiative and gone into the forest alone that his father had died.

"Juu-nii, how long are you going to keep this up for?"

Chihiro sat down on the edge of his bed, arranging her skirts more comfortably over her knees as she cast him a questioning glance. "Day after day it's the same thing, you know – you won't let Kamikura-sensei come instruct you, or join us when it comes to meals or any other family occasion. You shut yourself away in here, playing the part of the invalid…"

"I'm not playing any part." Juushirou cut across her, coldness in his tones as he met her gaze with blank hazel eyes. "You can try and pretend all you like, Chihiro…but there's no escaping it. I'm a cursed child of the Ukitake clan. I caused Mother's death and I caused Father's death, too. It's even in my name – the child who's touched by death. Do you think I fake it, when I cough up blood all night or run temperatures high enough to heat the whole chamber? It's not an act. It's the way my body is. Even if you don't like it, you're old enough to understand."

"Don't patronise me." Chihiro said sharply, her hazel green eyes narrowing as she glared at her brother indignantly. "I'm not stupid. I know that you're sick, Niisama. Noone's denying that. But you never used to shut yourself away like this. You always used to embrace life to the fullest you could – do you think Father would like this, seeing you hide yourself away like this instead of taking on what he wanted you to do – to be head of our Clan into the future?"

Her words stabbed through Juushirou's heart like a knife, and slowly he shook his head, reaching up his thin fingers to touch the hair that fell loose and lank against his shoulders.

"That was then. This is now." He murmured, a faint hoarseness in his words as he fought to contain his emotions. "When Father died, Chihiro, everything changed. _I_ changed. This curse surged inside of me then – you know that. I never had an attack like that before…an attack so violent three days of fever turned my hair from black to white. In the end, no matter what he said, Father was wrong. There's a reason why children born with this curse are meant to die at birth. The reason is that to see them live causes those around them too much suffering."

His eyes narrowed, as he released his grip on his hair.

"This just marks it out so everyone can see it." He added. "The _white_ plague. Tuberculosis. The curse of the Ukitake-ke."

Chihiro looked pained.

"The only thing that marks you out from anyone is you being this pathetic." She said at length. "And I'm fed up with hearing you sound like you've completely given up on life."

"It's better this way." Juushirou turned his head away from her.

"How is it?" Chihiro demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

"Because this way I can't hurt anyone. If I don't leave this room, I can't put anyone in danger."

"How can you _say_ that?" Chihiro reacted to this, grabbing him by the shoulders and forcibly pulling him upright, meeting his gaze with a black one of her own. "How can you say something so stupid and selfish, Niisama?! Of all people, I never imagined _you _could be like this. Of all of our family, Father always said you were the strong one. _You _were the one who was going to take care of us in the future, no matter what. He always said that. And now look at you! What have you become, Juu-nii? Do you think he'd be proud of you, if he saw you malingering like this?"

"How _dare _you think you understand what I feel!" Juushirou gathered his wits, shaking her off indignantly as anger rose inside of him. "You don't understand – you can't begin to understand – so don't even try! Leave me alone, Chihiro. I don't need your lectures or your company, and I don't need you!"

As the harsh words left his lips, he half-wished he could recall them, for the girl stumbled away from him, face draining of colour as she reached out a hand to steady herself against the bed. For a moment there was silence, as she gazed at him in alarm and dismay. Then she drew a shaky breath into her lungs, putting her fingers to her chest as she struggled to calm down.

"Even now you're strong, Niisama." She whispered. "Even just lying there, being stubborn like you are. I can feel it, you know, when you unleash that force at me. Even if you don't mean to do it, Juu-nii, I can't help _but_ feel it. It's there in your anger, bubbling just below the surface. The strength Father said was inside of you – even now it's still there."

Juushirou stared at her, stricken for a moment as he registered the sudden surge in his own aura which had pushed his younger sister forcibly away from his side.

"I didn't mean to…" He said thickly, and Chihiro sighed, sinking down onto the floor.

"I know." She murmured. "And I'm not really angry at you. I'm sad, that's all. We're all sad. You're our brother, and the only one hurting so much is _you_. Father wouldn't want this – he'd want you to stand up and accept the things he left you to face. He didn't die because of you. That's stupid. Noone thinks that at all. So you shouldn't punish yourself like this, Juu-nii. It's not fair. You don't deserve it – none of us do."

Juushirou pulled his robe more tightly around his body as a shiver wracked through his thin frame.

"I'm sorry, Chihiro." He said softly. "Please, leave me alone. I don't want to hurt you – and when my fever is high it's more difficult for me to suppress it. I was coughing a lot last night, after all – it's safer if you don't come near me."

"Do you think any of us are just going to let you rot here by yourself?" Chihiro demanded, getting to her feet.

"I've told you. It's better if you don't come." Juushirou murmured, his pitch dropping as he felt the all-too familiar stifling pain begin to twitch through his battered lungs afresh. "It hurts me and it hurts you, and it can't bring Father back."

Chihiro sighed, glancing at the porridge which lay untouched on the bedside unit.

"Try to eat a little, and soothe your throat." She said softly. "Get some rest, Juu-nii. I'll come again tomorrow, after all."

With that she was gone, and Juushirou fell back against the pillows that supported him during the worst of his attacks, closing his eyes as he fought against his swirling emotions. If he let them win, he knew, he would simply spasm and cough, choking up blood from already raw and damaged lungs just as he had done the night before. Yet his head ached and span from the rising fever, and he berated himself bitterly for letting Chihiro come so close to being hurt.

The strength his father had talked about was now more of a curse than a blessing, he mused darkly, for when it surged free from his control it ravaged his system without mercy, causing him to choke and gasp in such a way that even he, through all the burning pain, had begun to fear his own death. Ever since the day when he had faced his first Hollow, it had grown steadily stronger, as though that fateful encounter had stirred a dormant instinct within him. Yet the more he tried to suppress it, the more tired and fevered he became, as though fighting a war with something that he could not win.

It was better, in the end, that they left him alone. A power with enough malignant force to bleach the colour from his hair was enough to do serious harm to those around him, after all. No matter how much they loved him – he was still the cursed child. And cursed children were not meant to survive.

He sank into a feverish doze, allowing the grip of sleep to wash over him as he submitted his mind to the lure of oblivion. Sleep was the only time that he found respite, yet so often the condition which had held him cruelly in its grip was an unforgiving mistress, disturbing his rest with midnight tremors and spasms violent enough that, had his vocal chords not been semi-paralysed by their force, he would have found it difficult to suppress screams of pain.

Still, now at last, after a restless night of such attacks, his body relented, and slowly he sank deeper and deeper into rest, the world becoming blurry and hazy as he released his grasp on reality.

As he drifted away into darkness, he was sure he could hear a faint swish-swish somewhere in the background, soft and yet unmistakeable to his young ears. To begin with it was simply a distraction on the periphery of his consciousness but, as sleep took a tighter hold on his fatigued body, the noise began to grow in volume, intensifying until it surrounded all of his senses. With a jolt he realised that it was the distinctive roar of the ocean, waves lapping against the white-stone cliffs as though guided there by the swell of a sudden gust of wind.

Somehow, even the chimera of the sea served to soothe Juushirou's battered heart just a bit, and he urged his consciousness closer towards it, allowing the gentle, even rhythm of the water to brush away the rawness of his emotions.

Even though he had not walked down to the coast for more than a year, he felt that it was calling to him, and in his dream-state he answered that call, drawing closer and closer to the water's edge until he could see the scene clearly in his mind's eye.

Yet even though the bay was the same as always, something was different.

He paused at the water's edge, bending to run his fingers nostalgically through the salt-tinged liquid. It was cool and refreshing, just as it had always been on the summer days when he, his siblings and his stepmother had braved the sun and headed down to the coast for an afternoon of fun and games. Then, he knew, he had been forbidden from going too far in, yet this time it was as though some invisible force was reaching out towards him, trying to guide him deeper and deeper into the water.

And even with his father's concerns ringing in his ears, Juushirou gave in to temptation and followed the water's lure.

Though it had been cold a moment before, as he stepped deeper and deeper in amongst the waves, he thought he felt a warmth spread through every part of his body, touching even the very tips of his fingers and toes as it engulfed him in its reassuring grasp. Now, he realised, the sound of the waves was not a hiss at all, but a soft, whispering voice, calling him by name as it enticed him to dip below the water's surface and enter into the world below.

This time he hesitated, yet the call became more and more insistent, and finally he could withstand the sensation no longer. With a sigh, he gave in to the sea, sinking below the surface as water rushed up to meet him from every angle.

For the first instant, liquid seemed set on choking him, filling his nose and mouth and trickling deep into his ears in a way that not even Anika's thorough bathing attempts when he had been a baby had managed to achieve. Yet, even as his fear washed through him, he felt something reach out and grasp his hand, and heard the soft sound of a woman's voice somewhere close to his left side.

"Don't fight it, Juushirou. It's not your enemy. The less you fight, the less it will hurt you. Stop fighting and let it in."

He had never heard the voice before, yet somehow he knew it was imprinted on his soul, and something in its tone reassured him, making him believe he was not here alone. Obediently he ceased to struggle, allowing his body to go limp as he drifted deeper and deeper beneath the waves. Yet even though there was no air, he found that the woman's words had been true. If he did not fight, it did not hurt him. If he did not struggle against the water, it did not try to fight back.

"There, you see? I told you, didn't I?" The voice was back again, and Juushirou turned his head, his words dying on his lips as he registered the speaker's physical form.

It was neither a man, nor a woman, but the sleek ebony form of a fish, jet black scales glittering in the mottled sunlight that even here reached down below the waves.

At his astonishment, the fish swam closer, meeting his dumbfounded gaze with pearl white eyes.

"You aren't sure what to make of me, are you, Juushirou-kun? I've surprised you, haven't I?"

"You…you're a fish." At length Juushirou found his voice. "I don't understand. What is this? Am I dreaming? Where is this place? Why is there a fish talking to me? What…"

"You ask a lot of questions, and don't wait for the answers, my boy." A male voice cut across his words, and Juushirou swung around to the right, making out the slim shape of another fish, this time in snow white, yet just as beautiful as the one who had spoken to him first. "How do you expect to learn anything, if you tackle things like that?"

Juushirou whitened, staring at the tiny creature in alarm.

"This place is within your soul." The black fish told him. "And you've come here because your heart is out of balance. If you continue this way, your body will not be able to withstand it. That's why we decided it was time to call you here."

"Within my soul…?" Juushirou murmured blankly, and the white fish flicked his tail as if in agreement, staring at Juushirou with intense, jet black eyes.

"Making you understand is more important than anything else, at present." He agreed. "We're not figments of your imagination, but pieces of who you are – of who you might one day be."

"But…but who _are_ you?" Juushirou demanded. "What do you mean, pieces of who I might one day be?"

"Do you really not know the answer to that question?" The white fish scolded him lightly, and as he did so, Juushirou's eyes widened in disbelief, suddenly realising where he had heard the voice before.

"…_Otousama_?"

"You are a naïve child, aren't you?" Despite his words, there was a faint hint of affection in the white fish's voice. "Your father is dead, Juu-kun. You know that, don't you? He's no longer in this world. He's gone far far beyond the reach of anyone."

"But then how…your voice…why do you sound like him?" Juushirou demanded, anger surging through him as he reached out in vain to grasp the small creature between his fingers. "Why are you taunting me with his voice? Do you just want to make me regret his dying even more?"

"Foolish _and_ naïve, it seems." The white fish swam easily away from his fingers, wheeling around to slap Juushirou across the cheek with the broad side of his long, billowy tail. "Or don't you understand how it is children come into this world, Juushirou?"

"How children come…" Juushirou faltered, raising his hand to his cheek as he gazed at the creature in bewilderment. "I don't…"

"You're teasing him too much." The other fish intervened now, a reproachful, gentle note in her soft tones. "He's never been here before, after all. It's too soon for him to understand those things. It's only because the situation has reached this point – don't be harsh on him. We're not his enemies, after all. We're his friends."

"No offence to either of you, but I don't remember ever making friends with fish." Juushirou gathered his wits. "And I'm understanding less and less by the minute."

"There are a lot of things you don't need to know at the moment. You're not ready to understand everything, after all – not yet." The black fish swam closer to him, brushing his cheek with her fin as she met his gaze with gentle pearl eyes. "For now, just understand that we are two parts of your soul - strengths you inherited from your parents, which one day you might make your own."

"Strengths that I inherited?" Juushirou stared. "You mean…you both are…"

"Just as you are." The white fish agreed. "Part of them and part of you."

He flicked his tail pensively.

"Did your Father never teach you that? That a parent lives on inside a child's heart?"

Juushirou reddened, looking uncomfortable as he remembered the conversation up on the mountain, on the first day he had wielded a Kendou stick for himself.

"Yes." He admitted. "I suppose he did. But I didn't think…"

"And did he not tell you that you had a strength inside of you? A strength that one day would be something you could use to protect the people dear to you?"

"Yes…but he was wrong." Juushirou glanced at his hands. "I'm weak and useless and I couldn't do anything at all when Father was in danger. How can I protect anyone or anything? I'm cursed, after all. I have the family's plague. What use am I to anyone, in this pathetic shell of a body?"

"Well, if you take that attitude, what do you expect?" The white fish said frankly. "If you believe you're that way, then of course you will be. That's common sense, after all – I thought you had more intelligence than that, Juu-kun."

"Stop lecturing me with my Father's voice!" Juushirou snapped. "It doesn't change anything. Whenever the power surges inside of me, I hurt people…and I hurt myself. My lungs bleed, I cough, and my body starts to collapse around me. What kind of strength is that, when I can barely even speak let alone stand in defence of my family!"

"You're speaking now. Shouting, in fact." The white fish was unmoved.

"That's different." Juushirou said bad-temperedly. "I don't know what place this is, but obviously it's not real."

"It's as real as you are." The white fish told him firmly. "How pleasant a place it is depends entirely on you, however – and of late it's become decidedly more chilly and harsh than it ever was before."

"That's enough, You." Before Juushirou could retort once more, the black fish swam between them, consternation in her diamond eyes. "Don't…it's not helping, making him upset like this."

"How else do you expect to make him understand, In?" The white fish demanded. "In this state he's useless. He'll simply curl up and die without a fight. How else can we knock it into him? Mollycoddling is useless. He's not that kind of boy."

"He's a boy who loved his Father and who wanted to love his Mother, too." In said softly. "Even though he never had the chance to speak to her face to face. You know that as well as I do, after all. Who this boy is, beneath all of this self-doubt."

"I know. That's why it's annoying me so much." You admitted, and Juushirou's eyes widened as suddenly things clicked into place.

"You….your name is _In_?" He asked faintly, pointing at the black fish, who flipped her tail in confirmation of his words.

"And yours is '_You_'?" He turned his attention to the other fish, who swam round in a circle, eying him keenly.

"Yes, that's right." He agreed.

"_In'you_." Juushirou murmured. "The balance…that's what you meant. Isn't it? The two of you…are that balance."

"In represents your mother's love." You said pragmatically. "And I represent your father's fortitude. Between us, we make up part of your soul, Juu-kun. Within each of us is an individual unique strength that belongs to you – but only if you prove yourself worthy of wielding it."

"It's true that your power damages your body at the moment, because you've only suppressed it, you haven't learnt to control or harness it to use it to its full potential." In added. "We shouldn't really speak to you now, not like this, but we don't want you to give up hope. You are strong – your Mother and your Father both knew it, and their hopes are sealed deep inside of us. It's up to you now to learn how to reach those hopes."

"But _how_?" Juushirou whispered, tears glittering in his hazel eyes. "They died because of me. Both of them, in the end, because of me."

"All parents love their children more than their own lives." You murmured softly, and Juushirou flinched, staring at the white fish in dismay.

"Father said that." He said brokenly. "But even so…"

"_Both_ of your parents loved you." In said gently. "There's no crime in being loved, Juushirou. No reason to feel guilty because that love drove them to do amazing things for your sake. The only crime would be to waste their sacrifice and belief by letting that potential wither and die within you."

"But…"

"If you want to repay that debt, Juu-kun, you have to become stronger." You said frankly. "That's all there is to it. Stop sitting in a corner and bemoaning your ills and start living your life the way you know your Father would have wanted you to. Otherwise you _will_ truly be the cursed one. Unless you learn to control your strength, it will continue to attack you. And the suffering – for you and for your family - will only get worse."

"Just like you struggled against the water when you entered, it struggled against you." In murmured. "And your power is the same way. If you fight against it, it will continue to fight you. And it will remain stronger than you are, if you continue to approach life from this angle."

Juushirou was silent for a moment, gazing down at his fingers as he absorbed everything that the strange, ethereal fish-creatures had said. Then, at length, he glanced up.

"Will you help me?" He asked softly, and surprise flashed across You's ebony eyes.

"Do you truly want us to?" He demanded, and Juushirou nodded.

"I _am_ weak, now." He murmured. "I lost the person I loved the most, after all. I lost his guidance and I lost my way. But I understand…what you say, I understand. It sounds like something my Father would tell me, so I suppose…that's why I want to believe it. That in the end, he didn't die because I failed to do something. That everything since then hasn't been the curse punishing me for letting him down."

"Is that what you believe, Juu-kun?" The white fish eyed him quizzically.

"I didn't know what else to believe." Juushirou said helplessly. "When I faced that Hollow, something surged inside of me - something that ripped right through my body and burned me to my core. I didn't understand what it was, or where it came from, but it crippled me and meant that Father put himself in harm's way to protect me. And I've never been able to forget that."

"What it sparked was your natural instinct, Juushirou. Your instinct to protect those you love." In said gently. "Your native power, struggling to come to your aid. But you weren't ready for it - you didn't know how to handle it and so it hurt you instead. That's all. It wasn't a curse or a punishment. It was simply raw power - power that you couldn't control."

"But even if that's true, something inside of me was responsible for what happened that day." Juushirou said sadly. "And it's not nice knowing that both your parents died because of you."

"But so long as you're alive, they're still here. We're still here." In spoke gently, and for the briefest of instants Juushirou thought he felt his long-dead mother's aura glittering around her tiny, scaled body. "And we won't ever leave you, no matter who else does. We're with you till the end, Juushirou. I promise. No matter what."

"No matter what." Juushirou murmured.

"It's like In said." You agreed. "So stop mooning and wasting time here and start doing things for yourself again. Your body's in such a poor shape that you've a long path ahead of you, if you truly want to get well. But it's in your hands. It's not too late. And when you're ready to see us again – when you're ready to know our other name – we'll speak once more."

"Wait." As the fish and the water began to blur and fade around him, Juushirou held up his hands. "Wait, what do you mean? Your _other_ name? What are you…?"

But before he could finish his sentence, the images were gone, and he was once more back in his bedroom, the softness of the blankets brushing against his skin as he drew a shaky breath into his lungs, opening his eyes.

Had it been a dream, then?

Carefully and gingerly he pulled himself to his feet, wrapping his robe more tightly around his thin frame as he crossed the floor to the window. As his gaze rested on the forest beyond, he frowned, his eyes narrowing as beneath the heavy fabric of the robe, he balled his thin fingers into resolute fists.

Dream or no dream, the fish had been right. Whether it had been a message from his parents, his own inner conscience or the simple delirium of fever, he didn't know and didn't care. Either way, his father's words rang more strongly in his ears now than before, and as he gazed across at the faint blue line that marked the ocean, he was reminded of his sister's remarks, too.

_Father wouldn't want this – he'd want you to stand up and accept the things he left you to face. He didn't die because of you. That's stupid. Noone thinks that at all. So you shouldn't punish yourself like this, Juu-nii. It's not fair._

He turned, his gaze falling on the still neglected bowl of porridge that his sister had brought him and a faint, bittersweet smile touched his lips.

She had come, even though he had not welcomed her. And each day she kept coming, even though each day he had refused her efforts and rejected her love.

Well, no more.

Sitting down on the bed, he scooped up the bowl, giving in at last to his nagging hunger. It had cooled, true, yet it was not unpalatable, and resolutely Juushirou scraped the vessel clean, setting the spoon back down. Even though his throat was raw and his chest ached, somehow even the small gesture of accepting his sister's affection had lightened the weight on his heart, and inwardly he berated himself for his blindness.

He_ had_ hurt them, after all, by shutting them away. The fish had been right. Real or illusionary, he would not forget their words.

Drawing his robe more firmly around him, he crossed the chamber, pushing open the door and stepping out into the hallway. As he did so, he heard an exclamation of surprise, and he glanced down, seeing his sister curled up beside the door, a book on the floor in front of her.

For a moment he stared at her, then,

"Chihiro, what are you…?"

"I thought you might need me." Chihiro flushed red, gazing at him in embarrassment. "Because you were coughing last night, and I thought you might have another attack. I…I didn't want you to choke, and have noone be there if you did."

"Chi-chan…" Despite himself, Juushirou swallowed hard, guilt flooding his sallow features as he digested her words. He set the bowl down, gently taking her by the hands and pulling her to her feet.

"I wanted to say I was sorry." He said softly. "I thought about it – what you said – and I'm sorry. You're right – Father wouldn't want me to act this way. I'm letting you all down, but I'm letting him down even more. And I don't want to do that. Not when he gave everything to protect me."

"Juu-nii!" Hope flooded Chihiro's gaze, and impulsively she flung her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Careful!" Despite himself Juushirou winced at the pressure against his bruised ribs, and Chihiro's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed, hurriedly disentangling herself. "I didn't mean to – are you all right?"

"I think Anika's sweet porridge helped." Juushirou held her at arm's length, a faint smile touching his lips. "I don't think I'm about to go into spasm now, even though my chest still aches. I think maybe I realised, too, that either I can keep this cycle of being sick and a burden on everyone, or I can try at least to find a way to make myself useful, instead. I don't know what that way is, yet. But I will find it. And I _will _get better. I promise. I won't make you all worry any more, Chi-chan. After all, that's not what Father would want me to do."

"I'm glad." Tears touched Chihiro's hazel eyes, and she grasped his fingers in hers. "You're still hot, though, Niisama, and you should probably still be resting."

"I didn't sleep much last night, but I feel more peaceful now, all of a sudden." Juushirou reflected. "I think I can sleep, at least for a bit."

He smiled.

"And then tomorrow I want to go down to the sea." He added softly. "Even if I can't go in the water."

"The sea?" Chihiro looked surprised. "Are you sure? It's a long walk for someone who's barely left the house in eighteen months or more."

"I'm sure." Juushirou nodded his head. "Even more now than ever before. It's like the waves are somehow a part of me...I'd like to see them again."

Chihiro smiled, relief in her gaze as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Whatever you say." She said simply. "If it means you're feeling better, then I don't think anyone will argue with it, least of all Okaasama. She's worried about you too, after all."

Juushirou pursed his lips.

"Well, she won't have to any more." He said softly. "Whatever I felt before, I don't feel it now. I'm going to do something to repay my parents, Chi-chan. No matter what it takes or how long it is before I find it - I'm going to make sure they didn't protect me in vain. I'll find a way to return that debt - _no matter what_!"

* * *

_**Author's note:**_  
_In'you - the Japanese reading of Yin-Yang. But you guessed that, right? It just seemed logical to me that Ukitake's twin fish should be represented in that way, considering his sense of fairness and justice and considering the name of his zanpakutou._

_  
Wisdom is probably a loose translation. Law or reason is probably a truer one. But it made for a good chapter header. So whatever ^_^. Wisdom is probably better in the sense I've done the chapter in any case.  
_

_I also prefer 'Pisces' over 'twin fish' because Pisces ("sougyo-kyuu" or "uoza") happens to be my starsign, so it keeps my fangirl happy :D I have a feeling that's what Kubo-sensei intended, in any case, I just can't prove it ;)__  
_


	12. 12: Kyouraku: Doomsday

_**Doomsday**_

The storm clouds were gathering over the Clan once again.

Shunsui stood at the window of the small bed-chamber that had once been his home, resting his fingers lightly on the sill as he glanced down as he often had before at the bustling grounds below. Today, like so many years before, he yearned to run free across the grass and disappear to the lake, yet this time he knew things had changed. He was sixteen now, no longer a small boy who could scramble out through window slats and make his way unseen into the undergrowth.

He had become several things in the time since he had left his Uncle's manor. And, as he reflected on them, he wondered how many of them he actually liked to acknowledge.

He sighed, turning from the window and moving towards the aging mirror to view his reflection pensively.

A young man of clear noble pedigree stood before him, his long, wavy hair for once neatly pulled back from his face with precision and form designed to indicate his rank more than it was for his comfort. He was dressed not in the child's play robes of a well-born infant but in the _hakama_ and _montsuki _of a young adult, the crest of the Kyouraku clan imprinted clearly on the fine-woven, expensive fabric. It had been crafted by some of the most sought after weavers in the whole of Seireitei, Shunsui knew, and a sense of bitter irony touched his heart as he fingered the sleeves absently. Rich though it was, and tailored particularly to fit his own size specifications, somehow it seemed awkward and restrictive when he stopped to consider all the things that it meant. Over his shoulders hung the rose and ash sleeveless _katagimu_ that indicated his status as second most important son of the illustrious Eighth Clan, one step away, as tradition held, from the _haori _of the Clan leader himself.

A bitter smile touched his lips.

The Gotei _haori _was, he knew, modelled on the style that the Clans had long since adopted to mark out their superior members from the rest of the family, and somehow, by acknowledging any part of Noble tradition, Shunsui felt he was almost betraying his own prejudices against the Gotei by taking a step closer to accepting their existence. He had always yearned for freedom, after all. He had often tried to run away and hide from the metaphorical steel bars that had always encased his world. Yet here he was, two years on, embracing those bars and pulling them more tightly towards him.

He had accepted Tokutarou as leader of his Clan, and had allowed his brother to re-admit him to the family home. He had been reunited with his mother, and had escaped his Uncle's greedy clutches. Yet it had come at a high price.

He sighed, rubbing his temples.

In order to do so, he had had to acknowledge himself as being Tokutarou's true brother. And as such, he was Tokutarou's heir. At least, until his brother found a wife and had a son or daughter of his own. Yet so far Tokutarou had been far more concerned with stabilising the family's dwindling power and resources, and, more recently, with the threat of insurgence at Shunsui's old hunting ground.

It seemed that his Uncle had not yet completely given up the fight for control of the Kyouraku clan.

Shunsui bit his lip, sinking down onto the window-sill and stifling a yawn as he remembered the commotion that had raised him from his sleep that morning. It had been barely past dawn, he recalled, as one of Tokutarou's chief retainers had come banging on his door, urging him to rise and join his brother in the solar as soon as he was able. Through the blur of things that had happened next, he had managed to grasp the fact that there had been a serious incident at the Uncle's manor, with one blood-soaked retainer riding up to the gates of Tokutarou's stronghold only to fall gasping from his horse, choking out '_Treason_' before collapsing and dying at his master's feet.

Tokutarou's reaction had been immediate, and at the change in his expression, Shunsui had been almost chilled. Instead of the brother he had come to see as fair-minded and even kind, there had been a cold steel in the man's eyes and he had immediately ordered a party to go to the Uncle's estate to quell the trouble.

Shunsui had not had any choice but to come along as well, though he had had no wish to delve into his memories of the past by re-entering the other mansion. As they had arrived, he had slipped away from Tokutarou's main party, feeling in his heart that what was to come would result only in bloodshed. And bloodshed was something that he wanted no part in. No matter what.

To begin with, there had been a lot of commotion from the floors below but, as time had gone on, it had faded and died, till all Shunsui was aware of was the flickering, fluctuating auras of his brother, his brother's men and, defiant and strong, his resolute and obstinate Uncle. They had gathered in the Uncle's office, where Shunsui had received many a whipping in the years he had lived there, yet somehow by staying so far out of the way, the boy felt he had almost become a traitor.

A traitor to whom? He did not know.

_Perhaps, in the end, it's Father I'm betraying._

He gazed up at the slatted ceiling, making up his mind as he did so.

_I may hate it, but I've embraced it. If I can stop Tokutarou-nii from fighting Uncle, then I can prevent someone from dying. And if I can do that, then at least it will be better than when I watched Father die. That I couldn't change. Maybe this I can._

With this thought stirring inside of him, he pushed back the divide, stepping out into the hallway and making his way purposefully down the steps towards the place from which so many conflicting auras were flaring and clashing against one another. They were already in combat mode, Shunsui realised. But this would not be a fight like the one he had seen ten years earlier. Tokutarou was not like his Father in all ways. And he was a man who would fight, if he had to, to kill or be killed.  
_  
Which is why I have to stop them. Before more blood is spilled on the Kyouraku name._

As he reached the outer hall, he almost tripped over something and he faltered, putting his hands out to steady his fall against the wall as he glanced down to see what it was he had stumbled over. As he did so, his eyes widened in alarm and he half-wished he had not bothered, taking a hurried step back. Sprawled on the floor, his fine uniform blood-spattered and torn lay the ghostly corpse of his Uncle's chief retainer, Shikimura. A gash across his chest then his throat made it clear that his death had been a violent yet a quick one, and as Shunsui stepped gingerly over the body, he realised that the man had not even had time to fully draw his weapon from its sheath.

_Too late._

He frowned, shaking his head as if to clear it.

So Tokutarou had ordered a policy of no mercy, after all. Had he stayed, perhaps he would have been required to act in the same way, too.

He pushed this thought aside, reaching across to open the divide that separated him from the circling spiritual auras of his two closest living kinsmen, gathering his courage in his young heart as he shoved the wood back.

"Stop it!" he exclaimed, stepping into the room and holding up his hands. "Nii-sama! Ojisama! Stop fighting! Stop fighting now, please, before someone gets killed!"

"Shunsui!" Tokutarou faltered, staring at him in surprise at his sudden entrance, and the Uncle's expression became derisive as he lunged forwards, as if to take advantage of Tokutarou's sudden distraction. Tokutarou was quick to recover, however, parrying the other man's blade away from him as he steadied his own stance.

"Shunsui, what are you doing?" He demanded. "You understand, don't you? Better than anyone, what this man is. What he is to this family? What his continued presence here means, more than anything else?"

"Yes." Shunsui said desperately. "I understand, Nii-sama. I understand that he's my Uncle, and you're my brother. And family shouldn't kill each other, no matter what!"

"What naive stories did your nursemaids teach you when you were a baby, Shunsui?" His Uncle demanded derisively, brushing his sweat-drenched hair from his face as he cast the boy a scornful glance. "Even now, dressed like that, you understand nothing about Clan politics, do you?"

"I understand that I _hate _them." Shunsui said fiercely. "And that they're full of things that shouldn't be allowed to happen."

"Shunsui..." Tokutarou sighed, shaking his head. "Listen. I told you, didn't I, when I first came to take you from this place? That I would act if need be. The time has come. Do you realise that, if I don't, this man will continue to eat away at our family from the inside? That he'll continue to kill innocent men in his quest for power - more, he'll continue to sacrifice his duties as a member of the Kyouraku in order to extort services from the surrounding areas and form his own private armies? Do you know what oath we swore as a clan the day Seireitei was divided into eight segments? We swore to uphold the peace for the people over whom we ruled. Which is why this is the only solution. In order to preserve that oath, I have to eliminate the threat. Even if that threat is my blood kin."

Shunsui hesitated for a moment, then he shook his head, making his way very purposefully across the floor until he was positioned directly between the two fighting men.

"Then eliminate me, too." He said baldly. "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all of it. This way it's okay for people to kill their family just because if they do, no one does anything about it."

"Shunsui!" Despite himself, Tokutarou lowered his blade. "Are you even listening? As Clan leader, my duty to the people in Seireitei is greater than anything else. I can't protect someone who's causing others harm. It's not a matter of killing for the sake of killing. It's a matter of preserving the peace!"

"_You_ can say that, you who have no loyalty to this family at all." His Uncle spat out. "_You_ who were raised by the Shiba-ke don't care how much Kyouraku blood you spill to take full control of the clan, do you? Even if it means filling your ranks with Shiba-trained men, and allowing our proud family to become subsidiary to theirs? I've never accepted it. I _never _accepted Matsuhara's marriage to a Shiba and I still don't. When he sent you away, I knew it would end badly. I knew a time would come when I'd have to eliminate you, too - only for too long you were well outside of my reach."

His eyes narrowed, chilling Shunsui right to the bone as the two, Uncle and nephew met gazes properly for the first time in two years.

"As for _you_, you are your Father's son, after all." He muttered. "Preaching such weak, fanciful values without even understanding what you're talking about. You have no idea what this family is built on, or how easily it can fall to pieces without someone strong and capable at the helm!"

"All I understand is that it seems to be built on blood and betrayal." Shunsui snapped out, his anger rising inside of him at this. "And that too many people have already died just from being involved with the family in one way or another. Father knew that, didn't he? That's why he didn't want to fight. Why he hung up his sword. Why he didn't want to take it and fight you, even when you threw it down in front of him."

His voice became nothing more than a whisper, as he struggled with his suppressed emotions.

"That's why he let you kill him, isn't it?" He murmured. "Because he felt it better to die than to kill his own brother."

"Shunsui!" Tokutarou's eyes widened in horror. "You...you _knew_ that? All the time you were here...damn you, you bastard!"

He wheeled on his Uncle angrily, and had Shunsui not been in the way, a fatal blow would surely have been struck straight through the older man's lean form. "If I find you gloated to a young boy about such things..."

"I don't believe I ever had any such conversation with him." The Uncle shook his head. "It was no business of a child, after all. His business was to learn and to obey. He was surprisingly poor at both things, and therefore he was disciplined. I certainly didn't take him into any confidences regarding his father. The less he had to do with that man's memory the better."

"Then...?" Tokutarou's gaze flitted back to Shunsui, who was trembling now, a force unlike anything he had ever felt before swirling and welling up inside of him as the secret he had kept suppressed inside for ten years threatened to overwhelm his whole self. He bit his lip, tears glittering on his lashes, but he forced them back, determined not to let his Uncle have the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

"No one ever told me about how Father died. Not even Mother. Not even now." He managed, in tones that sounded foreign to his ears. "No one ever had to. I was there, Nii-sama. When Father fell, I was there. I saw it. I felt it. _I was there_."

"What?!" Now Tokutarou's expression became enraged, and he charged forward, pushing his brother aside as he launched himself at his Uncle, taking the man off-guard and pinning him up against the wall. "You bastard, you let a _child_ see something like that? Not only did you steal Father's life, you also did it in front of a six year old boy?"

"_Nii-sama_!" Shunsui exclaimed, stumbling forward to try and pull his brother back, but Tokutarou's rage was complete and he merely pushed Shunsui aside once more, shaking his head impatiently.

"That's what you said, isn't it?" He demanded. "That you saw Father be killed by this creature, in cold blood?"

"I was hiding. No one ever knew I was there." Shunsui murmured.

"That doesn't change it." Tokutarou's eyes narrowed, and he turned his attention back to his hapless prisoner.

"I hated you the moment I knew Father had died at your hand." He murmured. "But I knew that killing you outright would achieve nothing except more chaos and bloodshed. So I let you live. Against my better judgement, I did. Because I didn't want to cause the Clan more shame and distress by taking rash action. Besides, Shunsui didn't want me to do it. And so I didn't. I didn't need to alienate him, after all - unlike you, I take seriously the fact he and I are blood brothers and yet were complete strangers until two years ago. I didn't want him to think me a monster, so I held back."

His eyes glittered.

"Now I find that you've done your best to gather resistance forces here to challenge me, and have killed men I trusted." He continued, his tones almost too low for Shunsui to hear clearly. "I find there have been pleas for help from local towns and villages about disease and plague and you've ignored those pleas unless the people have agreed to fight for you against me and my people here. And now I find, to top it all off, that you let my brother witness your arbitrary assassination of the Clan's true leader. How much lower can you fall?"

"I had no idea the boy had witnessed it, but even if he did, it's no bad thing for him to have learnt early on that vices are punished." The Uncle gathered his strength, pushing Tokutarou back at last and regaining his grasp on his weapon. "You have a glorified view of your Father, Tokutarou. He was barely more than a shadow in Shunsui's life - a man who indulged his sins more than his family obligations, and who barely even acknowledged that he had sons at all. He was a shell of a man when I killed him. All I did was end a life that cried out to be ended. I cut away dead wood. That's all."

Shunsui's head snapped up at this, horror in his brown eyes at the cruel, casual nature of his Uncle's dismissal.

"Father...was dead wood?" He murmured. "Even though...he was your brother? You never...cared about him at all?"

"I hated him." the Uncle responded simply. "Brothers are competition. Elder brothers the worst kind. I tried to teach you that, Shunsui. But you were remarkably slow to learn."

His gaze flitted to Tokutarou.

"In the end, this one may pretend he cares for you." He added. "But in truth, you're his pawn. He keeps you close so you can't turn on him. That's all it amounts to, in the end. Clan loyalty and all of that. The ideal and image of the family is more than the sum of its parts. Nothing else matters. Nothing except keeping the Kyouraku clan in its rightful place."

Shunsui's face drained of all colour, his Uncle's words reverberating through his young soul as he was overwhelmed by the cold disdain that suddenly radiated from the older man's body. He had always known it, deep down inside, what kind of a man his Uncle was. He had felt it, after all, that first day they had met. But there, in that room, he knew it even more clearly. Nothing had changed, not even in two years. His Uncle was still his Uncle. And he...he was still his Father's son.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

"Then I don't care." He said softly, pain in every word as he made up his mind. "If Tokutarou-niisama feels that way, and decides, in the future, that he wants to get rid of me like you did Father - I don't care. I don't intend on ever fighting against him, so if he wants to, it'll be easy to get rid of me. I'm Father's son, after all. I don't want to fight or kill anyone. Not even you, Uncle. Because killing never solved anything. If you kill someone, you can't negotiate with them any more. You can't come to terms or find a way to meet on common ground."

He swallowed hard.

"Father was sad when he died." He whispered. "Even then, I could feel it. But maybe, if he hadn't died, he might not have been so sad always. Maybe, something would have happened to change that. Maybe I could have done something, or Mother, or Nii-sama. But he died, so he never had that chance. And I don't think that's right. Because the only time you have to resolve things is while you're alive, after all. There's nothing that can be done once you're dead."

"Shun...sui?" Tokutarou's sword slipped from his grip at this, clattering to the floor as he stared at his brother in disbelief. "What are you..."

"I don't want any more killing." Shunsui's tears couldn't be held back any more. "I'm fed up with it, Nii-sama! I'd rather be killed than let you kill anyone!"

"Even though this man killed our Father?"

"Even if he did, it doesn't make it the right thing to do, to kill him too." Shunsui shook his head. "I hate him and I think he's cold and sad and twisted inside, Nii-sama. I'll never feel any different. But that doesn't mean I want to kill him. If I did, maybe I'd be cold and twisted and bleak, too. Killing someone does that to you, after all. Mother's said more than once that it was that concept that destroyed Father, in the end. I don't want that kind of life. So I want you to stop. Both of you."

"And what? Negotiate terms?" The Uncle asked derisively. "With nephews barely out of their childhood years? Do you think I'd accept something so belittling?"

Tokutarou sighed.

"Shunsui's right." He said at length. "Enough. Killing you won't bring back Father and it won't change anything. And if he feels that way, I'm not going to let him stand there and witness another scene of carnage between kinsmen. I'm not like Father, maybe. But I'm not like you, either. I have no desire to hurt my brother."

The Uncle glared at him for a moment, and the tension in the room could have been sliced through by a sword in that instant of cold silence. Then, just as Shunsui thought it would become unbearable, the older man let out a snort of disgust.

"So, Matsuhara, in the end the last laugh was yours after all, was it?" He murmured. "But you won't win in all regards. I won't pander to the whims of foolish boys. This family was founded on proud military tradition, a tradition that's been all but eroded away by the fools that have led it astray. If the Clan is going to hell, let it go. I won't watch it fall. I won't give you that satisfaction."

Before either Tokutarou or Shunsui could move, he raised his weapon, drawing it swiftly and cleanly across his throat as he fell to his knees, tumbling forward onto the floor as blood began to pool out around him in an ever growing arc of crimson liquid. The corpse twitched for a moment, then lay still, and Shunsui knew that, with his Uncle's expert sword skills, it had been a quick and deliberate death.

His heart clenched in his throat, first with revulsion and then, belatedly, with relief. He drew a shaky breath into his lungs.

"I'm sorry, Shunsui." Tokutarou came across to join him. "You wanted him to live, didn't you?"

"Maybe...it _is_ better this way." Shunsui admitted shakily. "If he felt...so strongly as that. I just...I didn't want you to kill him, Nii-sama. And it's not that I wanted Uncle to die - I didn't want anyone to die. But more I didn't want another member of the family to be killed by one of his kin. Not like Father was. That's all."

"You really saw it, didn't you?"

Shunsui nodded.

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"It was a long time ago. There was nothing you or anyone could do about it."

"And even so, you lived here with that man for eight years, even knowing he'd murdered your Father?"

"I didn't have much choice." Shunsui spread his hands. "I suppose I learnt to cope with it, because I had to. Besides, not all my memories here are bad ones. I..."

He frowned, shooting his brother an alarmed look.

"Wait. Before, what did you say, Nii-sama? About the local villages and towns? And...did you say...plague?"

"A contaminated water supply that's spread through three or four of the towns nearby, and caused a number of sicknesses and deaths." Tokutarou frowned. "The remedy is here, and prepared by Uncle's men. But only administered to people who swore him fealty over me. Most wouldn't. Not even desperate - they knew that if I sent an army, they'd be in even more trouble for acting on his side, after all. But...Shunsui? What is it?"

Shunsui swallowed hard, trying to get his thoughts in order, but one thing was at the forefront of his mind.

_Saku._

"I want to take the medicine to the towns." He said frankly. "Now, as quickly as I can. Because..."

"I'm going to see to it that it's done, Shunsui, there's no need to..."

"No. There_ is_ a need to." Shunsui shook his head. "Tell me where the remedy is, Oniisama. Please. Tell me now. I have to go myself. It's not something I can easily explain, but...I have to. I need...I need to ascertain something for myself. And if there's something I can do - even if it's a very little thing...then I have to do it."

He clenched his fists.

"I _owe_ it."

* * *

_**Author's Note  
**_  
_So they had horses in ancient Soul Society :P Well, they did now :P Horses die too, right...? :D_


	13. 13: Ukitake: Winter Vow

_**Winter Vow**_

It was Winter.

The path up into the mountain was frozen today, the branches of the trees silent and devoid of their usual bright foliage, making the forest seem more like a mausoleum of memories than a vibrant place of life. The air was chill, and Juushirou was aware that every exhale of breath became a cloud of steam, dissipating into the atmosphere like mist over the crest of the swirling sea waves. Somehow, despite the icy bleakness, he felt a shade comforted by this analogy. It had been, after all, a long time since he had last walked this path. And yet, he knew better than anyone else that it was time he did so.

Time to put this fear behind him, just as one by one he had eliminated the other things in his way.

Today was his sixteenth birthday, after all. And as he gazed up at the frost-hazed sky, Juushirou found his thoughts flitting to his mother. Sixteen years ago, she had made a decision that had impacted on them both forever. One had lived and one had died...even now, sometimes, Juushirou wondered whether or not the decision had been right.

But it could not be changed, so it was not his place to fret.

On that night, of course, there had been bitter and violent storms that had raged up and down the landscape. Juushirou had not questioned this fact for some time, but since he had spoken to the two fish he had begun to wonder whether or not there was some reason why he had always felt as much kinship with thunder and lightning as he had with the sea surf that lapped relentlessly against the cove.

His mother's love, his father's fortitude.

He frowned.

Had that encounter been a dream? A fever-induced hallucination?

Even now Juushirou did not know for sure. For some reason, too, he had kept the matter to himself, unsure how to confide such a strange yet compelling encounter to the people around him. The fish and the world they inhabited had seemed real enough at the time, and even though it had been some months since that moment, he could still picture them vividly in his mind, their voices and expressions ingrained deep onto his very soul. Even now, the very thought of them gave him a comfort and peace that he had not easily known since his Father's death, and whenever he had felt his courage or conviction failing, their words had echoed through his head, giving him the strength to push on.

But there were many questions, he knew. Questions with no answers, and no one left who could easily answer them.

So he had made the difficult decision to come here, braving the cold weather and unpleasant memories to face his last and most deep-rooted fear.

To enter once again the forest where he had met the Hollow.

"I was surprised, you know, when you said you wanted to walk up here."

As Juushirou pushed through the thick frost-coated branches that led towards the copse beyond, his companion raised his voice, and the teenager paused, turning to cast his tutor a questioning glance.

"Today of all days, and with me as company." Kamikura paused, resting his hand against the trunk of a nearby tree as he did so. "It's cold and you're only just on the road to real recovery, Juushirou-sama. Why did you feel this was so important?"

"I'm a long way off my former health yet, I know that." Juushirou murmured, a troubled look in his hazel green eyes as he nodded his head. "I realise that, sensei, and I'm sorry to have troubled you with my selfish whim. But the truth is, you were the only one I wanted to come here with today. Because more than anyone, you understood Father. And he trusted you...he trusted you to teach me about things that other people didn't talk about. So it seemed to make sense. Besides..."

He spread his hands.

"Today is my sixteenth birthday." He said softly. "Sixteen years ago, my mother brought me into the world, and sacrificed herself to ensure that I survived. Father told me that it was her love that kept me going, but I'm not sure. Since Father died, too, I've wondered about something else. I wonder...if somehow...I stole their strength. That in order for me to live...they gave me everything they had."

"That's a rather sweeping assumption." Kamikura looked startled. "And what? You thought that if it was the case, I'd know?"

"More, if it was the case, you'd be the only one to tell me so honestly." Juushirou admitted. "I feel you've always done that, sensei. You've never babied or protected me. Even when I was a boy of eight, you talked to me about the Gotei and the implications and dangers of the Hollows...dangers I understand now only too well. So I thought I would ask."

He looked pensive.

"I know that you were the last person my Father spoke to, before he died." He added. "Okaasama said that he asked for a moment alone with you, once the physician had confirmed the wound he received was fatal. And I don't know what it was he told you - or if it's even my business at all. But I wanted to know whether that was what he meant."

"What do you imagine I know about spirit power, given this reiatsu-starved body of mine?" Kamikura asked lightly. "I'm sorry, Juushirou-sama. In matters of that nature, I'm not qualified to speak. But why this all of a sudden? Why would you think you had taken your parents' strength?"

"Something happened to me here." Juushirou paused at the edge of the copse, fighting back the cold waves of dread that stirred within him as unbidden the sense of the Hollow's encroaching aura once more flooded his thoughts. "I don't know what, but I changed. Something was different and it hasn't gone back to how it was before. That's all."

He sighed, closing his eyes briefly as the memories rushed away.

"Father died from the injuries he sustained against the Hollow." He murmured. "He came to save me, and he used unknown techniques to try and drive the monster away from me. But I...something invaded me. Something that was never there before. And I couldn't stop it. Something powerful and strong. Someone...after that, someone told me that it was my own raw strength pushing through me. But it was never there before. Only from that time. And...I suppose...I wondered how much I owed to my parents after all. And whether that power only became a proper part of me because they...they stopped living their own lives and started living...well...inside of me somehow."

"Started living inside of you?" Kamikura eyed him keenly. "Someone spoke to you about all of this? Can I ask who?"

"Not really." Juushirou reddened slightly. "Because I don't...I don't totally know for sure myself if I dreamed it or if it was real. So I suppose I'm looking to qualify those things for myself. It's hard to explain. Impossible to put into words, in fact, even though it sounds stupid. But I feel somehow like they are inside of me, sometimes. And it's made me want to understand, properly, what happened."

He glanced at his hands.

"Father was strong and decisive and he never had doubts." He added quietly. "Of all people, Sensei, I loved and admired him most for those things. Losing him was unimaginable...but I wonder...if he gave me his strength that day. If, like mother, he used his own power to keep me safe, instead of protecting himself against danger."

"Because something surged inside of you then that hadn't before?"

"Yes."

Kamikura was silent for a moment, then he spread his hands.

"You've been thinking about this for some time, and a quick, casual dismissal from me won't settle your mind any, I know." he reflected. "Equally, though, I don't want to keep you here in the cold for long when your chest is still so prone to picking up infections. You're a lot better than you were, make no mistake. But even so, you're not as strong as you were before your Father's death, and I'm aware that he'd be cross if I put you at risk simply to satisfy adolescent curiosity."

"But you do know something?" Hope flared in Juushirou's gaze, and Kamikura shook his head.

"All I can tell you is that your mother's name Raiko was written with the kanji for 'lightning' and 'child'." He said softly. "You knew that, though, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I..."

"Raiko-sama was never trained to the point where she summoned a _zanpakutou _or properly mastered her powers." Kamikura added softly. "But I know that she spoke once or twice of something within her that seemed to sparkle and crackle with energy and life. She didn't know what it was, and I can't tell you any more, either. But I know that's the truth."

"Mother had...that kind of power?"

"The magic that your Father did to drive off the Hollow was taught him by your mother." Kamikura continued. "He only ever learnt three Kidou techniques, and none of them very well, sadly. Your Father was an Ukitake of Ukitake lineage, and nothing out of the norm. He had just enough spirit power to fire the spells, and that was all. But your Mother was truly powerful. Potentially. She was very strong indeed."

"But she had me, and she died."

"Yes." Kamikura agreed. "And I don't know it for sure, Juushirou-sama. But it's my suspicion that the reason she did is because, strong as she was, she used her power to protect something stronger. That thing which surged inside of you when you met the Hollow wasn't her power, or your Father's. It was your own - the power you were born with. The storms that night were probably your unguarded spiritual energy, not Raiko-sama's. Most people assume it was hers, but your Father never said as much, and I don't think so, either. Raiko-sama exhausted her spirit power quelling yours - because yours was so powerful that it stopped you from breathing."

He smiled.

"She wasn't going to have that." He added. "She was a mother with a son she loved about to be stolen from her arms. She wasn't going to give up - what Mother would? So she didn't. However much it took, she held you and soothed you until it quieted enough for you to be able to breathe."

"But..." Juushirou stared, and Kamikura shrugged.

"That's how I believe it happened." He said lightly. "From what your Father told me about Raiko-sama's death, and from what I knew of your Mother herself. Your Father protected you - everyone always has protected you - because of that strength you have that none of your siblings do. Because of that, you never had any occasion to use it. But when the Hollow came at you - that was different. Your natural defences kicked in and your own spirit power flared."

He rested his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Sadly, your poor body wasn't ready for it." He murmured. "I'm glad you're better now than you were then. Your Father was worried about you, right up till he died. He knew you were hurt, and he knew why. He was afraid for you, and he asked me to look out for you as much as I could - if I could. That's what he asked me, when he died. To take care of his eldest son and his very special gifts. So that something like that couldn't hurt you so badly again."

Juushirou was silent, digesting this slowly.

"So he came to protect me not from the Hollow but from myself?" He whispered. "Because I might have _killed_ the Hollow, the way energy was flaring around me - but I might also have killed _myself_ in the process?"

"Yes."

"But...then...did I make Father's injuries worse?" Juushirou looked anxious. "If it's that way, surely..."

"Your Father was dealt a fatal blow by the claw of the Hollow." Kamikura said frankly. "Nothing you did or didn't do had any bearing on his death. It was entirely his choice, and that's all. Don't dwell on it again, Juushirou. Not today, especially. You're here and you're alive -and coming back here took courage, I know. If you want to believe they're still living inside of you, then do so - if it helps you form your resolve, thinking they leant you their strength, then there's no harm in it. After all, all children carry at least some part of their parents forward into their own lives. But don't make today sad. You came here to honour your father's memory, didn't you? Do that instead. Don't grieve his death, but honour his life."

"You're right." Juushirou looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, Sensei. I'm not going to become morose."

He sighed.

"I did that for too long." He murmured. "Not any more."

He pursed his lips, then,

"Does Okaasama know about this? That I'm not physically strong enough to control my own energy? Because..."

"You seem to be controlling it fine now." Kamikura reminded him lightly. "And yes, she knows. Of course she does."

"Chi-chan said she felt it, when I was angry with her once." Juushirou murmured. "But I don't want to hurt her or anyone by letting it loose. If it's really part of me. I am controlling it, maybe, but it takes a toll on my body. I'm not as strong as people think I am. If I can't even hold together my spirit power, I'm really not that strong at all. And if I don't control it..."

"You've managed this long, and all that's happened now is that the boundaries have changed. You're aware of what you weren't before, and that's part of growing up." Kamikura said softly. "Every time your health improves, it means you're gaining another level of control over it. That's all. You're naturally weak in terms of your physiology. Your chest is always going to be your greatest downfall. But so long as your scars are healing and your fevers subsiding, you're not doing yourself any further harm. And that's all you can do for the time being. Just concentrate on getting well. So long as you do that, it's under control. Isn't it?"

"I suppose so." Juushirou acknowledged. "I'll just have to keep clear of any Hollows, and then it will be all right."

He smiled faintly.

"Please, Sensei, I'd rather you didn't mention this conversation to Okaasama, or to my siblings." He added. "If Okaasama knows, then she does, but I don't want her to think it's concerning me in any way. She'll worry about me, then, and it's not her place to do so. And as for the others - some of them are still too young to understand that I'm different from them in any way. I don't know if they even fully appreciate, sometimes, that I'm only their half-brother and not their full brother. So it's a complication they don't need to know."

"There's no reason to discuss it with them." Kamikura agreed. "Though I think you're wrong about one thing. You've always been their brother, just as to Kaede-sama you've always been her son. Not by blood, perhaps - but this family's always seemed stronger than just blood ties. Don't you agree?"

"Without doubt." Juushirou acknowledged. "Even though now, both my parents are gone - I don't feel orphaned or abandoned, sensei. Not even a little. The woman who was my mother is a mysterious figure to me. The one who I've always considered in that role is Okaasama. So even though it's not the case, I know how lucky I am. Which is why I don't want to upset things by pointing out the disparities."

He grimaced, fingering his lank hair.

"Bad enough this hasn't turned back to black." He added. "I stand out enough now from the others without more complications."

"Your eyes aside, you look more like your mother than your father these days." Kamikura observed. "And the white hair is striking, but not in a bad sense. It's just become part of you, I suppose. Juushirou, the Winter baby. That's all."

"Hiro-kun's taken to calling me 'Shiro-nii" lately, because of it." Juushirou said ruefully. "I think he thinks it's the most clever name in the world, though I suppose it shows that even though my health has been so bad, my siblings haven't become afraid of me. A new nickname is a small price to pay, in the end – Hiro and Chi-chan are both old enough to understand much more than some of the others, after all."

"You've always been closest to the both of them." Kamikura agreed. "They're almost as smart as you, too, so perhaps that's why."

He eyed his companion keenly.

"Though circumstances have aged you beyond your years on many occasions." He murmured. "Whereas for the most part Hiroyuki-sama and Chihiro-sama are both still very innocent in many ways."

"I'm not sure." Juushirou pursed his lips. "Things Chi-chan's said to me…I think she understands things more than she lets on, sometimes."

He stretched, stifling a shiver as a chill breeze whipped across the copse, and Kamikura was immediately alert.

"We should head back, if you're cold." He suggested. "A brisk walk should get some warmth into your bones at least."

"Not yet." Juushirou pulled his cloak more tightly around his thin frame, shaking his head. "I have one more place to go, first."

"One more?"

"Mmm." Juushirou nodded, gesturing towards a pathway flanked with silver-frosted trees. "Father took me there, to show me Seireitei and I loved coming to see it before he died. I never saw it in Winter, though. And I'd like to. Because like you said, I'm a Winter baby. So in a sense, this is the world I came into, isn't it?"

"I can't argue with your logic, but we won't dally there long." Kamikura relented. "That you want to push your strength and keep on makes me glad – you really are much more the boy I knew before than the invalid you'd seemed to become. But even so, there's no sense in stupid risks. All right?"

"All right. Last place, I promise, then we'll head right back." Juushirou nodded, relief flickering in his hazel green eyes. "Thank you, sensei. I appreciate it."

For a while they walked in silence, the only sound the soft tread of their sandals against the frozen ground. Then, as they reached their destination, Juushirou let out an exclamation, hurrying forward and dropping down to his knees at the far side of the ledge, disbelief in his gaze.

"You'll freeze, on the ground like that. Stand up, before you do!" Kamikura said anxiously, but Juushirou held up his hands to stop his teacher interfering, shaking his head.

"No, I won't." He murmured. "I won't freeze. I won't die. I won't let anything like that happen. I'm sure of it now, Sensei. There are more ways than one to become a tree, after all – I just didn't know it till now."

"I'm sorry?" Kamikura stared. "Become…a tree? What are you talking about, Juushirou-sama?"

"This." Juushirou reached out a tentative hand, brushing his finger gently against the frozen stem of a young tree as he raised a gaze to his companion. "When the Hollow attacked me, Sensei, this is what I'd come here to see. This sapling. But the Hollow crushed it. It snapped the trunk clean in two and trampled it into the ground. And I thought…I thought it was killed. I thought that it hadn't made it to being a tree, after all."

He sighed, sitting back on his heels.

"But in the time since I last came here, it's not given up at all." He murmured. "Its main trunk was broken, yet it's put out new shoots and is still continuing to grow. I guess it wasn't ready to die yet. And I'm not ready to, either. I know that now more than I ever have."

"I still don't completely understand…"

Juushirou sent his tutor a rueful glance, getting to his feet.

"Seeds that sprout win the first battle, but they still have a long way before becoming trees." He said softly. "People are the same way. Being born is a victory, but there's still a lot to do before they reach a point where they're strong and able to hold their own ground. Father taught me that. Using this tree, he taught me that I could be a tree too, one day."

He shrugged.

"The sapling didn't give up. Things changed and it adapted." He added. "And I think I'm meant to do the same. I'm not the same as I was before Father died. I fight a more difficult battle with my body every day now than I did when I was younger, and I know a lot more things I didn't know then. But I can still grow. I can still go forwards. And maybe, I can become a tree. Just like the sapling is trying to be."

"Your father was full of surprising logic, wasn't he?" Kamikura chuckled. "But now you've explained I can't fault him on this one. There's no doubt in my mind at all, Juushirou-sama. You're destined to be a tree someday. Just like he said."

* * *

_**Author's note:**_

_Ah, here it is! Juu's Chapter 13 ;) Hehe!_

Since I've explained Juushirou's mother's name Raiko now, I'll explain his father Hidenobu's as well. It's written 秀信_ (using the kanji for "to excel/exceptional" and "faith/belief"_

_Also, someone asked me___

_**Why aren't Tokutarou and his uncle using Shikai etc in their fight?**_

_ It's a fair enough question, I think, and simple enough one to answer. Because they're not Shinigami._

_In the ancient world I've been basing my story in, they're still learning a lot about the power available to them, and so raising a zanpakutou even to Shikai level is a rare and particularly significant event. Though every Gotei representative masters it, not all Clan leaders do, irrespective of their position, power and physical strength ;) Bankai is even rarer - to date there are only three Shinigami who've mastered it (though they aren't going to be properly referenced in this story because they're not relevant to Shun or Juu right now). Hollows are dispatched in the same manner that the Quincy disposed of them - which is why the balance of their world is in peril and why Hollows are breaking through into Seireitei as well as Rukongai. That's why killing them destroyed Matsuhara so much - because he was eliminating souls, not freeing or purifying them. And he could never quite forgive himself for that fact._

_Matsuhara was the last and so far the only Kyouraku Shinigami referenced in this story. He of course had Shikai, but he didn't use it against his brother because he had no intention of killing him and preferred to be killed than to commit fratricide. All of this is why Shunsui's position in the clan is so significant in the struggles between his Uncle and his brother, because he's his father's son._

_There's no space to explain the finer points of all that here, since this story is just a collection of individual scenes. However, if I finish the Academy story, everything will be made a lot clearer for all of the Clans and the different ways in which they do things. That is providing anyone is brave enough to read it *hehe* :)  
_


	14. 14: Kyouraku: Farewell

_**Farewell**_

There was a strange atmosphere hanging over the small settlement as Shunsui hurried through the abandoned town gates, pausing to catch his breath as he gazed around at his surroundings with a mixture of dismay and horror in his clever dark eyes.

When he had lived with his Uncle, they had ridden through here once or twice on a particular errand. Yet Shunsui found he almost didn't recognise it as the same place.

Brightly coloured signs that had indicated this or that merchant or tradesman's base had faded and fallen into disrepair, and where children had once played in the fountain at the centre of the town, there was now no one in sight. Though it seemed empty and deserted, to Shunsui's keen senses, the touch of death was all around him, and he swallowed hard, almost afraid to take another step.

But he hadn't come here for that reason.

He steeled himself, slipping his fingers into the folds of his expensive clan clothing as they closed reassuringly around the vial that he had hidden there before slipping out of his Uncle's manor. His brother had been too occupied with the aftermath of the bloody battle to properly stop him, and in that split-second, Shunsui had taken advantage of his long and detailed memory of the grounds, using the shortest routes he knew to get onto the main traveller's road towards the border between his family's jurisdiction and the neighbouring Endou land. He had not known how long he had run for, but somehow his fear had given wings to his feet, as though somehow his urgency had propelled him to his destination more quickly and now, as he gathered his courage, he realised that every second might count.

It was a ghost town, maybe. But it was not entirely deserted.

Shunsui frowned, stretching out his senses tentatively as he searched for the familiar flicker of an old, comforting reiatsu somewhere in the surrounding area. Though he had never fully appreciated it when he had been living with his Uncle, he had developed a keen sense of each individual's traits as he had grown, knowing when they meant friend or foe, and it had begun to be almost second-nature to him, like an instinct he was not fully conscious of having but was able to use nonetheless.

And now he was focusing every single shred of that instinct on finding one thing.

The thin, yet unmistakeable trace of Saku's reiatsu.

As he caught the faintest brush of it against his thoughts, his eyes widened and, as though he had got his second wind he was off again, pushing through the dusty streets towards the furthest limit of the town's boundaries. There, as he reached the top of the rise, he saw the old, raggedy building that Saku had described to him on more than one occasion. Even this he had stored somewhere in his memories, he reflected ruefully, his heart aching slightly as he remembered once again their parting. He had not seen her in almost two years, and that parting stare of accusation was still burnt into his soul. Yet this was not a time to be afraid of recriminations. He had not come here to beg Saku's forgiveness or even to try and convince her to re-begin their friendship. He had come with the intention of saving her life.

He pushed his hands tentatively against the door, finding it swung back under his touch quite easily and he frowned, aware that the lack of fastening was not a good sign. Yet, he reflected darkly, who would rob a house in a ghost town racked by plague? Those townsfolk who could flee had already done so, taking their belongings and, probably, the disease over the border to other unsuspecting townships. The ones who had stayed behind had been those too weak or ill to move, and Shunsui knew that the superstitions surrounding illness in this region of Seireitei was high.

Though his brother had said it was a matter of contaminated water, Shunsui realised that to the people hereabouts, it was just as likely to be viewed as a curse of fate.

He pushed the thought from his mind, glancing quickly around the lower level of the house as he ascertained that the subject of his search was not there. The ground floor was deserted, however, and he paused for a moment, steadying his breathing as he gazed up the rickety, broken staircase to the upper floors. Saku's reiatsu radiated like a faint, unsteady beacon calling to him, and despite their two years apart, Shunsui realised how much he had missed her in the interim time.

Yet now was not a moment for sentiment. He frowned, hardening his heart as, carefully and nimbly he began to scale the dangerous steps, judging the weak points in the wood with a critical eye as he avoided them each one by one. As he reached the top of the landing, he felt the sense of Saku's reiatsu grow stronger, and he focused his mind on nothing but locating her whereabouts.

"Who are you?"

A faint voice came from behind him, and he swung around, eyes widening in alarm as he recognised the speaker. She was pale and thin, her dark hair pulled back from her face in a dusty tail, and the eyes that had once reflected life and freedom were now mere hollows of darkness, staring at him in weary confusion. At his alarm, she frowned, her fingers tightening around something in her hand, and Shunsui realised it was a broom she had grabbed with the intent of fending off attackers. In that instant, he realised that she did not recognise him, either - that now, even though as then he was dressed in fine fabrics, they were not the garments of a high-born child but a young man now old enough to carry the responsibilities of his family's pride. At sixteen, he was now an adult, and Tokutarou's official blood heir.

Despite himself, his heart clenched. Who was he now, then, that she could look at him that way? And who was _she_? Their childhood together seemed more distant than ever, the gap put between them by his Uncle's high-handedness a chasm that had become unbreachable.

He frowned, suppressing the emotion as he bowed his head towards her.

"I've come to help you." He said softly. "There's plague here, after all. I've come from the manor with medicine."

"Medicine?" Saku stared at him blankly, then she let out a low, hard chuckle, no humour in her dark gaze. "What use is medicine? The people have long gone. They'll have taken their disease to someplace else, now. You shouldn't worry yourself too much about it. It's not your problem now, after all. Like as not they've crossed the border into Endou land. It will be up to them to fix now."

Shunsui shook his head.

"You misunderstand." He said simply. "I didn't come with medicine to save the town. I came to bring it to _you_, Saku-chan."

At the familiar use of her name, Saku's eyes widened, and she stared at him in disbelief, the broom slipping from her grasp and clattering forgotten onto the floor. For a moment there was silence, then she darted forward, reaching up to pull loose Shunsui's hairtie in one swift, fluid movement. As she did so, she whispered a curse, letting the wavy brown hair fall loose across the boy's shoulders.

"_S..Shunsui_?" She whispered, and Shunsui nodded his head, gravity in his dark brown eyes.

"I'm afraid so." he agreed. "I'm sorry, Saku. I know I'm not someone you want to see - now or ever, most likely. You probably consider this my fault, too. I know I do. But even so...even though it's all I can do..."

He slid his fingers into his _obi_, pulling out the vial and holding it out. Saku stared at it, then, slowly, she took it, tears glittering in her dark eyes as she ran her fingers over the lid with trembling hands.

"You came to save me?" She whispered, and Shunsui nodded.

"Yes." He said frankly. "It was owed, after all."

Saku swallowed hard, reaching up to dash away her tears. Slowly she shook her head, setting the vial down on the unit.

"You're too late." She murmured. "It wasn't me who needed the remedy. I...I'm not sick. But Father...Father died this morning."

Shunsui froze, ice piercing through his heart as he stared at her in dismay, and Saku bit her lip.

"You can't cure death, not even if you are Noble born." She said quietly. "Even you're surely not that much of a fool, Shunsui."

Shunsui sighed, closing his eyes briefly as he composed himself.

"I should have come more quickly." He muttered. "I shouldn't have let my Brother...but..."

"You can't save the world, you know." Saku shook her head. "I don't understand why you came here, to be honest. It's not as though there's anything for us to talk about, these days. You're not who you were the last time we met, and I'm not, either, after all."

Shunsui gazed at her for a moment, reaching out a tentative finger to touch her tear-sprinkled, grimy cheek.

"You will_ always_ be Saku-chan to me." He said softly. "And I'm sorry, that it was too little, too late. You're right...there's no benefit in being born into this level of society. All that happens is that people die. My Uncle should have stopped this sooner, but he didn't. Because of his own agenda, he didn't do anything to help the people here. I won't forget that. Even now he's dead, he's still making people suffer."

Saku pursed her lips, reaching up to gently push his hand away.

"I wasn't angry at you, that day, when we were sent away." She whispered. "I was angry at me, for doing something to let my father down. But you weren't like a noble son to me, then. You weren't like this, dressed in the fine clothing of your clan. You wouldn't even wear the Kyouraku insignia then, except by force. But you...we...were children, then. We're not now, are we?"

Shunsui shook his head.

"No." He agreed gravely. "Though I don't think it's possible to be a child in this world, to be honest with you. From the moment you're born, it's simply a matter of trying to survive."

"There you go again, saying the same horrible truths without a moment's consideration." Saku said sadly. "But you don't understand in so many ways. There are things you've never faced - things you will never face. And..."

"Let me help you, at the very least." Shunsui offered. "Let me make sure your Father is properly taken care of, and that you..."

"That I...what?" Saku laughed bitterly. "Become your family's cause for charity a second time? Do you think I lack all pride, just because I've fallen to such a level?"

"No, but..."

"It was Father's decision to come to the Kyouraku for aid, years ago." Saku broke across him, shaking her head. "And I was too young, so I never questioned it. I didn't know all the things I know now, after all, about being involved with the patronage of a noble family."

"Saku-chan, I..."

"I know a lot more now." Saku raised her head, gravity in her dark gaze. "I don't hate you, Shunsui. I never could, I don't think. But neither one of us understood then that what we were doing was wrong in every respect. And these last couple of years I've realised the full cost of my carelessness. I don't intend on repeating those mistakes."

She straightened, smoothing down her ragged gown.

"I have pride, too." She added. "Even if I'm not a Kyouraku, I have enough of it to know I want to take care of myself. I never came to ask for help because I felt I shouldn't, after all. And you shouldn't have come here. I would have rather not have seen you - or had you seen me."

Shunsui swallowed hard.

"I wanted to see you." He admitted. "I have done for a long time. But..."

"But you and I were forcibly parted, and it should stay that way." Saku shook her head. "You're Kyouraku Shunsui-sama. I'm not oblivious to the fact that now Tokutarou-sama is the Kyouraku lord, you're his heir. You shouldn't be seen with a girl of fallen heritage like me. And it can certainly do me no good to involve myself with those who will always be far too far out of my reach."

"Saku-chan."

"I won't be staying here, once Father is buried." Saku said matter-of-factly. "I don't know where I'm going, but it will be away from here and away from the Kyouraku influence, too. You and I won't ever meet again, and you mustn't look for me. Fond as I always will be of our childhood together, Shunsui - it's not the same any more. You know it as well as I do. And I know now what I didn't know then. That a woman's honour can be easily taken and not so easily repaired. So what we did as children...stays in the past."

She touched his shoulder briefly, then shook her head.

"For all that I loved you then, now I simply want you to go." She murmured. "Seeing you this way brings me more pain than it does happy memories. Do you understand?"

This stabbed through Shunsui's young heart, and slowly he brushed his fingers against the family insignia on his clothing. Then he sighed.

"Keep the medicine, in case it has a further use on your travels." He said at length. "I'm sorry, Saku - for so many things that happened and so many more that didn't. Maybe you think we're different people - separated by social class - but I never saw it that way. Nor did I ever intend to compromise your honour. I looked up to you. I still do. I admire you more than anyone else I've ever met. And if...if I leave, if it will make things easier for you, I'll go."

He turned, then glanced back at her.

"But it doesn't change the fact that I came here today because I wanted to see you. And help, if I could." He said sadly. "You were my first true friend, after all. There's no true friendship within the Noble ranks. In the end, I think, I'm the one who's lost the most."

Before she could respond, he began to slowly make his way down the stairs, crossing the floor to the exit with his heart heavy in his chest. He did not look back, but his senses were keen enough to know that despite her words, Saku's emotions were as wrenched as his were, and as he walked slowly away from the old manor house, he could almost feel her tears reverberating around his heart.

So it had been the case, then, he reflected sadly. He had loved her. Had he not come back here, he might never have known it for sure. But now he knew with heart-breaking certainty that Saku had been his first love. And, no matter how much water had passed under the bridge since they had last met, he still loved her now.

_Perhaps I always will. _

He sighed, closing his eyes against his own tears.

_Mother always says that she loved Father till the end, despite all the things he did. Maybe it's like that. Even if they don't make you happy, you can't help but love them anyway. Even if all it does is destroy you, piece by piece._

He frowned, remembering what Tokutarou had said to him about his Father, the first time they had met.

_Father suffered too, because he loved Mother and I, yet was afraid for us, too. I suppose I really am Father's son, after all.  
_  
He paused at the perimeter of the village, reaching up to finger his long, wavy hair. Then, with a resolute expression on his features, he reached for the ornamental blade that hung at his waist, tightening his grasp on the hilt as he made up his mind.

_If Oniisama is angry, so be it. If I look like a Noble son this way enough that Saku didn't want to look at me any more, then I don't want to look that way, either. And I won't. If it's the last part of that past I can reach out to, I'll do it. _

He raised the weapon, bunching his hair in his fist and then slicing the sleek silver blade cleanly through it, feeling the weight come away in his hand. He glanced at his prize, fingering it for a moment, then letting out a heavy sigh.

_I'm never going to let myself fall in love again. No matter what happens, I never will. _

His grasp tightened around the shorn tail of hair.

_And I'll never become Tokutarou-nii's heir. Even if he thinks it, I won't. It's like he said, after all. I'm Father's son. And Father knew too, that being part of the Kyouraku clan only ends in tragedy.  
_  
He sighed heavily, folding the hair between his fingers and sliding it into the folds of his clothing.

"Travel safely, Saku." He murmured, as he left the town, pausing to glance back at the gateway as he did so. "Without the shadow of my family hanging over you, I hope you can find a place to belong, now. I won't come after you, I promise. But I'll never forget, either. Not so long as I live - about the oneechan who taught me how to survive living in this world."

-------------

_**Author's Note: **_

_Own up - how many people thought 'Farewell' meant Saku was dying? ;)_

_Also, cyber cookies for anyone who spotted Shunsui's hidden talent in this chapter..._

_We're nearly at the end! Each of the boys has one more chapter left to them for this prequel story.  
_

_If you enjoyed it, however, I have begun writing about them at the Academy based on the backstories from this prequel and I will be uploading that story at some point after the prequel is complete (not sure when yet).  
_

_To date I've got about 20 chapters written, so...;)_


	15. 15: Ukitake: Resolution

_**Resolution**_

It was a week before Juushirou's seventeenth birthday that a stranger came to the Ukitake estate.

For Juushirou and his siblings, to have visitors was hardly a new sensation. There were, after all, several families in the surrounding area of a similar social standing to their own clan, and since the death of the Ukitake lord Hidenobu, many of them had leant support to his widow and children in order to ensure that no one was able to harm the estate. Hidenobu had been popular among his neighbours after all, for his fair minded way of doing things, and his even-handedness when dealing even with the most obtuse of border disputes. Consequently, it was not strange for someone to come to the manor, or to request a private audience with his stepmother Kaede.

Yet somehow, this visitor was not like other visitors.

"All the maids were bowing to him, and even Kamikura-sensei bowed right at the waist too, Juu-nii."

In the small room which had once been Hidenobu's study, Juushirou glanced up from the book he had been working his way through, casting his young companion a quizzical look.

"Bowing to who, Rouhei?" He asked softly, setting the book aside as he interpreted his younger brother's hyperactive excitement. "You'll have to start at the beginning - what are you talking about?"

"Didn't you see him?" Rouhei stared at his companion in disbelief. "The visitor who came to see Okaasama, of course! The old dude who came to the manor! Chi-neechan thinks maybe it's someone from the Kuchiki estate, because everyone was fussing around him and tiptoeing about like he was King of Soul Society or something equal to it. But no one from the Kuchiki-ke's come here since Papa died. And it's not like there've been any more Hollow attacks here, right? So..."

"Shh." Despite himself, Juushirou smiled, pushing his book aside as he eyed his younger brother fondly. "Slow down, take a breath and explain to me clearly. Okaasama's had a visitor, has she? An important visitor, from the Kuchiki-ke?"

"Yes. Well. Maybe. I don't know." Rouhei admitted unhelpfully. "He might not be from the Kuchiki-ke. Just he's someone really important or something, that's pretty clear. They've been in Mother's parlour for at least an hour, and Kamikura-sensei's been there with them, too."

"I see." Juushirou pursed his lips. "But it can't be about the family estate, surely? I'm not even seventeen yet - a long way off being accepted as Head of the family, and besides..."

"Maybe he's come because of that." Rouhei pounced, thumping his hands down on the desk as he gazed at his companion eagerly. "Your Kaa-san was a Kuchiki, wasn't she? Maybe that's why. After all, Chi-neechan said that when the Hollow killed Papa and hurt you, they came right away."

"My mother was a distant descendant of the Kuchiki clan, maybe, but a long way from the attention of the Clan leaders." Juushirou shook his head, getting slowly to his feet. "And I don't know what Chi-chan's been telling you, but the only reason anyone from the Kuchiki manor came to our land that night was to eradicate the Hollow. It was a Gotei duty, that's all. Nothing else."

He sighed, running his fingers through his lank white hair.

"I hope it isn't trouble." He said apprehensively. "Did they look like a nice person, Rou-kun? Or...?"

"He was super old." Rouhei remembered. "But he moved like he was as young as Kamikura-sensei, and he looked like...well, like he'd come here for a specific reason. I don't know what," As Juushirou raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a mind-reader or anything like that. But that's the look he had. The 'I'm coming here for something' look. That's all."

He grinned.

"Chi-neechan sent me to tell you." He added. "Just in case you needed to know."

"Mm." Juushirou frowned, pursing his lips. "I wonder if it has anything to do with the conversation I had with Kamikura-sensei last week. About the family, my health, and everything else. If it did..."

He sighed, shaking his head as though to clear it.

"Thank you for telling me in any case, Rou-kun." He said softly. "I was immersed in studying the family records, and I didn't even notice anyone had arrived."

"Didn't you even feel him coming this time?" Rouhei looked curious. "Usually you do, though, don't you? When someone comes to the estate."

"Usually, yes." Juushirou agreed. "But if this is someone important, Rou-kun, they're probably also really strong. And that means they can probably hide themselves - at least more than my feeble senses can manage to detect."

He cast his brother a rueful look.

"I know you think that because I'm the eldest, I can do anything." He added. "But I'm really not all that powerful, Rou-kun. You shouldn't over-estimate my abilities."

He sighed.

"As it is, this past couple of years I've put everything into recovering my health back to the level it was before Otousama's death." He added sadly. "And applying myself to my studies in as much detail as possible. I haven't had time to think about anything else - not when I've had all of that to do."

Before Rouhei could respond, there was a knock on the door, and Juushirou frowned, his gaze flitting to the wood divide.

"Come in, Anika." He said softly, and the door slid back to reveal the maid, a wry look on her face.

"You are surprisingly good at that, Juu-sama." She observed lightly. "Soon I won't be able to put a foot out of line without you knowing about it, will I?"

"See, you knew _Anika_ was there." Rouhei put his hands on his hips. "You can do it, Juu-nii, if you try."

"Rouhei-sama, you're here too?" Anika glanced at the younger boy in surprise, and Rouhei nodded.

"I came to tell Nii-sama about Okaasama's visitor." He said importantly.

"Well, then that makes my job easier." Anika seemed relieved. "I came on a similar errand, Juu-sama. Your stepmother's asked for me to bring you to her parlour as soon as possible - it seems she wants you to speak to her guest yourself, though I don't know her reasons."

"To speak to...myself?" Juushirou looked anxious. "Anika, who is this guest? Is it someone from the Kuchiki-ke? Are we in some form of trouble? Because..."

"I know no details of that nature." Anika shook her head. "It's not my place to ask for them, either. But I can tell you that this visit has nothing to do with the Kuchiki family. It's someone I've never met before."

"Then why...?" As she led him through the hallways, Juushirou cast her a confused glance. "If he's a stranger, why has he come here all of a sudden?"

"I don't think he's a complete stranger." Anika reflected. "Kamikura-san knew who he was, and so did your mother. Well, I think he's someone whose name is known in certain circles these days, shall we say. I'd never encountered the gentleman myself, but even I've heard them talk about him. Though why he's here is anyone's guess. I wouldn't like to speculate, so I won't. I'll let your stepmother explain herself, it seems easier that way than trying to theorise."

"I see." Juushirou chewed down on his lip. "Very cryptic. I feel like I should be worried, even though I don't know what I'm worrying about."

"Well, you'll soon find out." As they reached the door of the parlour, Anika patted him on the shoulder, shooting him a smile. "Good luck, Juu-sama. Just hold your head up high and remember how your Father would have done it, that's all. You'll be fine."

She reached over to knock on the door, releasing the catch and pushing it back on its runners to reveal the room beyond.

"Please excuse me, my Lady, but I've brought Juushirou-sama." She said, bowing her head very properly, and Juushirou, who had frozen like a rabbit in headlamps at the sight of all eyes on him swallowed his nerves, lowering his own head.

"Thank you, Anika. You're dismissed." His stepmother's voice was soft and even, yet somehow unlike her, and as Anika bowed again, withdrawing from the chamber, Juushirou kept his own head down, peering at the stranger from beneath his lashes.

"Your son has good manners, Kaede-dono." At that juncture the newcomer spoke, his voice low and slightly gruff, somehow fitting his wizened appearance. "It's quite all right, Juushirou. You may raise your head. I wish to speak to you, after all."

"Yes, sir." Juushirou did as he was bidden, meeting the other's gaze for the first time. As he did so, he caught sight of an emblem on the man's sash, and his eyes widened as sudden realisation sank in.

"What is it, Juushirou-sama?" Kamikura asked gently, and Juushirou blushed, gathering his composure as he shot his teacher an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "I was just wondering whether our honoured guest was perhaps a member of the Yamamoto clan."

"Ah, you have sharp eyesight as well as a good mode of address." This seemed to please the stranger, who got to his feet, moving so that he was standing a mere few feet away from the teenager. It was then that Juushirou realised the man was not even his equal in height, yet somehow even lowering his gaze to the other man's dark eyes did not seem for a moment like he was looking down.

"As you surmise, I'm from the Yamamoto-ke." The visitor continued evenly. "Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Ukitake Juushirou, sir." Juushirou murmured, sending a questioning look towards his stepmother, who slowly shook her head. She looked weary, he realised, as though something they had been discussing had brought her displeasure, and Juushirou found his doubts and worries building up once more inside of him.

"Tell me, my boy, what age are you now?"

"Sixteen summers, sir. Seventeen before the turn of the month."

"Almost seventeen, is it? I see." Yamamoto brushed his long beard thoughtfully. "A good age, without a doubt. Yet I had somehow got the impression that you were older - at least, from the level of your studies, it would seem to be the case."

"Sir?" Juushirou was floored, and Yamamoto chuckled, shaking his head and somehow taking the tension in the room down a notch or two.

"Kamikura, you haven't explained a word of this to the boy, have you?" He asked admonishingly, and Kamikura looked sheepish, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Sensei. I haven't." He admitted. "I confess, everything has been done entirely behind his back."

Juushirou frowned, casting his teacher a startled glance.

_Behind my back? What on earth does he mean?_

"Then I must apologise too, and explain myself more clearly." Yamamoto said simply. "Your sensei thinks that you have a good deal of potential, Juushirou. Academic potential, as well as other skills that may or may not yet be apparent. Two months previously, he made contact with me regarding a way in which to test that potential to its furthest limits. After having discussed the matter with him in some great detail, and having viewed some of your work, I agreed that it was worth seeing exactly what you could do."

He smiled.

"Last month, I believe, you sat a series of academic and, shall we say, more unusual tests?"

"Yes, sir." Juushirou was totally bewildered now. "But Sensei told me that they were simply guidance markers - after all, since Father passed away, I'm the eldest child, and...my health's always a concern...so..."

"Being head of any family brings with it heavy responsibilities." Yamamoto murmured. Juushirou reddened slightly, nodding his head.

"Yes, sir. Responsibilities I haven't always been equal to, so I strive now to do my best."

"And you're sixteen? It's a heavy burden to bear so young."

"My Father would not have wanted me to do otherwise." Juushirou said softly.

"I see." Yamamoto smiled. "It's just as your mother's said, then, I see. Your sense of duty and responsibility are second to none, even in a boy of your young years."

He reached out a hand, brushing it against Juushirou's shoulder thoughtfully.

"I had heard that the eldest son of the Ukitake-ke was stricken with a hereditary plague and therefore sickly and weak." He reflected. "Yet even from this distance I can feel the strength radiating within you. You're aware of it too, aren't you, Juushirou? This inner spirit power that courses through you like angry ocean waves."

At the mention of the sea, Juushirou's eyes became huge.

"Can you see that...inside of me?" He murmured, forgetting for an instant his good manners as he stared at the older man in shock. "The waves and...and the fish, too?"

"Fish?" Kaede's brows knitted together. "What are you talking about, Juushirou? What fish? What do you mean?"

"I..." Juushirou reddened, shaking his head as he realised how stupid he had sounded. "Nothing, Okaasama. I'm sorry. I think...for a moment I became confused."

"I would like to hear more, if I may, about these fish and waves." Yamamoto said softly, and Juushirou bit his lip, bowing his head apologetically before his companion.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean anything in particular."

"There's no need to be shy." Yamamoto shook his head. "I can feel it, after all. Your spirit power radiates from you like waves. Even though you've done remarkably well at suppressing it to a base level, I can still sense elements of it, flickering against my skin. I don't think it's foolishness at all."

He eyed the boy keenly.

"You've seen fish, then, as well as waves?" He asked gently, and slowly and mutely Juushirou nodded his head.

"How many times?"

"Only...only once." Juushirou twisted his hands together. "But I had a fever at the time, so I might not..."

"And did these fish tell you their name?"

"_In_ and _You_." Juushirou coloured red again. "Though they said they had another name, they didn't tell me what it was. One was a black fish, and the other a white one. One spoke with Father's voice. And one with Mother's."

"With your mother's?" Yamamoto's gaze flitted in surprise to Kaede, who shook her head hurriedly.

"I'm afraid you've misunderstood, Genryuusai-sama." She said quickly. "Juushirou is not my son by blood - even though so far as I've been concerned I've always considered him as much mine as any of the others. He was only a year old, after all, when I married Hidenobu and he's been in my care since then. Juushirou's birth mother died when he was born...Juushirou never knew her."

"I see." Yamamoto's expression became thoughtful. "Yet even though you never knew her, Juushirou, you heard her voice?"

"The fish called In said she was my mother's love." Juushirou said reluctantly. "So I assumed it was that way, sir."

"Juushirou's birth mother was a distant descendant of the Kuchiki-ke, Sensei." Kamikura added at that point. "Her name was Kuchiki Raiko-sama."

"Really." Yamamoto's eyes could not get any narrower, and Juushirou wondered what thoughts were passing through that furrowed brow. "Well. Then I understand, now. I hadn't realised that you were Raiko's son, Juushirou. That makes everything clear to me...clear as crystal, in fact."

"Sir, did you...know my mother?" Juushirou ventured hesitantly, and Yamamoto nodded his head.

"For a brief time, yes. She studied with me for six months, before her Father withdrew her from her spirit studies in order for her to marry." He said evenly. "She had a good deal of potential that was never fully reached, I'm afraid."

Juushirou's eyes flitted to his teacher once more, then,

"Did...Kamikura-sensei, did you maybe also study with...with Yamamoto-sama? You called him Sensei, before, and..."

"Yes, for a short while." Kamikura looked rueful. "But I didn't inherit more than a trace of spirit power from my father, and being born illegitimate, there wasn't much to be done with me. So I gave it up when your father asked me to come and be your tutor here. Still, I owe Genryuusai-sensei a lot, Juushirou. He's a man you can have faith in - he'll look at you as you are, and not as your bloodline dictates. If he says you have promise and potential, well, it's not an exaggeration. He means it."

"I'm still not sure I'm happy with any of this." Kaede said slowly. "With Juushirou not knowing anything about it, and all of it going on behind his back. I don't know...it doesn't seem...he already has so many things here that need him, and..."

She trailed off, and Juushirou stared at her in confusion.

"What do you mean, Okaasama?" He asked gently. "Where would I be going? No one's said anything like that."

"That's the next part of why Anika was sent to bring you here, Juushirou-sama." Kamikura said pragmatically. "To at last be able to fulfil a promise I made a long time ago, if you like. I'm sorry it's been done without your knowledge. But even so..."

"A promise?"

"A promise I made to your Father, before he died." Kamikura nodded his head, and shock flooded Juushirou's features.

"What kind of promise?"

"That I'd make sure you weren't wasted in this world." Kamikura smiled. "We've talked often about the Gotei, after all. And your Father knew as well as I did that your potential far outstrips the Ukitake clan. That day you faced the Hollow was his final proof of it - before his eyes he saw it, felt it...your true strength pouring out of you as you tried to protect yourself. Only you weren't strong enough to master it, and it hurt you instead."

Juushirou closed his eyes briefly, remembering the burning sensation and the overflowing terror that facing the Hollow had awakened inside of him.

"Your Father hoped that would never happen, you see." Kaede said sadly. "That by shielding you, he would prevent your true raw strength from ever being fully unleashed. He knew it would hurt you, if it was allowed to rage free. He remembered how hard it had been for you to cling to life when you were at your smallest, and he feared for you."

"That day in the forest, I think he realised that shielding you from it would never work, and so in the hours before he passed away, Hidenobu-sama asked me to make sure you had a chance to control and use that potential instead." Kamikura continued. "But you were so ill for so long after that event I worried you'd damaged yourself irreversibly and that it was already too late. However, in recent months, your health has been far more stable, and so, I thought, it was time to do something about it. I contacted Genryuusai-sensei, and asked his advice about the best way to help you hone that spiritual ability to Gotei level."

"Gotei level?" Juushirou's eyes almost fell out of his skull. "But I...surely I...only the Great Nobility are ever involved in..."

"Things are changing on a large scale, Juushirou." Yamamoto shook his head. "It's been my initiative for some time to find alternative ways of training Shinigami of suitable skill to go to the Real World and tackle Hollows before they become a problem here. The fact that so many have begun to appear in Soul Society is a sign that we're losing the battle. The Gotei can no longer cope with the numbers being thrown their way. If this continues, it could spell serious consequences for the whole of our world. It's a delicate balance, after all - as anyone who's ever crossed the divide knows all too well."

Juushirou just stared at him, not comprehending, and despite himself, Yamamoto laughed.

"You may not realise it fully yet, but the level of your spirit power, though raw, is high." He added. "Over the past fifty years, I've worked at training promising individuals with the intention of creating actual squads, not simply representatives, who can take on the fight and spread the burden. Ten years ago, I opened an Academy, which has allowed many lower-born members of the Great Nobility - the Eight Clans - their chance to utilise their reiatsu and harness that _reiryoku_ into something useful. But I intend on taking it further. There are, after all, ones like you born to a lower social level who have the requisite skills to train and fight against this threat. Who knows? One day, maybe even souls from Rukongai will be able to do the same...maybe we'll truly find a balance, then, when we have enough Shinigami to truly keep the Hollows under control."

"This...Father said...this is what he wanted me to do?" Juushirou managed faintly, his mind whirling, and Kamikura nodded.

"Unequivocally." He agreed. "He hoped that you'd be able to train and get strong enough to make a difference - to your life and to other people. I think he knew that if you did, you'd help this world be no longer plagued by those things. He gave his life to protect his family against them, after all. But in doing so, he left them behind to manage without him. He left you with a burden on your heart, too. Though he knew bare bits and pieces that Raiko-sama had taught him, he never managed to draw on any significant power and he died because of it. Besides, he knew that his reiatsu didn't even register compared to the potential you have. He'd seen it, from time to time, when you'd been practicing Kendou. That even though you had the family curse, Juushirou-sama, you weren't weak."

"But I...I'm Father's eldest child." Juushirou whispered. "If I went away, how could I protect my family here? How can I be head of the Ukitake family when I come of age, if I'm so far from home? And if I...if I was able to go to the Real World, and fight Hollows, then I wouldn't be being a proper head of the clan either, would I? So...even if Father did want me to, how can I? There's too much here...how can I?"

"This has always been part of the problem for the Noble Houses, also." Yamamoto agreed. "That the head of a Clan's responsibilities often clash with those of the Gotei. Some succeed and some fail. Some Clans choose a separate representative from their Clan head, but that can create a divide in interests. Others simply pass on the Gotei _haori_ with the leadership, but then the leader by blood is not always the one most suited for Shinigami service."

He sighed.

"Either way, _most_ of the Great Noble Families are in agreement that the current system is outdated and flawed." He continued slowly. "From this spring, therefore, the first squad manoeuvres will be tested out. I have enough lower born Clan recruits currently to furnish the existing Gotei and create four additional squads of six or seven fighters each. In time I hope to take it beyond that. Now the Academy is in situe, I hope that I might form greater and more varied squads around the existing Gotei representatives and their new colleagues. As time goes on I'm sure that I'll be able to do that with the eventual graduates that come from that school. However, it's a big project, and it will only succeed if everyone does their part."

"And Father really...wanted this for me?"

Juushirou's gaze flitted to his stepmother, who sighed, nodding her head.

"He did." She admitted sadly. "Which is why I haven't tried to stand in the way. I know that you feel your debt to Hidenobu is high, Juushirou. And I felt, maybe, this way you could repay that debt you imagine you had. Besides, I know that if you can't learn to control your spirit power, it will keep attacking you. And I hoped, if you learnt to use it properly, maybe you wouldn't be sick so often."

"_Is_ that possible?" Juushirou stared at Yamamoto, who nodded.

"I understand there is no cure for your underlying condition." He said gravely. "But it's apparent from what Kaede-dono and Kamikura have told me that the high level of reiatsu your soul produces is having a detrimental effect on your overall health. Having felt it for myself, now, I understand why. The Ukitake family have a certain amount of spirit power of their own, after all – but you also have your mother's Kuchiki blood, which, although a distant connection, has probably helped to make your potential above average. Unfortunately, those two things have combined in a body that's not strong enough to contain them."

Juushirou's mind flitted back to the day in the forest once more, and he sighed.

"Father told me something like that too." He murmured. "He said that's why most cursed babies stop breathing and die within their first few hours. Only Mother stopped me from dying – she gave me her strength and I survived."

"I rather think that in your case the circumstances are exceptional." Yamamoto admitted. "But now, having sensed your spirit level for myself, I'm even more convinced that Kamikura was right to contact me. You are exactly the kind of person my Academy was set up to aid, my boy – one who would not otherwise get a chance within the Gotei on account of your low birth, yet even so possessed of the skills to do the job if properly trained. The one caveat would be that, in your case, with your physical frailty and your overwhelming reiatsu, you would need to be trained very purposefully. You'd need to obtain complete control of your spirit power to use it to its best advantage. In the end, such control levels are desirable in any Shinigami – but it would mean a hard path getting to that point. You would have to be one hundred percent committed to completely mastering your abilities – in your case, a half-hearted attitude would as good as kill you."

Juushirou was silent for a moment, digesting this with some trouble.

"The truth is, I always wondered how I could be head of the family in any case." He said sadly, glancing at his hands. "I hadn't said it to anyone, but it had been bothering me more and more of late. I've been reading through the records of the family, and most of the time a cursed baby is mentioned, the child dies quickly after birth. But going back further than that, there are ones who survived. And the ones who did...whenever one did and became head of the clan, there were always...problems."

"Problems?" Kaede stared at him, and Juushirou nodded.

"With providing the family with a living heir." He said softly. "I asked Father once, and he told me I shouldn't worry about it. But now I _have_ to worry about it. If I married and had children, the chances of them being infected is high. The chances of them dying even higher. Maybe I wouldn't even be able to have children of my own."

He grimaced.

"That is, providing any woman would want to marry someone with the kind of troubles my health often causes." He added frankly. "Living with that may be too much for any wife to bear, no matter how kind her intentions."

"At sixteen, you've already thought that far ahead?" Kamikura stared. "Juushirou-sama, even with your health situation, I'm sure that..."

"That someone would see the potential in what Father's achieved for this family and want their daughter to play a part in it, regardless of the burdens involved." Juushirou said pragmatically, seeing Kamikura and his step-mother exchange startled glances at his frankness.

"Juushirou..." Kaede began, and Juushirou shook his head.

"I won't have a wife who seeks to use the family's current position for her own gain and puts the needs of my kin second." He said softly. "Even more, though, I _won't_ have a wife who only wants to invalid and take care of me. I don't like either choice, Okaasama. And I don't see any other option. Not for a cursed child of the Ukitake family. I know what people say, around these parts. It's exactly what our honoured guest spoke of - the sickly child who was born with the family's disease and is weak and helpless as a result."

His eyes became steely.

"I'm_ not_ weak and helpless." He said firmly. "Father didn't raise me to be that way, and I won't settle for it. I may be ill, but I'm not governed by that illness. Not now, maybe not ever. And I won't let it live my life for me. Even if it proves that time is only short, or if it proves to be long. I'm not going to let it rule this family, no matter what."

He smiled ruefully, taking in his stepmother's consternation.

"_But_ I realise that attitude is a difficult one for outside people to stomach." He admitted. "And I don't want to cause the family any bother because of it. My curse has already taken my Mother and my Father, after all. I don't want it to take or trouble future generations of the Ukitake-ke, too."

"You really do think deeply about things, even at such a young age." Yamamoto reflected, and Juushirou blushed, suddenly realising how frank he had been with their Noble guest still listening.

"Not really, sir." He admitted. "For a long time I didn't think about things at all in the way I should. But I've really tried, this last couple of years, to be someone my Father would be proud of. And I think...if he did say he wanted me to do this...it was because he knew it too. That I couldn't really be head of the clan, even though I'm the eldest. That I wouldn't settle for pity or ambition in order to forge the family's future. Because of the curse...it's not right for me to be in that position. Chihiro or Hiroyuki should take it on. Not me."

"Juushirou..." Kaede's expression became pained, and Juushirou met her gaze.

"You've always treated me like your son, Okaasama, and I'm grateful." He said slowly. "But the truth is, I'm not. Neither of my parents are here any more. I have to think about things for myself. And the more I do...the more I know it's useless. No matter how hard I try to be a good head of clan, it still won't work."

"Then you intend on accepting our suggestion that you enter training with Genryuusai-sensei at his Academy, Juushirou-sama?" Kamikura asked softly. Juushirou hesitated for a moment, then, slowly, he nodded his head.

"If I can learn to protect people that way, and how to control my power, then yes. If you'll have me, I'll not refuse." He said carefully, bowing his head low before Yamamoto as he did so. "I don't know if I'm as strong as you think I am, sir, or if I'll let you down in the end. But at the very least, even if I'm not good enough to be involved with the Gotei or go to the Real World, maybe I'll learn how to protect my family properly. And even if I can't be head of the clan, I can still learn to do that."

"Then it's settled." Yamamoto looked satisfied. "Come the Spring, I'll expect to see you with the other new recruits at the Academy. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Ukitake raised his gaze. "From here on in, I'm in your hands."

------------------

**Author's Note:**

_That's it for Juu, at least for the prequel ;)_

_One note, though, because it may be a tad confusing. Ukitake's family - as I've said before - are lower level nobility who have done well under Hidenobu's guidance but are by no means anywhere near Great Noble status._

_I've taken to referring to the big families as the Clans - capital C. Ukitake's family is also a 'clan' (Ukitake-ichizoku or Ukitake-ke). But with a small c. Shunsui's on the other hand is a Clan with a big C - one of the Eight. I've stuck with that way of denoting them throughout the Academy story I've been writing so far, so hopefully it's clear enough to understand ;)_


	16. 16: Kyouraku: Father's Vice

_**Father's Vice**_

Morning.

Shunsui opened bleary eyes, lifting a heavy hand to shield his gaze from the painful glare of the bright sunlight that crept in between the slats of the window shutters. He had no idea what time it was, and for the time being, he truly didn't care. With a groan, he dropped his arm back onto his pillow, closing his eyes once more as he attempted to get back to sleep.

From somewhere not too far away, he could smell the soft mingled aroma of fresh tea and fish being cooked over a low-slung fire, and he rolled over, trying to place why those scents should seem so appealing. Then, as if he had been struck by a sudden deluge of icy water, he remembered.

Saku's house. Saku's cooking. Saku's scent.

He hauled himself into a sitting position, suddenly no longer wanting to sleep as memories flooded his sleep-clogged mind. He groaned, rubbing his eyes with the back of his fists as he struggled to bring himself more clearly into his surroundings. Where _was_ he, anyway?

A quick glance around told him that whilst his memory might have been drawn to Saku, his surroundings were unfamiliar and as different from his old friend's lodgings as night was from day. The chamber was small, with a low-slung beamed ceiling, and even as he pulled the rough blankets more tightly around his body, he realised that wherever he had woken, it was in a small, old property, more suited to one of the outskirts villages than the kind of town that Saku and her father had originally made their home. From the density of the cooking smells, Shunsui realised that the house's kitchen was a bare few steps from where he was huddled, through an arch like doorway into a tiny cupboard of a chamber beyond. As his eyes became more accustomed to the gloom, he could make out the shadow of something which could be an aging seat covered with a woven blanket to hide the tears and patches, and his gaze narrowed, little by little putting the pieces back into place.

So last night had been a bad one then, had it?

He pursed his lips, wishing his head did not ache so badly. Try as he might, he could not fully recall the events of the previous evening but a quick assessment of his attire soon told him that he had probably spent the night with another of the local village girls that lived just over the rise from the Kyouraku mansion. At the realisation, he sighed, resignation setting in in his heart as he dropped back against the wall, folding his arms across his chest.

His brother was probably wondering where he was, by now, considering that the sun had already risen. Yet Shunsui was in no hurry. After all, in a place like this, there was very little danger of him being found or recognised by anyone in the local surrounds.

He glanced down at his shirt, noting the loose ties and the rumpled nature of the fabric. He never left the mansion in full Noble regalia, not since the meeting with Saku when she had stared at him and so coldly demanded to know his identity. Yet even so he was more dishevilled than usual, and from the buzzing, pounding rhythm that kept pace in his skull, he had probably had more than his fair share of some or other cheap sake between leaving the manor and arriving at his current location. The only question was, what kind of girl had he chosen to go home with this time?

He kicked back the blankets, swinging his legs over the side of the low slung wooden shelf that acted as a bed, and pulling himself to his feet. It was chilly, he realised, stifling a shiver, and he glanced around him automatically for his warm winter cape, a wry smile touching his lips as he realised that he would not have brought that with him either. It was, after all, woven by the finest seamstresses of the most expensive imported material - and as such, was a dead giveaway as to his true status.

"So you're awake?"

A voice from the doorway made him pause, raising his gaze to meet the quizzical dark eyes of his host, and as he did so, a sense of shame and guilt struck through him. She was young, he realised, probably about his own age or a little older, with thick black hair in a long tail down her back, and from the condition of her day clothing, he knew that she was not one of the village's richer settlers. In fact, he wondered, as he eyed her up and down, perhaps she was more even than that. He had heard, after all, rumours of those who had snuck into Seireitei during breaches in security and bribed border guards between the inner settlement and the outside no-mans land known as Rukongai. Perhaps she was one of these, after all - an outside dweller with nothing but her body and her rough skills to recommend her in Seireitei's unforgiving social hierarchy.

And here was he, the son of one of the Noble Families, sitting there looking back at her knowing that every word he was going to tell her would be a lie.

He sighed.

Just like all the others, there was a hint of Saku in her features. Her petite build, the eyes like dark pools and the precise, dainty features that concealed a will of iron within. Yet unlike Saku, this girl did not have freedom in her gaze. And unlike Saku, he was not in love with her.

He had simply drunk too much and allowed himself to be easily led astray.

_So I am Father's son after all._

He got slowly to his feet, bowing his head towards her.

"I've encroached on your home and your time. I'm sorry." He murmured, and the girl sighed, shaking her head.

"You don't need to apologise." She said simply. "You didn't do anything wrong, after all."

"But I..."

"You'd been drinking and you weren't steady on your feet." The girl told him matter-of-factly. "Some of the men were getting rowdy in one of the inns, and you got shoved over by one of them, so I stopped and helped you up. I brought you back here, since you didn't seem to be able to remember where you lived."

Shunsui pursed his lips, knowing that at least to some degree her words were a lie. Though his memories were blurry, he distinctly remembered that they had done more than simply come back to her house, and he paused, then slipped his hand discreetly against the side of his body, fingering the fabric as he hunted for the small coin purse he kept stitched to the inside of his clothes.

It was gone, and at his covert movement, the girl met his gaze with a challenge of her own.

"Was there something wrong?" She asked softly, and Shunsui shook his head.

"Not at all." He said evenly. "Though I'd rather you told me the truth. Last night I was drunk, and I came here with you. I imposed on you, and you took my coin in recompense. That's the way of it, isn't it? That's what really happened yesterday evening."

The girl's eyes became like slits.

"What are you accusing me of?" She demanded, her tones dangerously low, and Shunsui smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

"There's no accusation." he said lightly. "I'm not asking for the coin back. You're welcome to it. Money isn't everything, after all."

At this the girl stared at him, startled by his casual admission.

"Who are you, then, that money doesn't matter?" She asked suspiciously. "What kind of man lets a girl keep coin and doesn't slap her for taking it while he slept? Because I'm not sorry I did, and I'm not planning on returning it, whatever you say or do. Living in Seireitei's hard when you're like me and on your own. I take it as payment for my time last night, and that's all. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I think I already told you that I wasn't trying to claim it back." Shunsui rubbed his temples, suddenly feeling exhausted and somewhat ashamed of his behaviour. "As for who I am - nobody who has any significance in this world or the next. Just another son of another family who have too much of some things and not enough of others. That's all."

He eyed her frankly.

"I never asked your name." He remembered. "I almost wonder if I should ask it, or if it would be better if I didn't know."

"Last night you called me Saku." The girl said softly, and Shunsui started, staring at her in alarm. She smiled, nodding her head.

"For the coin I claimed, I'll be Saku if you like." She said playfully. "I don't mind. Names don't mean much to me when food is expensive and water hard to come by. There's no provision in Seireitei when you have no connections, after all."

"So you _did_ come from Rukongai, then, after all?"

The girl stiffened, and Shunsui held up his hands.

"It's all right. I'm not about to report you to anyone." He said lightly. "But I can't imagine why you'd want to come here. Seireitei is full of violence, corruption and bad blood. You'd have done better staying there."

"It's no good, doing that." The girl relaxed, shaking her head with a sigh. "Not if you're like me. There's nothing for one like me over that side of the wall, after all. If I'd stayed, I'd have died. So I did the only thing I could. I took a chance and slipped through a crack in the security patrols."

"You could've been killed then, too, you know." Shunsui remarked, and the girl shrugged.

"Death either way for a vague chance of life." She said simply. "That's all."

"But I don't understand..."

"Of course not." The girl snorted. "Whoever you are, you're born in this world and you don't know what exists beyond that wall. You might think Seireitei is harsh, bocchan, but Rukongai is worse. If you're cursed like me in having even the faintest of spiritual power, you're doomed to die a long and agonising death. Either that or the Hollows come for you, and single you out, one by one. No one's there to protect us. They just come, and if you can't escape, you can't and that's that."

She spread her hands.

"There's little or no food in Rukongai. Most souls there don't need it. But for those who do...there's only one choice to make. Come to Seireitei by some means - or die."

Shunsui stared at her, and she smiled bitterly.

"Men like you are my lifeblood." She murmured. "Like I said, I let go of my pride a long time ago. I can survive, this way, through men like you. I don't need to know names or remember faces, and you don't need to, either."

She shrugged.

"Most don't realise they've been robbed, however." She acknowledged. "Even as hungover as you are, you're smart."

"Not as smart as I could be, evidently." Shunsui said frankly. He ran his fingers through his shorn hair, then sighed, feeling the faint flickers of familiar reiatsu on the edges of his consciousness.

"I should leave, before I bring trouble down on your head." He said quietly. "There are people who're looking for me, and it'll do neither one of us any good if they find me here."

"If you're in some kind of trouble, don't bring it to my door." The girl looked dismayed. "Leave, by all means - take your robe and go. I don't want any part of anyone else's fight, after all."

Shunsui took the clothing she tossed at him, pulling it over his shoulders and tying the sash loosely around his waist. He was dishevilled, he knew, but at least he was decent, and although he could not wash away the night before, he could at least clean himself up when he returned to the manor.

He bowed his head towards her, then, without a word, he withdrew from the chamber and stepped out into the surrounding village.

His brother's men were nearby, he knew, which meant that Tokutarou had probably dispatched them at dawn when he had realised his younger brother was once more not in his bed. All he had to do now was be caught, and that would be the end of it. Tokutarou would probably lecture him again, but he was too tired and numb to really care much about that. In the end, he was his Father's son. And, more than ever in the past year or so, he had learnt exactly how much like Matsuhara he could be.

He leant idly up against the trunk of a tree, pursing his lips as he thought it over in his head.

It had been a year since he had last seen Saku, and yet he often found himself wondering where she was and whether she was all right. It pained him to think that because of his involvement she might be forced to live the same kind of existence as the Rukongai runaway who had so cunningly fleeced him of his money while he had lain vulnerable and sleeping on her bed. His natural interest in the opposite sex had become a mixture of obsession and distraction, as he had turned more and more to hiding his confusion and pain in the comforting haze of alcohol. He had learnt with startling clarity how his father had descended so deeply into his sins, for there were some pains that were too tightly ingrained to easily shift from deep within his heart

It wasn't just Saku, or the way they had said goodbye. It was the recognition of futility - that the Kyouraku honour was a lie steeped in blood and betrayal. The memory of his Father's murder and Uncle's suicide were forever emblazoned on his thoughts as cruel reminders of the Nobility's lack of perfection. The more time went on, the more he had become convinced that Saku's words were true - that there were many things they had not understood as children - things which he was only coming to understand now.

And even nameless, sin-soaked individuals like his Rukongai vagabond had suffered from hardship while he and his undeserving, grasping family lived in riches beyond the ridiculous, acting as though somehow by birth and blood right they had forged themselves as superior individuals fit to trample others in the dust.

Matsuhara had known that. Matushara had known and it had destroyed him. With every swing of his blade, Shunsui knew, his Father had plunged deeper into his nightmares, unable to reconcile the destruction of the Hollows he was charged to kill with his peaceful, conflict-hating nature. And now Shunsui knew it too, from his own experience.

That being part of the Kyouraku family was a tragedy from the opening act to the curtain call - and he wanted no part of it whatsoever.

"Shunsui."

A voice made him start from his reverie, and he glanced up, words dying on his lips as he recognised the speaker. His eyes widened, heart stilling in his chest as he swallowed hard, barely able to meet his mother's gaze. She had suppressed her presence from his senses and he had not noticed her approach, so deep in his own musings had he been. At his clear surprise, she frowned.

"Okaasama." He managed at long last. "What are you...doing here?"

"I came to find you." Yoshiko said softly, and every word she spoke stabbed through Shunsui's young heart. "Because I knew that one of these days, Tokutarou-sama's men wouldn't be able to bring you back. And I've seen this happen already, Shunsui. I've seen it once and let it go unstopped. But I won't do it again. I won't see you fall into the same hole as your Father - even if it means coming and dragging you back home myself."

Her eyes were pools of unshed tears, and somehow this hurt Shunsui more than her anger or censure at his behaviour could possibly have done. In that moment he knew what a pitiful figure he must cut, his hair ruffled and ungroomed, his eyes bloodshot from his night's drinking and his clothing specked with dust and grime, still rumpled from his night's adventures. In Yoshiko's eyes was the same pain he had seen there before, when she had spoken of his father, and in that instant Shunsui hated himself more than he ever had.

_I always said I wouldn't make Mother cry like Father did, but yet, here we are all the same._

At his lack of response, Yoshiko stepped forward, slipping her arms around his body and hugging him tightly.

"Please don't fall into that world, Shunsui-kun." She whispered, burying her head in his shoulder, and as she did so, Shunsui was aware for the first time of how delicate and fragile an individual his mother really was. She had always held her head high, he knew, no matter what she had been forced to endure. Yet in that moment all those walls had shattered and from the desperate, unrelenting nature of her embrace, Shunsui knew that, more even than his Father had, he was hurting her to her core.

Despite himself he closed his eyes, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"I'm coming home with you, Okaasama." He managed softly. "I never had any other intention than to return to the mansion. There was no need to come all this way for me."

"Your Father began with things like this." Yoshiko held him at arm's length. "He drew away from me, and little by little his aura grew darker and more uneven and I couldn't get close to him any more. You...you're starting to do the same, Shunsui. I know you've been through so many things - I know your Uncle's rebellion and death must've had an impact on you, and I know you've been pulled and pushed around so much since you were a small boy. But I don't want you to be destroyed by this family. More than anything, I want to protect you from that. And Matsuhara would want it too. He wouldn't want his son to fall like this. I know that."

"He's not here to ask." Despite himself, Shunsui could not stop the words from leaving his lips, though he regretted them the moment he felt his mother's body flinch in his arms. That was when he knew that his mother still loved Matsuhara as strongly or even more so than he'd ever dreamed he'd loved Saku, and again he felt tainted and ashamed by his behaviour.

_Mother has endured much more than me. Yet Mother is the one who's been strong. Not me._

"True." She said softly now. "But there's no way of us changing that. We can't always look back, Shunsui. Forward is sometimes the only direction we can go."

She released her grasp on him, sliding her fingers into his and squeezing his hand.

"Your brother and I have been talking, and have spoken too to an old acquaintance of your Father's." She continued softly, leading him gently away from the village towards her carriage as she did so. "He's a man of good repute and someone under whom Tokutarou-sama did some training while living with the Shiba-ke. To all intents and purposes, we feel that you might benefit from such an acquaintance, also. After all, this can't go on. I can't let this go on - and neither can you."

"What do you mean, you've been talking about me?" Shunsui looked startled, a wary expression in his eyes, and Yoshiko sighed.

"For the last year you've spent more nights roaming away from the mansion than you have sleeping in your own bed." She said tiredly. "There's no secret in your actions - even the house staff are aware of them, though most of them are too discreet to allude to the fact in front of either your brother or I. I always knew you were interested in girls, Shunsui - I read your letters, after all, until your Uncle stopped them, and I know also that you've developed quite a charm for dealing with them in the three years or so since you came home. When Tokutarou-sama's Shiba relatives have visited, you've always been willing to give more attention to the girls than the boys, which is something I would expect from a young man of your years."

She sighed again.

"And it's not wrong for a young Lord to have a good sense of different vintages of alcohol, nor strange for him to be familiar with a wide range of tastes." She continued heavily. "But it's gone beyond that, hasn't it? You're not just drinking occasionally but enough to black yourself into a stupor. And as for the attention you've been seeking in places like this..."

"I suppose I am my Father's son, in the end."

"And your Father died a tragic, melancholy death, without reaching out to his family for help." Yoshiko said softly. "I won't wait till you're in the same situation. You won't ask for help either, I know - you're good at concealing your true feelings, and you always have been. I had no idea that you'd seen Matsuhara's death till Tokutarou-sama told me of it - you kept even that a secret and went on as though it had never happened. You bury too much in that heart of yours, and I don't imagine I'll ever get you to talk about it. But if I can find a way to help you manage it, somehow, then I will. And that's why we've been talking. For your sake, Shunsui. Not for the pride of the family or anything else. But because neither Tokutarou-sama or I want to see you fall into your Father's hell."

Shunsui was silent for a moment, digesting this.

"I don't really understand." He admitted. "What you think it is you want me to do."

"Your Father once worked somewhat in conjunction with a man called Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni-sama." Yoshiko began softly. "And since that time, Yamamoto-sama has set up some form of training Academy, with the hope of bringing the limited knowledge and skills of the Shinigami to a wider scope of people. It's clear to both Tokutarou-sama and I that you're not a foolish child, even if you sometimes lack good sense in your actions. You're academically capable, even if it was mostly done under duress at your Uncle's behest. You have a good and deep grasp of many things, even if you like to keep them hidden...and you are not easily misled, even if sometimes you'll pretend that you are. More, too, as a son of a previous Kyouraku Shinigami, your own _reiryoku_ potential is..."

"No." Shunsui said flatly, pulling away from her grasp and taking steps away from her as images of his Father's death crossed his mind once more.

"But Shunsui..."

"I don't want to be like Father in that way." Shunsui shook his head. "I don't want to carry a blade. I don't want to hunt things. I just want to be left alone."

"Well, it's gone too far for that."

Now his brother's voice joined the conversation and, as they reached the waiting chariot, Shunsui registered Tokutarou standing beside it, the tension in his body clearly telling him that the Kyouraku lord had about reached the end of his patience.

"Aside from the family name being pulled through the mud, neither Yoshiko-dono or I are willing to stand back and let this go on any more." Tokutarou continued slowly, a resolute steeliness in his dark eyes as he grasped his brother loosely by the shoulders, forcing him to meet his gaze. "So this is how it is. You have two choices, Shunsui - there is no other option than these, so listen carefully. All right? Because I won't have my brother causing his mother so much pain. You don't realise, in all this self-pitying of yours, how lucky you are to have a mother who cares for you so much. I won't let you make that person cry any more, and I won't let you give me a headache each morning trying to work out where you've gone this time. So this is the way it's going to be. I've the support of the clan, and there won't be any room for argument or escape. Are you listening to me?"

Shunsui stared at him blankly, somehow mesmerised by his brother's rigid gaze, and Tokutarou nodded.

"Good." He muttered. "All right. Either you can come back with us and listen to us on the subject of Genryuusai-sama's Academy. Or, if you refuse to do that, I'll put in motion moves to make sure you're kept firmly under lock and key..."

His eyes narrowed and Shunsui suddenly felt very uneasy at the way this conversation was heading.

"I have had plenty of people enquire about your eligibility for marriage." Tokutarou said coolly now. "And if you don't want to train as a Shinigami, you'll have to be useful in another way and seal yourself into a suitable betrothal contract. Since you like women so much, I thought, perhaps this would be a way to indulge your interests in a much more stable manner. You're seventeen, after all - a good age for the foundations of such arrangements to be put into play."

He smiled, but there was no humour in the smile, and a prickle ran down Shunsui's spine. He had underestimated Tokutarou's skill at manipulation, but they were, after all, blood brothers.

"Of course, it will mean many, many meetings with the various suitors and their families." Tokutarou continued levelly. "It will mean I won't let you out of my sight even for a moment, to ensure you can't cause offence to any of the individuals during these meetings. And I will be making sure that the eventual choice of bride is one who will keep you and your vices well in hand, Shunsui. That is the choice you're faced with. Shinigami school or arranged marriage. Take your pick."

Shunsui's jaw dropped, and for a moment he merely stared at his companion, trying to gauge how serious the man was. An image of Saku flitted across his senses, and he bit his lip, shaking his head as if to clear it.

There was a long silence, then, at length, he sighed, knowing he was beaten.

"Let's go back to the manor." He said slowly, his heart heavy in his chest. "I suppose if you want to talk about this Yamamoto person...it wouldn't hurt to listen."

* * *

_**~Meifu's Gate~::Prequel::  
Owari**_

* * *

**Author's Note - The End (for now!)**

_There it is then :) The end. Thank you everyone who's read to the end of this prequel and who's contributed reviews, comments and other random babble along the way._

I had to write a chapter with Shunsui living that aimless life that's referenced in his bio, and this was it! He has had quite a rough ride to get to this point, I realise (huggles Shunsui apologetically) but hopefully it's logical overall.

_I have written about the boys at the Academy. Where the story is going to end up only the boys themselves know, honestly - but I will start to upload it to the server in the not to distant future. It will be titled **Meifu's Gate: Second Manuscript** and currently it stands at about 22 chapters on my flashdisk._

It will be a story about the society in which the boys are growing up in as well as their own particular tale of friendship and character development under Yamajii's watchful eye. There are therefore some OCs, most of whom connect directly to characters in the existing series either by obvious name links (Kuchiki, Shihouin, etc) or by less obvious ones (and there'll be cookies for anyone who can spot those connections, hehe :D). Some of the OC characters from this story will also appear or be referenced in the Academy story in a limited degree (some more than others, probably).  


_The next story will be based on the foundations laid in this story in terms of the boys' pasts and their characters as well as the structure of Soul Society. It's far from canon, but you have to write from some basis, right?_

* * *


End file.
